"Chef"

I've been in several restaurants kitchens and it is there that I was exposed to a certain culture and a certain way of being. I was reminded of this on a phone call I had yesterday. I called a restaurant in Chicago so that I could set-up the menu for a party I am planning there for a friend of mine. I had chosen the menu items and wanted to run them by the chef, have him give his blessing on what I had chosen and then have him send me a cost estimate. So, I called the Chicago restaurant and the host answered quickly putting me through to the kitchen where the chef promptly picked up. When he answered, he said, "Hello, this is Chef." Strangely, I was not surprised to hear this man greet me as though his name is "Chef", instead of Tom, Dick or Harry, as this is the typical way in which chefs and professional cooks refer to themselves and each other. I'm assuming it is easier to get one's attention in a loud, raucous kitchen by yelling, "Chef..." this or "Chef..." that, and, more importantly, this is also a title of respect in the culinary world. Even those who have not been formally trained in the culinary arts are shown they are respected by their peers, and at times their managing chefs, by being called "Chef."

As my phone conversation with Chef went on, I was surprised to learn that I had, indeed, chosen from the menu very well-a varied mix of foods, enough for a large group and some of the house specialties-all without much experience with this sort of thing. After hearing Chef's compliments on my menu choices, I began to feel quite proud...and as we started to end the quite enjoyable call, I said, "Please tell me your first name..." In response, I could almost hear Chef's grin of embarrassment, realizing how he'd first answered the phone. He said, "I'm sorry, that's a force of habit in this industry. My name is Sonny, Chef Sonny." And the story continues...

As I came into work this morning and saw the follow-up e-mail to this phone conversation, I quickly looked for the signature on the e-mail...uh-huh, just as I suspected. The e-mail was signed "Chef Sonny."

In a world full of professions and careers, we typically only assign a title of this much utilization to certain careers, such as a doctor or someone in the military. So, I find it interesting that in the culture of professional cooks, they have chosen to be known by their career, showing much pride in their profession and one another. I think this shows a certain level of appreciation for their own skills and talent, and since self-confidence is something that is lacking in our society, I find it refreshing to know there is a profession based on skill, creativity and experience comprised of people that feel so strongly about their own worth, that they will call themselves simply by their choice of profession.

I say congratulations to Chef Sonny and all of the Chefs out there for being proud of who they are and what they do. It is something the rest of us should learn from.

Favorite excerpts from the book "The Creative Marriage"

Chapter 3: Creative Conflict
"When I am critical of [my spouse] or [my spouse] is critical of me, we are, in fact, criticizing ourselves, because we are now one. Marriage is not a relationship of dissonance, but of harmony."

Chapter 4: Creative Intimacy
"When couples are unaware of God's take on the subject [of sex], unaware of what the Bible says, it becomes a sex buster."

"Sex is a gift from God..."

Chapter 5: Creative Finances
"Pay God His 10%; Pay yourself the next 10% in savings; Enjoy the remaining 80%."

Chapter 6: Creative Priorities
Keeping Your Family Spouse-Centric Instead of Kid-Centric
"I know this book is about marriage, but in order to help [the reader] understand why a spouse-centric home is best for everyone (including the children) I want to share with you my working definition of parenting. Parenting is the process of teaching and training your children to leave."

"Children are supposed to leave and parents are supposed to stay. Thus, the marriage should be at the top of the family food chain."

"Have you thought about the fact that you will have approximately 18 years with your children, but you will have the rest of your life with your spouse? You are not benefiting anyone by focusing on the kids to the detriment of your marriage relationship"

To be honest, I feel like I've gotten the most out of this last chapter, which I haven't even finished. It talks about all of the ways you and your spouse should put one another as top priority and how the kids will respect that and appreciate it and it will help them be more well-rounded and less selfish.

More chapters to come. My husband and I are learning so much. Hope some of you will, too.

Paper Pack Rats

Hubby and I went to work yesterday on getting our home cleaned up and organized. He did such a great job, and we both feel such a huge sense of relief and accomplishment when we take care of our home and our stuff. It's strange how simply mopping the floors, re-arranging some furniture and cleaning out some files can make you feel brand new again. Luckily, Hubby and I both feel this way. We usually don't go this long between Mini Spring Cleanings, but we've both been bogged down in work, more work, social event stuff and procrastination.

In case you didn't know, Hubby and I are both chronic "important" paperwork collectors-magazines, newspaper articles, photos, old journals, new financial information-basically, he and I are Paper Pack Rats. Luckily neither of us is a Pack Rat of any other kind and we both know when to say "throw it away;" it just takes some time and deep thought before that happens. We both get connected to items with words, photos and favorite phrases, and I love that he's this way because it helps him understand me better. As of now, we're also both lucky to have our own rooms to contain our Paper Pack Rat-itis within.

Now, don't get me wrong, we don't collect the same types of paperwork. I LOVE "Real Simple" magazine and I allow the issues to pile up and then I clip various articles from them and organize them into one of two notebooks-one for recipes, the other for basic tips for living. I also do a little basic scrapbooking here and there, and I love keeping my own photos organized. So, I'm constantly buying prints from various events in my life and keeping those photos organized chronologically in photo albums. Over the summer, while I was out of school, I decided some of my older albums needed refurbishing, so I bought new albums and moved the photos from the old to the new, doing some re-organization along the way. It was a wonderful project as the best part of having a photo fetish is reminiscing over all the old memories. Working on a friend's scrapbook is fulfilling, as well, because you know that it's something they might not ever do for themselves, but it will be something they will look at over and over again, remembering a special time in their lives.

Hubby, on the other hand, has stacks and stacks of old food magazines, and when I say old, I mean like from the '90s. For a while, I thought these periodicals were merely a traveling buddy that he took with him from place to place, kind of like a fancy, paper security blanket, but then I realized that he had a system. He was marking the recipes and ideas he liked within the magazines and then would go back, pull those pages out and organize them. (Does this sound familiar???!!! I have found my match!!!) Hubby is also great with organizing our bills, financial paperwork and general household papers of importance. He also has a great arsenal of office supplies-nice, new tablets, Post-its galore in every color, envelopes big and small, pens and pencils-it's a haven for those who drool over such nice, new, neat office supply things, like I do.

We just enjoy being neat and tidy, organized and, most of all, in control of our memories and paper madness when we feel like most everything else is out of control. We joke all of the time that we will be like that character in "A Beautiful Mind" with all of our clippings taking over our home. I guess that thought, though funny at first, is also a little scary, so we take days like yesterday to go through our paperwork and make sure our quirk doesn't become our burden.

So, here's to finding your perfect match, throwing out the burdens, doing a little re-arranging and feeling brand new again....together.

I have so much to share from the book "The Creative Marriage" as I am about 70 pages into it, at about chapter five, I believe. It is such a great guide. I forgot to bring the book to work to quote directly from it, but I'll be sure to blog about it very soon.

September Bear

On another note, this has been a long and "bearish" week (See miaspeaks.blogspot.com) for me. Every day when I have gotten home from work, I have felt beat down, anxious and fatigued. Consequently, exercise didn't enter into the equation, I ate anything and everything I desired, both of which, in turn, caused me to sleep poorly. Why do we do this to ourselves? We know what makes us feel bad on the inside and the outside, but we do it anyway, making what is already a rough time much worse. Hmmm...human behavior, very interesting.Well, since I've now had my little "confession" here, I have to commit to turning this behavior around now. I just realized last night that September is quickly slipping away and I have two very important weddings and related celebrations in two and a half weeks! I had planned to be feeling my very best, looking my very best for these events, so it is time to get on that!!!

A Fence

In other news, my husband and I have decided to make a very large purchase...not a car, or a house, not a TV or another electronic device, but a new six foot, board on board, cedar fence with decorative caps and two decorative doors. Funny how you can get so excited about something as an adult and a homeowner that you wouldn't even spend two moments thinking about as a young person. This fence is a symbol of so much more to me than wood and hinges and a protected yard. This fence is a symbol of a beautiful place for me and my family to sit outdoors, sipping lemonade, or a place for me to sit alone, enjoying the light breeze while reading a good book. It symbolizes peace of mind for us and protection for our precotious dogs that have been exiting the yard lately to roam the neighborhood. It also symbolizes the beginning of what will be a place of squeals and giggles, excited playfulness of those little ones to come. Yes, it is a fence, but for me it is so much more.

Hobbies

My husband tells me that one's hobbies should hold some sort of significance, for example, playing a sport or doing an activity which gets the body going is a hobby; being creative through art, skill or action can be a hobby.

Watching TV is not a hobby. Playing video games is not a hobby. Collecting items purely for your own enjoyment is not a hobby.

Now this is purely his opinion, so don't take offense. I've learned this simply through listening to his assessments of my own so-called hobbies:

scrapbooking (hobby), shopping (not a hobby),

dance classes (hobby), wine-tasting (not a hobby),

reading novels (hobby), collecting Limited Edition Barbie dolls (not a hobby),

yoga (hobby), traveling (not a hobby).

Well, the dictionary says something contrary to my husband's definition of a "hobby."

hob*by (noun)
1. an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.

2. to concern oneself excessively with a favorite notion or activity.

To me, this means a hobby is whatever you would like it to be, whatever interests you.

So, I am going to get on eBay and look for my latest hobby...an old time, super fun Nintendo. Not to worry, this new hobby won't hinder me from my other "hobbies": scrapbooking, shopping, dance classes, wine-tasting, reading novels, collecting Limited Edition Barbie dolls (a family tradition, by the way), yoga and traveling. I'll just add it to the pile of all my other hobbies and "not-so-hobby" hobbies.

I am super excited about the fall line-up of TV shows this year.
In a perfect world, I could get everything done for work, school and play and still be able to watch the following shows each week, starting this fall:

Oprah
Cold Case
Without a Trace
The Bachelor Rome
Studio 60 (NEW!)
Law & Order: SVU
Boston Legal
King of Queens
Grey's Anatomy
Six Degrees (NEW!)
Law & Order
20/20

I know I shouldn't be so "into" TV, but I get excited by the legal/police dramas, and the shows that make me laugh (King of Queens) and cry (Grey's Anatomy). I also enjoy certain shows that my husband and I can watch together (American Idol/Rock Star), and the shows that friends and I can chat about, sharing the fact of how much we enjoy them in common (most of the above). I guess TIVO will have to work overtime this season as "having the time" becomes "making the time" in the busiest time of our lives.

Happy TV Watching!!!

Rock and Roll Dramatics

I know I'm a week behind because I TIVO Rock Star Supernova and don't ever watch it live, but I have to comment on the fact that Storm Large was kicked off the show. She is so awesome and so much better than Dilana, who is now one of my least favorites. Storm has so much more talent than Lukas OR Magni. I really wanted to see Storm and Toby go head to head as they are my F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E-S!! I am so disappointed. If Toby doesn't win this, I am not watching the show next season. (OK, that's a bit dramatic, but it's a rock and roll show, if that's not drama, I don't know what is. I'm just living in the genre.)

As a side note, how about Tommy Lee continuing to tour with Motley Crew and Aerosmith while he's taping this show?! I would give my left arm to see that concert!!! (Again with the rock and roll drama, can't help myself!)

Familial Drama

"When drama is familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic."

Shhh...don't tell anyone, but I think it's beginning to look a lot like FALL!!

The temperature dropped from 105 to 86 (huge change for Dallas, Texas!!!) and the wind is blowing and I am back out in the 'hood for my daily walks. I can't wait to pack away my swimsuits, shorts and tank tops and replace them with my wool pants and sweaters. I am sad about putting away my big white purse, but I can't wait to carry my big black bag or my medium-sized brown and taupe bag. I am a brown-wearing fanatic, so fall suits me just fine!!

But, Shhh...don't tell anyone, it just may not last.

The Creative Marriage

(One in a many series)

I am reading a book written by my pastor, Ed Young, Jr., and his wife, Lisa, called "The Creative Marriage." The creative marriage talks about "the art of keeping your love alive" and is a really good, solid guide to remembering your vows and how important it is to communicate, among other things, to enjoy a happy, fulfilling relationship with your spouse. I want to share a little bit of what I learned Wednesday night after reading the first chapter-something I REALLY needed to get on board with:

"Many of us are obsessed with what our spouse is doing, or is not doing, or should be doing, that we forget to think about what we need to change in our own lives. Allow God to work in your heart and mind to help you discover how to make your marriage more vibrant, more alive, and more creative than ever before."

I share this, and will share other thoughts as I go along with this reading, learning journey, because it's a small way to help me commit to these teachings and behaviors. Writing it out and reacting to it holds me accountable and maybe, in some cases, it will help those who visit the blog.

Though this book speaks specifically about marriage, these ideas can be applied to other relationships, as well. Think about a friendship that isn't as fulfilling as you would like it to be. Is it unfulfilling because of the other person, or can you look at yourself and see something that may need to change to make you a better friend? An interesting way to look at things, I think. We are all so quick to judge and blame other when the going gets tough, and we can just as easily point that finger back at ourselves.

Maybe it's the cooler breeze that welcomed me into the office this morning, or the sun that is just now peaking its head up and brightening the day, maybe it's just the fact that I was up before the sun when things were still quiet and dark, but I feel different today.

Lately, I have been having an early life crisis. Crisis is a harsh word for it as I don't feel quite that out of sorts, but I do feel as though I just don't know anything. I don't know why or how or what; I am downright confused about life. I know what people tell me, what I hear and what I read and see, but I don't know exactly why I am feeling this way, how it happened or what is to come. There's no consistency in my thoughts, really the only thing I know for sure is that I'm unsure. It has been months and months of a Pity Party and I'm the only one invited.

Today, I feel a sense of clarity. I've felt lost in a sea of: who am I? why am I? what am I? how am I? Today, I feel more focused and better than I have in a while. No more grumpiness, sour attitude or fatigue. Today, I feel a direction and a path and I want to follow it. The Pity Party for One is over-the lights are up, the floor is sticky, the head is swirling and the cab's waiting outside to take me home safely. Home, where the questions stop and the answers begin. Home, where you may not have understanding, but you are understood. Home within myself, home with those I love and who love me. The Pity Party for One is over, time to send the "thank you's," put away the memories and move on to the next soiree-a Hurray for Me Soiree.

I was feeling under the weather and really busy all last week and didn't blog...not once. After receiving a little nudge from my mother, I am back.

A few highlights from last week:
-A Claritin high that was not so good for sleep Sunday-Monday.
-A much-needed, sleep-filled day off from work Tuesday, followed by school that evening.
-Beginning and finishing "The Da Vinci Code." I now see what the hype is all about and it has raised a few really good questions, but, it's all fiction to me.
-A FABULOUS, DECADENT party at a local boutique where my husband was caterer. Yummy treats, refreshing drinks, clothing and accessories to die for.
-My husband turned 34. He said it was the best birthday he'd had in a long time...Rollingstones, Bob Marley, cold Budweiser, a Bonnie Blue Burger, best friends and a new electric drumset-What else could a guy want?
-Pool time and dinner with friends on Friday.
-Shopping and lunch with my friend, Nicole, Saturday.
-The rest of the weekend spent with family-sister, nieces, nephew, soon-to-be brother-in-law and his kids, brother and sister-in-law.
-Welcoming Hubby home last night from his time away working at the Ranch.

That, in a nutshell, was my week beginning last Monday until yesterday.

I am now in mourning as is always the case when I finish a really good book. As previously mentioned, I became enthralled with "The Da Vinci Code," couldn't put it down for days and when it got down to the last few pages, I put it down repeatedly so that I would not finish it too quickly. Now, I mourn for that attachment, which is now lost, and I must move on to the next attachment..."Angels and Demons" by the same author maybe? We shall see.