Weekend Warriors

It's kind of hard to describe the color malted milk. It's kind of a creamy white-beige, very neutral and very different from the blueberry that was on the walls before. I'm speaking of the recent renovation of our second upstairs bedroom, previously called "my study." Hubby and I got a wild hair last Saturday morning and decided that we would produce our own series of "Weekend Warriors" over the Memorial Day weekend by replacing the flooring, painting the walls, repairing a large gaping hole in one wall and painting all of the trim in "my study."

This seemed like a fantastic idea until hubby and I were getting into heated debate about whether to "use the spacers" or "not use the spacers" once the project began on Saturday morning. See we were installing one of those glueless wood floors that is supposed to simply snap into place with a tap from a rubber mallet, but those first few rows of flooring are a beating to install. You have to put it down just right and hold it into place; it's definitely a two-person job. Sounds like fun, right? Well, it didn't start off as very fun! Once we got the hang of it, about two hours into the actual flooring part we were alright. The two hours doesn't count the time it took to remove the trim along the bottom of the walls, rip out the disgusting carpet and padding, nail down the popped up sub-flooring, sweep the subflooring repeatedly and then lay down the moisture/sound barrier. What were we thinking?!?! After we got about half-way through the floor installation, and had popped the tops off our first beers of the day, we were feeling pretty damn good about ourselves. The flooring project was complete in about a day and a half, the walls and trim then were finished up after that. The whole project-floors, walls and all-took us from Saturday to Monday evening with a few breaks for food and one evening party. Pretty good for an amateur husband & wife team, eh? Now the room looks so nice that we don't want to put any of the old furniture back in it. We want new furniture that looks as good as the room does. Every night on our way to our bedroom, we look into our new "professional-looking suite" and just smile in appreciation.

I really enjoy these spur-of-the-moment home projects with Greg. We are a really great team and, luckily, we're both relatively thick-skinned when it comes to our heated debates. We get into it and get over very quickly, only to smile at one another when an obstacle is overcome and the heated debate has cooled. The best part of all? Standing back and admiring one's work wrapped in the arms of your husband, your best friend, your partner. Weekend Warriors? No, just the O'Neills at it again!!

You know, I have always been a realist, quite skeptical of miracles, but lately I am beginning to open up my heart and mind to finding the miracles in all things large and small. There have been several recent pieces of news that I have heard about-specifically pregnancies-that I believe show me that miracles really do happen all around us. I realize now that getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term isn't something to be taken lightly. It doesn't "just happen." It is a miracle and I am so glad that I am able to see that now. I really think that things happen in our lives and we may not ever know the reason, but we should try and find the message and the blessing in everything. I am in no way trying to rationalize horrible tragedies or the pain of loss and grief, but I think all things come into our lives for a reason and we can choose how we want to allow those things to affect us. I choose to allow these promises of new life to affect me as proof of life's miracles. How's that for pragmatic idealism?

In other news, I am in the midst of a three-week break from school before my one-month summer session begins next Thursday. I am enjoying my time for myself and my time each night with Greg. I find that we enjoy each other more fully when we can share our days with one another and then relax together at home. The spring weather is enticing, but the allergies and mosquitos make this time of year a real challenge for this girl!! I am pushing through it and trying to enjoy the outdoors as much as I can.

Things at work are going well. I attended a fundraising workshop yesterday with some co-workers and really, really enjoyed it. The speaker was very knowledgable and really knew how to revv up the crowd. I feel a real pull toward the fundraising path, which is very different from my current role in communications, so I'll be interested to see how the next few months unravel with my boss leaving and my new supervisor taking over. Should make for an interesting summer!!

Sad, sad news of the loss of my Mother's best friend's husband. She is there for her friend, her rock, during a time of overwhelming grief and confusion. I can't imagine losing one's spouse and I feel as though my heart will break when I think of what she must be going through. Luckily, in this newfound pragmatic optimism, I feel as though when something terrible happens, there must be something wonderful that occurs to take its place. How else could we get through things like this?

Greg takes New York in t-minus 12 days!! He hasn't been home alone since 2002, I believe. I am excited for him to spend time with family and friends on his own. I know he'll have a wonderful time and he'll return feeling great. I am happy that we are able to plan such travels.

Well, I think that's about it for now. Hoping you find the miracles-large and small-in every day!!!

"There is no other closeness in human life like the closeness between a mother and her baby." — Susan Cheever

Funny how this quote should be delivered into my e-mail Inbox this morning because I think about motherhood...A LOT!! I see pregnant women and smile; I play peek-a-boo with children I encounter; I even watch mothers and their teens as they speak with one another...or don't speak to one another whatever the case may be. Motherhood is a wonderful blessing and such a mystery. I have such a respect for it and yet I don't completely understand it because I am not a mother. I adore my nieces and nephews and I feel unconditional love for them, but I know when I have my own children, it will be so much deeper, so much more than I could ever imagine. I am ready for that closeness; I am ready for that bond that can never be broken; I am ready to be a Mother.

Ever have one of those "avoidance days" when you don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, you just want to curl up on the couch and read a book or watch a TV show? I'm having one of those days and both of those activities are pretty tough to do when you're at work. I'm not avoiding anything in particular, just everything really. I don't feel like talking or thinking too much, I'm just ready to settle in and be quiet.

I am officially finishing yet another semester of school tonight. Last night's class included a presentation and turning in a 20-page research paper-WHEW! Tonight will be much more laid back as we're meeting at a local restaurant where we'll turn in our last paper and then enjoy drinks and dinner with our professor and classmates. I've had a lot of frustration this semester, mostly self-induced. A fellow student said last night that it was probably because I really only have about a year's worth of work left and being on the downward crawl makes one anxious and irritable. I'll buy that! I'm ready for that cap and gown, the feeling of accomplishment and the graduation party to celebrate yet another milestone of my life. I can already see it now...

Big changes occuring here at work; my boss is retiring as of July 6 and I couldn't be more ready for the changes that will ensue upon his departure. I've been hoping for his retirement because I'm ready for more leadership and more growth, neither of which my current boss was prepared to be a part of. If I am to remain with this organization, I really need to make some adjustments so that I can feel more invested and more a part of what we do here. I am eager to see how things will turn out.

With the summer months upon me and the swimming pools a'calling, I vowed to re-commit myself to exercise and eating right. It comes and goes in spurts. I get excited and really tackle it and then I hit a slump and all I can think is, "I just don't want to think about this anymore!" I wish it was all second nature, but it's not. I don't just want to look good and feel good, I want to be the person I desire to be...the whole package. A package that smiles and laughs more than sulks and whines; a package that gets things accomplished and feels proud of each day as it comes to a close; a package that loves and is lovable.

Working on the package!!

"So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say..." -Dave Mathews

It's been a while since my last blog entry and I have so much to say.I'll start from the most recent and work backward in time.

1. I'm reading "Same Kind of Different as Me" a true story by Ron Hall and Denver Moore; this book is life-changing. I was about half-way into it, remembering several people I know that have read the book saying it was life-changing and I was thinking, "What's all the excitement about?" Well, I got back into it last night after a short hiatus and I was up until 1 a.m. reading it. The story of how two unlikely friends come together is heart-wrenching, so honest and so eye-opening. I put the book down without finishing it simply so I would have more to read tonight. I definitely recommend this book. You'll probably hear more about this later.

2. I must tattle on myself: I could not stop my motor this weekend. I was a cleaning, organizing fool and though it felt great to enjoy a really clean house Saturday night and Sunday, my body was aching and my guilty heart knew the real reason I committed myself so whole-heartedly to the cleaning...I have two papers due this week for school. If I'm doing something else constructive, I don't have to feel so bad about procrastinating on other assignments. Don't ya just love the way the mind thinks sometimes?

3. Saturday night was fantastic. We had a dinner party for six of my closest friends and their spouses. This group has been there for me and has shown Greg and I such hospitality and friendship over the years and we wanted to show our gratitude. So, Greg prepared a mouth-watering, indulgent, six-course meal that had everyone "ooohing and aaahhing." Since it was cinco de Mayo, Greg followed a Mexican theme with his own twist on things and it was fantastic! I am reminded how very lucky and spoiled a girl I am to have such a talented man as my husband. In addition, I found this dinner party so easy. These girls are three of my closest friends, the girls I spend the most time with and we talked and laughed and danced (yes, we danced around the living room as if we were the only people in the house!). As usual, we thoroughly enjoyed our time together and I just kept wondering: "Why haven't we done this before/more often?" We've got to work on that.

4. Though TV shows and pop culture aren't typically seen as elements encouraging deep thoughts, I found several things to think about after reading one entertainment newspaper article and watching one favorite TV show last week.

On "Grey's Anatomy," several dramatic twists of fate make you go "Hmm?". One main character, who has recently lost her mother, also loses her step-mother in a kind of freak medical incident. Another character is trying to discover her life's dream only to find out that dream, of having a child, is impossible. In two other story lines, the issue is marriage and relationships. One character wonders if one person can be in love simultaneously with two people, the response he receives: "I'm just trying to handle being in love with one." The bottom line? What's life all about anyway? With these seemingly terrible twists of fate and such unrest when it comes to love, what's it all about?

In an entertainment newspaper article, I read that Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis have been vacationing together. This celebrity love triangle is odd, yet it makes me wonder...do they actually have it figured out while the rest of us sit back and judge them? Would it be futile to be angry and avoid someone whom you love just because things didn't work out between you two and the other person has found love again? I'd say that anger and avoidance in this situation is, admittedly, a waste of time, but vacationing together just the three of them? I don't know if I could handle that and so maybe, somehow, these three are more evolved than the rest of us.

5. Sad news and tough decisions permeated my mind for a few days about a week or so ago. Some of those close to us lost someone very special in a bittersweet real life twist of fate. I wondered how God could have a hand in something so horrible? Then I remembered the words of my friend Babs who said, "I am not my own and none of us are our own...we are God's and He decides when we stay and when we go." (paraphrasing) Knowing this, somehow it eases the burden during times like these, but it sure doesn't help with the how and why.