A few things...

-Well, it's been a whirlwind few days at the new job. I am enjoying it and learning a lot and feeling more and more like this was the best decision.

-My husband has "knocked it out of the park", making me so proud and excited for him. He was the chef/caterer for a high profile wedding held over three days out of town this past weekend. From what he has said and from the reviews of those in attendance, it was a fabulous weekend of wonderful cuisine to rave about!! I can't wait to see what sort of opportunities this exciting event may open up for him.

-I am headed to visit my grandparents and my mom this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the long weekend to reflect on my new job and to share a lot of love and hugs with my grandparents. I haven't been to see them since my grandfather's very crucial, very successful surgery, and I'm happy to report that he's getting better every day, he just wants his Claire there to give him some love!! I'm on my way, Gege.

-Having additional work done on the house, which is good, but always a bit stressful. Greg and I are dealing with it very well and I am happy to let him handle it. He's great about balancing a good deal with good workmanship.

-I have begun school and I'm taking two really interesting courses--speech & body language and the interpretation of dreams. Hope I can keep my head above water with the new job and the full schedule at school!!

That's the report for now.

I can't even begin to express my complete and utter joy over being back on the SMU campus as a student AND a staff member!! Who would've ever guessed this would be where my path would lead me? I am seriously on Cloud Nine and I haven't felt this excited and this happy in a long time--particularly about work. Funny thing is, you almost don't realize how unhappy you are with things until something else shows you how good it can be elsewhere.

Almost as a symbol for how things are for me right now, I have a nice, new office with a bright window overlooking the bustling campus very near to my freshman dorm and the student center (aahhh...the memories!), I have new co-workers that I am extremely excited to get to know better and who have made me feel more than welcome here and I feel so proud of myself, which probably sounds a bit strange, but it's really the only way I have to describe this feeling--pride and joy.

All is good with the world today!!!

A Note on My Reluctance

There are few things in life that truly scare me. Fear is not something I walk around with each day and not something I give power to, if I can help it. As my Mother has always taught me, "If you're doing/not doing something because of fear, you are doing it/not doing it for the wrong reasons. Nothing good comes from a place of fear."

Well, I may not have a lot of fears in my life, but the ones I do have are very serious. One of those fears has been on the tip of my tongue, in the sharpest corner of my mind and has permeated my dreams lately. That fear has caused me to be reluctant in writing about something that has been severely weighing on my mind. Until I had some resolution, I couldn't bear to think much about it, much less blog about it.

That fear is losing my grandparents.

Last Monday, my first love underwent cardiac bypass surgery. When I heard that this surgery was going to be necessary, I almost lost my breath and I definitely lost my grasp. My grandfather is an active, spirited 81 years old. Some of his favorite past times are working in the yard, home improvements and building things, so you can imagine when he began having severe chest pains that he was not happy about it. He wanted relief, no matter what. So, when the doctor said that major open-heart surgery was necessary, the Lord allowed my grandfather to forget the pain and anguish of his first by-pass surgery performed more than 15 years ago, and he said without a doubt, "Sign me up!" It's that attitude and gumption for life that I love about both of my grandparents. But I was scared...

You see, there's just something about me and my grandparents, and I like to think it's unique to us three, so we'll just pretend that it is. My grandparents are like no other two people I've ever met, both in who they are to the world and who they are to me. I know I am blessed to have two grandparents around to know and love, but I am even more blessed to have these grandparents.

My grandfather, Gege as I call him, is the first man I ever fell in love with. That kind of love that no matter what, he can never do any wrong. He is a father, grandfather, friend, confidante, teddy bear, rock, comedian, perfectionist, teacher and he means the world to me. Who wouldn't love a man who has a sparkle in his eye, an intelligent word to say, an unwavering faith, a funny spark of humor, is good-looking and loves you so much you can feel it every time you're around him?!? I still get that "Gege's little girl" feeling that I've had since birth when I'm around him, and that is just priceless. He is a true gift...

So, you see, I have been reluctant about saying anything about his surgery until I knew for sure my Gege would be alright. I only told a few people about this so that they could pray and hope and wish with me for his healthy recovery. Now, I can shout from the rooftops, "Fifteen more years with my Gege!!!!" He's all mine.

No more fear or reluctance, just love and gratitude and "hallelujah!"

I love you, Gege, more than I could ever express, more than you can ever know. Thank you for being the strength and courage and faith that I have always depended on. Thank you for fighting for me having my Gege for another 15 years. Thank you to the doctors and nurses at St. Luke's Hospital in Houston for allowing me more time with my first love.

"There are two good things in life; freedom of thought and freedom of action."
— William Somerset Maugham

I must agree with Mr. Somerset Maugham. In the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of enjoying much freedom...the freedom to dream about what could be ahead for me in my career, the freedom to make the decision to stay or to go, the freedom to accept a new job and resign from the old one. And I jumped on that freedom, grabbed it around the neck, flung it around in raw, crazy emotion and then hugged it tightly to myself so as to make it a part of my being.

On Monday I accepted a job offer from Southern Methodist University, my alma mater. The place that seemed like only a lofty aspiration when I was 17 looking for the right college. Fortunately, SMU became a great reality that brings me so much joy to remember and so much happiness even now as a graduate student. I have been given the chance to work for a place I have so much passion about, a place that, in many ways, has saved my life. I will be stepping out of doing communications work, as I do now, and into fundraising for the Cox School of Business at SMU. The Cox School is a Top Ten business school and is very well-respected in Dallas, in Texas and in the U.S. This is a new, exciting, challenging opportunity, and I can't wait to get started.

It feels very freeing to have sought this opportunity and had the interest in me returned from SMU ten-fold. As has been the case in so many ways in my life thus far, this great thing happened at just the right time and for all the right reasons. I feel so blessed.

Freedom - we may think we have it because there are no visible chains and no obvious mental control, but freedom is something we feel in our hearts. I know because today my heart soars unbound and overjoyed!!