Safe

A great weekend of relaxation, friends, fun, reading and movies. A weekend of separation from hubby as he was out of town working...good to miss each other and even better to have him back at home with me. It's amazing to me how different it feels just having him at home. When I'm alone, I am super sensitive to sounds and movements around the house. Not so much afraid, as aware and conscious of and sensitive to my surroundings. When my husband is at home, I hardly bother to check to see if the doors are locked at night! I just feel safer when he is with me. There's no amount of money in the world that can buy that feeling; it's the best and it's not easy to come by these days. Thank you, hubby, for making me feel safer. You are my rock and my hero and my security blanket.

Cutting the Ties that Bind

Thank you to all who have helped to untangle me in my life. Please consider this a simple little nudge of gratitude for all that you have done and do every day for me.

"If you read the front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, as well as a line tugging in her mouth. A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and he quickly radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her...a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.They worked for hours with careful curved knives, concetrating on her safety and her freedom and eventually they freed her. When she was freed, the divers say the whale swam around in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushing gently around, she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The rescuer who cut the rope out of the whale's mouth said her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same."

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

I'm so...

I'm so fed up with co-workers with bad attitudes who claim to be "team players," but who don't want to actually work.

I'm so irritated by people who think they can get something for nothing, especially when it comes to a charity event when the goal of the event is to raise money!

I'm so frightened by rude drivers who actually shoot you the finger and have you scared that you may be a victim of Road Rage, making you want to stay safe in your own little home with the doors locked.

I'm so sick of high-priced gas and low-priced cigarettes.

I'm so numbed by the deaths of our military men and women in Iraq and the sadness felt by their family and my thoughts that I really don't know why they are there and why they must die.

I'm so sure...sweating in May?!

I'm so frustrated by not having time for myself, not making time for myself and making excuses.

I'm so over Monday's.

I spent the last four days with my husband's raucous family. Three of them were visiting from New York and the rest visited us Saturday and Sunday from a suburb of the Metroplex where they all live. We ate, drank, laughed, hollared and laughed some more, and I returned to work today happy, tired and with a sore throat from competing with these booming voices and personalities. It was a great time.

On Mother's Day, I had several mothers in my home. It was a special time for me and my husband to shower family and close friends with love and care and lots of yummy food. Hubby made a mean spread of viddles that everyone truly enjoyed. But even with all of the excitement and fun and people around me, something was missing.

My Mother was in Houston for Mother's Day...staying home and enjoying her time alone as the rain poured down outside her window. My Mother was missing from the crazy scene at my house on Sunday. I felt sad not to have her with me, but today, after reading the words on her blog (www.miaspeaks.blogspot.com), I feel so much better. I learned that Mother's Day is just as much about the women who touched her life as they are about my being her daughter.

Thank you, Mom, for your fantastic words about the exceptional women in your life who have touched me in so many ways, as well.

Baba, Granny Doris, Grandma Helen and Zelma...what a remarkable group of unique, charismatic characters. I also thankful for all of you for what you have been and still are to my Mother. You all make Mother's Day extra, extra special for both of us.

I Have An Obsession

That obsession is with photos and mementos of my life. I have a whole walk-in closet in my home dedicated to these items that detail my life and pieces of the lives of others. I have stacks of photos and mementos waiting to be placed in the appropriate photo album based on the year of the memory. I stress out when I come across a photo from a year passed and I can't decipher when it was taken. I have three on-line photo company accounts of my own photos and those from friends' collections that I can order at any time for my albums or to make a photo into a card, or a coffee mug or make multiple photos into a calendar. I love everything that has to do with photos including cameras, frames, mattes and albums. I am a photo geek.

But I really think this obsession is more about reminiscing than it is about the photo taking, developing and keepsaking process. I love to look back and remember how things were, how people looked and what all happened. I think this is because I have had an extraordinarily happy life. My life hasn't been necessarily extraordinary by the definition of the word, but it has been an extremely happy life 99% of the time.

These photos and mementos remind me of who I am, who I was and maybe even who I don't want to be. They remind me of good times, bad times and strange times. I have photos dating back to my great, great, great, great ancestors and I have photos from last week. My photos and mementos make me feel real and human and mortal. They tell me that one day my own great, great, great, great grandchildren will look back at my photos (the thousands that there are) and remember me and know that somehow, in some way, I am a part of them. They will know that everything is related and linked.

My obsession is as much about the past and present as it is about the future. A moment, captured, that speaks a million words to a future generation. May we all have such an obsession.

I'm a big Copy Cat! I love quizes and I saw this on my good friend's blog and had to copy her!! Have fun!!

Take My Quiz - on - QuizYourFriends.com!

So much to post today...

Over the weekend I attended a women's church retreat with three of my friends. It was a great time of sharing and listening. I felt surrounded by love and prayer and it was an amazing feeling. One of the many things I took away from the retreat was this scripture, my new favorite scripture:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

This scripture made me cry when I first read it and these words were the theme, if you will, of the whole retreat. When I heard the speakers say these words, tears would come to my eyes again and again. This is probably one of the most loving passages in the Bible, but it is also one of the toughest to truly, completely believe in at times of trouble. I will hold this close to my heart, post it where I can see it always, and believe in the words, no matter what.

There were many things said and sung at the retreat that hit home with me, but one particular testimonial grabbed my heart and soul and made me sit up and listen.

This testimonial was about perfection-the need to feel that everything is perfect, for yourself and everything around you, to try and fill a void within. You look just right, you do everything just so, you marry the right man and have the right friends and the right job, but you still can't fill the void. Then, one day, you find yourself so overwhelmed by your perfectionism that you look for something to numb that craving for perfection. Maybe that something is alcohol or pills, maybe it's food or trying to remain so busy that you don't think, but it's something to keep you from dealing with your real thoughts and feelings and something to fill the void that only God can fill. When this woman, this brave, strong woman, got up and told her story, I saw myself in her and then I lost it! I knew that this was God speaking to me, showing me that I can make changes now so as not to get overwhelmed by having to have everything perfect, because there is no such thing as perfection and that's so alright.

I am perfect in God's eyes and as soon as I can remember that in the whirlwind that is my life, I will be able to move through the crazy times.

What a wonderful time on Friday and Saturday. I am so thankful to my friends who joined me at this retreat. I think each of them felt touched by something over those two days, and I probably would not have gone to the retreat without them. I am also very thankful for Fellowship Church. How different my life would be without the words, the messages and the people there.