FAMILY MATTERS

I have just returned from a trip to New York, one very different from the one I experienced with my friends back in November. This trip was spent with my in-laws for the Christmas holiday. Some may see the word "in-laws" and think, "Oooh, in-laws, we know how that goes," but that's not the case in my life. "In-laws" does not have a negative connotation for me, in fact, I have been blessed with some of the most interesting, loving, honest in-laws there are.

First there is my mother-in-law: She is very caring and so open with me. I ask her all sorts of questions about her life and she answers them honestly, which I completely appreciate. Being a Southern girl, I'm used to a little bit of "BS" in order to keep things light and not too serious, while my New Yorker in-laws are right out there with their opinions and true selves. (I think I especially enjoy this honesty because it reminds me of my Mother, who has always been out there with her self and her feelings and thoughts. See

Mom's Blog

)

Second is my sister-in-law, who is beautiful and fun and who is the "peace keeper" of the family, always politically correct and genuine about it. My sister-in-law has a way of making everyone feel comfortable and my husband has a wonderful relationship with his sister that I really admire.

My brother-in-law is very creative and insightful and he has been known to be somewhat aloof, as was verified in a conversation I had with him this week, but he has always been very open with me. He is intelligent and sensitive and cares very much for his family and friends.

All of my in-laws love each other deeply and this strong love for each other allows them to feel safe enough to voice their issues and concerns with one another. This causes friction and, although it is uncomfortable at times, I also believe it's necessary friction. If we keep all of our thoughts and feelings bottled up, they will eventually turn into deep resentment and anger and relationships will suffer greatly.

So, I have to say that my in-laws and my husband have gotten something very important figured out: It is important to be able to get things out in the open to be able to work through the issues we have in order to have a sincere, open relationship with family members. Family, the people who have shared your life with you and helped make you who you are, are important enough to do just that. I would say my trip to New York showed me, above all else, that Family Matters.

"And she shall bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name JESUS; for it is he that shall save his people from their sins." -Mathew 1:18

Just a little reminder of the true meaning and reason for the season of Christmas. Merry, Merry Christmas!! I will be on Christmas hiatus from the blog world, and possibly the Internet as a whole, through December 28. I hope you and yours have a wonderful, safe, memorable Christmas.

God Bless.

"Just when you think things couldn't get any better, you step on the scale."

This is a direct quote from someone over in my Weight Watchers group today. (Yes, I am finally speaking up publicly on my blog about what it is I have been doing to lose 23 lbs. I'm at 22.8 lbs. lost as of today, so we'll round on up to 23 lbs and call it "good" right before the big holiday!!) This great one-liner from a fellow WW pal just made me realize how great it feels to succeed and to have people around me who understand and who are experiencing these moments along with me, how great it feels to feel good about yourself when you wake up in the morning, go through your day and go to bed at night. The wonderfully positive attitude of my WW pal today just reminded me why I started this journey to begin with.

I've been going to Weight Watchers (WW) here at work since June. What finally led me there was an altercation I had with a scale in my gym. I hadn't worked out consistently in a long while and I hadn't been on a scale in even longer. So, I decided one day that I had lifted a couple of 2 lb. weights and walked on the treadmill for about 15 minutes, which is better than nothing but definitely not a sweat-producer, and I wanted to see how much I weighed. I timidly got on the scale, messed with the funky weights of the old timey doctor's scale and, to my great surprise, the scale said 170 lbs.!! I stepped back off of the scale and thought to myself, "That can't be right!" So I got back on and tried it again with the same result. I was horrified. I couldn't believe that the people at my gym couldn't find ACCURATE SCALES!! I mean, come on, my gym is associated with the hospital, they have to have accurate scales. I huffed out of the gym, determined to find an accurate scale and about two weeks later, June 29 to be exact, I did find one.

On June 29, I made the decision, all on my own with not one person by my side, to see what WW was all about. Our company pays for a large portion of the cost of the program and I didn't see any reason why I couldn't make it work. So, on June 29 I walked into my first WW meeting where I was greeted by Karen, who is our program leader and who I completely admire for her humor, her honesty and her strength. After meeting Karen and filling out some paperwork, it was time for the moment of truth...the first weigh-in. I got on that scale and low and behold...it said 171.6 lbs.-to the last ounce, baby!! I didn't realize until later how very important those ounces were going to be to my progress. I couldn't believe my eyes, but, even in my disappointment, I breathed a sigh of relief because I could finally stop lying to myself and I was finally doing something about it.

Looking back now, I remember walking into that room for the first time thinking, "God, I hope I'm not the [insert appropriate adjective here]" (youngest, fattest, skinniest, etc., etc.). I was none of those things and, even if I had been, it wouldn't have mattered one bit to anyone but me. But I was so caught up in what I didn't want to be that I couldn't see past that to what I am and what I can be. I was so guilty of just ignoring what my body and my soul tell me, whether that is "slow down" or "get yourself moving" or just "it's not time for that now." Through WW, I have learned to listen to myself-what I need, what makes me feel good, what I really want and why. It has been a long, successful journey to this point.

I have sincerely enjoyed going to these WW meetings every single week for the past 26 weeks and I look forward to continuing to attend these meetings to stay in tune with myself and to cheer on and sympathize, whatever the case may be, with my fellow WW pals. I also look forward to learning more about who I am, body and soul.

Weight Watchers On-line

Last Friday, my co-workers and I went to lunch and then to the movies. I was really excited about this fun day away from the office and I was looking forward to seeing this great movie...

The Family Stone

Boy was I ever surprised!! What started out as a typical "family comes home for Christmas" movie turned into an emotional roller coaster. There was laughter and anger and tears. All of which felt so good. This movie makes you think about family and how important they are. It reminds you that you should cherish every moment you have with family and friends as you never know if and when they will be around. I highly recommend this movie and I would be up for seeing it again should anyone need a movie pal to go with them. It has a fantastic cast, lots of great laughs for guys and girls and a genuine message for anyone. If you see it, or have already seen it, let me know what you think.

After a semi-stressful week for my husband and I at work last week, we have re-gained control and are back on track, therefore, I am feeling really excited about our trip to New York this Thursday. We figured it out last night, and it's been about a year and a half since we saw his family who live in NYC. That's way too long!! We miss them so much and we can't wait to see them and spend time with them for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, as mentioned previously, I have really been in the spirit of the season-buying gifts, wrapping gifts, spending time at holiday parties and gatherings and just enjoying life-and I think one particular thing about this year helped me to get more in the spirit of what Christmas is really about. since we're going to New York this year, my husband suggested we not erect a Christmas tree or do the typical fussing with decorations and things around the house. Well, at first I was sad about this as I really enjoy decorating, but now that we've gotten closer to the actual holiday I realize that I usually spend time fussing around the house and not paying attention to the things that are most important-friends, family and quiet, reflective time for myself. So, I am glad to have that extra time without the fuss as it has made for a very special time for me.

"When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand,

and nothing, oh nothing is going right,

close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there

to brighten up even your darkest night.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am

I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again.

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall...all ya got to do is call and I'll be there,

yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend.

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds

and that old North wind should begin to blow,

keep your head to Heaven and call my name out loud now

and soon I'll be knockin' upon your door.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am,

I'll come running, oh yes I will, to see you again.

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall...all ya got to do is call

and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey ain't it good to know that you've got a friend

'cause people can be so cold.

They'll hurt you and desert you, well they'll take your soul if you let them.

Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am,

I'll come running to see you again.

Oh baby, don't ya know 'bout...

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall...hey now all ya got to do is call,

Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.

You've got a friend.

You've got a friend, yeah.

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?

You've got a friend."

-James Taylor

I've got so many friends, so many great friends that this song genuinely speaks to. I am very lucky.

But one friend in particular makes my heart fill with joy when I think of her and she has made this week extra special for me through her generosity and kindness.

This friend and I became friends in college; we are sorority sisters. She was a wonderful young lady when I met her in college, lots of fun and full of smiles and laughter. She is an even more remarkable woman today-strong, giving and so very real. She is intelligent, warm, happy, uncomplicated, innocent, beautiful and one of the most caring and thoughtful people I know. She is one of those people that listens, really listens, because she truly cares. She expresses her feelings so easily and she pays careful attention to those she cares about. Although she lives miles and miles away now, I know she and I will always be friends. It is tough to not be her friend as she is so easy to like and even easier to love. We share a friendship that I treasure-the kind of friendship that challenges those miles and months apart. She is a forever friend and I am so, very blessed to have her in my life, as my friend.

Casey, thank you for being my friend and for your thoughtfulness and all the wonderful things that make you who you are. I can't wait to share so many more memories together with our darling husbands. Thank you for your kind gifts. Your kindness truly made mine and my husband's week. We miss and love you and John and wish you all the happiness and love in the world, which you both so wholeheartedly deserve. God bless you both.

"Silver Bells. Silvers Bells. It's Christmastime in the city!"

I'm so in the spirit of the holidays. I gave my first Christmas gift to a friend, had my first taste of mulled wine (very yummy!), went to my boss' Christmas party and drove around with friends looking at Christmas lights...all on Friday night. That began my jolly holiday mood.

"You better not pout, you better not cry..."

We got all of our Christmas shopping finished on Saturday, which was a great accomplishment. Toys R Us was a mad house, but overall the shopping was enjoyable. Saturday evening was spent at a favorite hole-in-the-wall spot with my husband where the Christmas lights and tree shined brightly around us. One more step toward the giggly, silly holiday spirit.

"You better be good, I'm telling you why..."

On Sunday, I wrapped gifts while listening to Christmas music and a I finished a really nice photo album that I was making for a friend of mine to give as a Christmas gift to her father-in-law. With all of the wrapping and gift-making, I felt like a bona fide elf!!

"Santa Claus is coming to town!"

I still believe... (www.northpole.com)

"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory."-Betty Smith

Everyone gets so nostalgic around the holidays, myself included. No one wants to work. Everyone has a bit more rosy in their cheeks, a little spring in their step and a lightness in their hearts. But at the same time, everyone longs for those holidays of years passed when they had few worries and looked forward to all of the wonderment of the season.

I love the time between Thanksgiving and New Years, as hectic as it can feel. Most of all, I enjoy all of the things that my co-workers and I do for the less fortunate that either live in the neighborhood surrounding the hospital where we work, or for the family members who also work here with us and have had some kind of tragedy occur keeping them from being able to provide for their family this holiday. I am surrounded by so many generous, giving people all the time and it's easy to forget that not everyone is like that.

As my co-workers and I wrapped gifts today to be distributed to kids at a nearby elementary school tomorrow, I began to feel the real feelings of Christmas. That feeling of giving unconditionally to someone who may never know your name. These kids will open gifts tomorrow from all of us and it may end up being that Christmas to remember forever for one or two of them...the Christmas when Santa Claus really did exist through the faith of these children and the generosity of so many who care for others.

Feeling overwhelmed.

School finished for the semester yesterday.

Work stress.

Holiday cards to complete and send.

Holiday parties to attend.

Holiday gifts to buy.

New side business to keep me busy.

New York trip to prepare for (Dec 22-28).

Houston trip to prepare for (Jan 6-8).

Health and fitness program to keep on the forefront of my mind so as not to diminish any of my progress.

What is it with girls...we all love to dance. Me and my friends have this thing we call "Dance Party U.S.A." It began when I had a bunch of friends at my house for a girls only sleepover a few years ago. We had the radio on and, after a few cocktails, we all began cutting a rug (literally!!) in my living room. Some of us free-style, others choreograph and perform, but we all love to dance.

Maybe it was "Flash Dance" with Jennifer Beal and Michael Nourie, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" with Sarah Jessica Parker, "A Chorus Line" or maybe even Madonna in the '80s and '90s, but no matter the inspiration, dancing brings out the best in us.

This past Saturday was no disappointment (see photo above). A group of nine girls shined a friend of our's living room floor dancing to the beats of everything from Vanilla Ice's '90s hit, "Ice, Ice Baby," to JoDee Messina's popular country song, "I'm Alright."It was a blast and kept us up until the wee hours of the morning.

So, girls don't "Just Wanna Have Fun" they "Just Wanna Dance!!"

In response to Bab's blog , I would like to add a little something else that has been on my mind regarding pregnancy and having babies.

Personal space.

It's something that I hold very dear as I am slightly claustrophobic. Not to say that I'm not affectionate or "touchy-feely" as I have been known to hug for longer than the norm and I pat shoulders and arms when the person talking to me says something funny or otherwise interesting, but I am speaking more of that space between us and those pregnant bellies or us and those cute babies and toddlers.

Yes, I admit it, I am guilty. I see a wonderfully pregnant tummy and I want to reach out to it. Maybe it's the knowledge that there is a magical life growing inside and that it's so real and human. I don't know what it is I guess I just think pregnant women are beautiful.

I also have a tough time resisting a baby or toddler, even strangers' babies or toddlers. They are just so irresistably cute and wonderful!! (See photos below for verification...)

This urge is so strong that I find myself holding my hands together to keep from embarrassing myself...but the bottom line is, I don't do it. I don't touch other people's bellies or children unless invited to do so and even then it's only when it is an invitation from someone I know well.

Now that I have admited my urge, I have to tell you that many of the mothers that I know say not everyone controls those urges like I do. Yes, that's right, strangers will come up and touch their pregnant tummies, ask to hold their baby or pinch the cheeks of their toddler without ever a word to the parents. Others may not touch, but instead they lean in very close to the baby or toddler and talk to them in that squeaky, baby-talk voice, "He's a good wittle boy...yeah. Such a sweet honey bunny." This just isn't acceptable. Get a life, would ya?!

In conjunction with these weird-os who reach out unsolicited, are the parents who ask strangers if they want to "feel the baby kick" in the pregnant tummy, or if they want to hold the baby or play with the toddler. Granted, this is a personal choice, but I still think it's a bit strange. Not everyone wants and feels the urge to hold your baby and that's alright, no need to get bent out of shape over it. Some people can just walk on by without turning into puddy over your little angel. Not everyone has the same urge that I have...I may be the minority. Either way, personal space is important and maybe the infant doesn't want you 'tapping on the glass,' if you will, when she is in her mother's tummy minding her own business. Maybe that toddler doesn't want his cheeks pinched.

Did you ever think about that?