P1641:4, 146:3.2
The apostles were a bit disconcerted by the open manner of Jesus' assent to many of the Greek's propositions, but Jesus afterward privately said to them: "My children, marvel not that I was tolerant of the Greek's philosophy. True and genuine inward certainty does not in the least fear outward analysis, nor does truth resent honest criticism. You should never forget that intolerance is the mask covering up the entertainment of secret doubts as to the trueness of one's belief. No man is at any time disturbed by his neighbor's attitude when he has perfect confidence in the truth of that which he wholeheartedly believes. Courage is the confidence of thoroughgoing honesty about those things which one professes to believe. Sincere men are unafraid of the critical examination of their true convictions and noble ideals."

I had a conversation with a close friend the other day about another friend who has spoken against my church of choice and, specifically, the senior pastor of my church. In reading this passage my close friend sent to me after our discussion, the passage really helped me understand that his criticism is really not my concern. It is his prerogative to have his own opinion, but it shows that he is somewhat insecure in his own beliefs that he must doubt and speak against my beliefs, my church and my pastor. I've noticed more and more that when I have questions, and things are tough for me, there is usually always a scripture that can help me through it. This is just one more perfect example. There is no need for me to be afraid, or defensive, of the critical examination of my convictions and noble ideals, for I am sincere in my faith and my beliefs.

We Found It In the City

Something happens to you when you move to the suburbs.

I'm not sure how or why, but you begin to feel more secure in some ways. You are no longer a little bit scared to go to the grocery store at night by yourself. You no longer look both ways to cross the street and you don't hear traffic and screeching tires outside your window while you sleep. But all of this is just space and time between the bright lights of the city.

A more key element of living in the suburbs is that one definitely becomes more maternal. Following the big move, if it hasn't already, the little family begins to emerge. The Tyco plastic swing is hung on the brand new tree in the front yard; you start to see having a pool and a white picket fence as truly possible and "fun for the kids;" and you join play groups with other full-time mom's.

Why does this happen? Well, I think part of it is human nature to try and fit in where we are. When you're in the city, people wait to have children or they have cool kids with unestablished nap times and active parents who go out on real dates every weekend.-people who have babysitters instead of nannies. Life is just different, especially family life.

Now, just for the record, I'm not knocking either way of life...just examining them. I find the subtle differences interesting.

We were thinking about moving to the 'burbs a couple of years ago, mostly because we owned a new home and loved the idea of moving into a bigger, better new home in an area with good schools for a price that the city just couldn't compete with. What changed our minds?

We love the sound of birds chirping and the shade of the old, mature trees in our older neighborhood. We love the diversity of young, old and everything in between in our neighborhood. We love the short drive to see friends, eat really delicious food, watch pro hockey games and pick-up refreshments at a liquor store (most 'burbs are dry areas in Texas). But most of all, I think we both grew up in the city-me Houston, him New York-and it's really hard to leave it.

We are lucky. We don't have to drive 45 minutes to feel that maternal feeling, (we have several of those Tyco plastic swings hanging on trees in our neighborhood!), or live in a neighborhood with good schools and have the American dream. We found it in the city.

Something I wanted to blog about today is the fact that I am finished with my class for this semester-the required writing course. This is the class that I complained about before starting it back in December and then complained about all through the semester. Well, as I sat filling out my course evaluation last night I realized that I was giving the class and the professor really high marks, and I sat back and asked myself, "How can I be giving high marks for this class when I've been complaining the ENTIRE time!?"

I know why...because the class and the professor have really challenged me. The class and the assignments have made me think and made me work hard and then it still wasn't perfect work, and all of that has shown me where I have room for improvement. It's not always fun to see that you have room for improvement, but it is necessary. So, although I am truly glad the class is over, I have learned the lesson: Sometimes when you don't like something, or someone, it can be just as much about yourself as it is about what you don't like.

Have a great weekend!!!

Spoke with hubby last night about blogging and how it has become a bit of an obligation for me. I also feel like it's somewhat narcissistic-always going on-line to write about yourself and what you do expecting others to be so interested in what you have to say. But hubby made a good point: it's a good way for other people who are far away to keep in touch and find out how you're doing. He says people really read my blog.

I can accept that. Before the blog I would send out life updates via e-mail to family and friends who live far away. This isn't that different except that I sometimes tackle things that annoy or interest me, share a quote that I like or that has struck me and those things also say a lot about what's going on with me and how I'm doing.

Maybe I'm just going through a slump in my blogging mind. I began a new personal journal last night as part of my birthday gift to myself and I really want to delve into things personally that I would never post on a blog. So, maybe it's also that I feel a bit violated now after Scary Blog Crasher posted a comment a week or so ago. I mean, I'm not stupid, I know many people that don't know me can access this site easily, but I never thought I would have to face those people. It has wigged me out.

I'll get over it, though. Most things don't stick with me for long. I don't carry a grudge or an ill will. I will eventually get over the Scary Blog Crasher and I will get over this sense of narcissism and obligation; it just may take a little while. Until then, you may just have to put up with my stream of consciousness posts, such as this!

It's funny how you can merely leave your own city and realize how beautiful a place only 200 miles away is. Hubby and I visited Austin this past Saturday and I was amazed at the lakes and hills and trees and overall beauty of the area we were in for a very short time. We will visit again soon.

Yesterday was a special day for me as 27 years ago I was brought into this world. Hubby and I celebrated with a fabulous, decadent dinner prepared by my most talented chef of a husband. I can't even begin to explain the melding of wonderful flavors. It was more than I could ever have asked for. I am so, so, so lucky to be married to a man with such talent that he is willing to share with me. YUM!!

Dinner is served (above). The photo's a bit blurry, but you can see the fried goat cheese and wasabi wontons aside the exquisite almond encrusted halibut, which is atop soba noodles with mushrooms and cucumber slices flavored with soy, ginger, cilantro and many other wonderful tastes. I'm sure my husband will freak at my forgetting some of the ingredients, but, man, I was too excited and ready to eat as we talked about it. It was fantastic!!!

All-in-all my 27th year started off quite well. I have a feeling this will be an age of exciting new beginnings and the betterment of some things old. Thanks to all of you who have made sure my birthday month was extra, extra special-especially my generous, loving husband. :0)

Strangers have been viewing my blog and have posted comments, and that makes me quite uncomfortable. So, I am now having to change some things to make this blog so that I am unidentifiable. Why do weirdos have to be weirdos??!!

My how the day can get away from me...
I was at work this afternoon, looked up and saw that it was already 4:30 in the afternoon and I didn't have half of what I needed done completed. Funny how that happens. Is it that I'm procrastinating because I have so much to do, or is it truly that I'm getting a lot accomplished, therefore the time is flying by?

On another note, I turn 27 in a few short days and I'm feeling a little different about that than I usually feel about my birthdays. My Mother was 27 when she had me; I always thought I would have a child by the time I was 27. But then you get here and realize that "what I always thought" is not quite reality. Maybe that's the part that bothers me...what is my reality? What is 27 supposed to feel like and look like? Is it still mid-twenties or is it almost 30; does it even matter? How much has changed from my 26th birthday?

My own food for thought and boy am I ever full up today. I'll leave it for another day.

Fabulous April Beginnings

WOW! I haven't posted in a week! I've missed it in some ways and not missed it in others. I have so much to say so here goes:

I left last Sunday for Atlanta for a work conference where I felt very valued and understood as a professional in my field. I met a ton of great people from all over the world (yes, the world, it was an international conference) and learned quite a bit through the seminars, the speakers and the vendors at the exhibits. I'm looking forward to the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP) international conference next year as it will be held in the Big D!!

Arrived back home last Wednesday in need of some rest. Learning and having a good time meeting lots of people wears you out! I used last Thursday and Friday to relax and pamper myself-I'm really good at that!!

On Friday, my Mom and her best friend arrived in Dallas to begin the festivities surrounding my birthday tea party (hats required). Friday night I hosted a number of my family from out of town and felt completely overwhelmed by their frantic ranting about dinner taking longer to cook than they wanted. Why is family so impatient? As soon as dinner was served, though, the natives rested and I felt much better. I enjoyed a nice conversation with my Auntie C, whom I don't see much, but enjoy lots, and it was a good night.

On Saturday morning, I relaxed with my husband and sister in law, who flew in all the way from New York. Then it was time for the big event...the Tea Party. I have not had that much fun or been that happy in a really long time. Not only did I feel exceptionally spoiled and loved by those who were in attendance, but I was also thrilled that everyone there got in the spirit of things by arriving with hats on!! Everyone looked so beautiful and so festive. I really think hats cause a certain mood that is different and fun and unique. It was a blast! We drank kir royales, wild blackberry tea and Earl Grey tea, ate finger sandwiches, scones and decadent desserts, and talked and talked like a bunch of hens. A perfect day for a true girl's girl like me!!!

On Sunday, my husband and I took my sister in law out to a friend's house. We ate dinner and chatted with them, two more New Yorkers who have three beautiful children. As we visited in these nice people's home, hubby and I found ourselves falling in love...with their 3-year-old daughter, Sophia. What a little gem she is! My husband and I spent time with Sophia in her room, the three of us just playing and playing. We laughed so hard at her cute little quips and quirks-she has a wonderful habit of doing something, anything and then putting her arms in the air and saying, "Ta-Da!" Too cute. On the way home last night, hubby and I commented on how cute those kiddos were and I thought to myself, "I can't wait to say these things about our own little ones."

All-in-all the week and weekends around it were fantastic. I am very lucky to be doing work that I so enjoy and feel good learing more and more about. I am also very, very, very blessed to have the family and friendships that I do. Life just wouldn't be even close to the same without them. And that week off from work was just what I needed.

Wishing you time to re-focus, re-connect and realize how lucky you are!!