From my Mother (and Maya) on Christmas

This year I spent the majority of my Christmas with my Mother. Christmas Eve we attended candlelight service, sang carols and giggled at two joyous babies sitting near us. Christmas Eve evening we spent with friends enjoying laughter and good cheer, and Christmas Day we spent with the carousing Carman family.

But two of the most special things about this Christmas were gifts, which wouldn't typically be the case as I am more of a memories made person - relishing in the moments that make Christmas special as opposed to being gift-obsessed.

I received a beautiful, special blue lapis, diamond and silver blueberry charm and bracelet, which is special between my Mother and I in reference to the new Little One we are expecting, and Maya Angelou's book "Letter to My Daughter." I wear the former every day with pride and expectation and I read the latter in a matter of hours this past Monday night. It's a wonderful book with many great lessons inside. Here are some of my favorite Maya passages that I know my Mia also appreciates:

"The word philanthropy was taken from the two Greek words, philo - lover of; and anthro - mankind. So, philanthropists are lovers of humanity ...I learned that I could be a giver by simply bringing a smile to another person. The ensuing years have taught me that a kind word, a vote of support is a charitable gift."

"When I find myself filling with rage over the loss of a beloved, I try as soon as possible to remember that my concerns and questions should be focused on what I learned or what I have yet to learn from my departed love. What legacy was left which can help me in the art of living a good life?

Did I learn to be kinder,

To be more patient,

And more generous,

More loving,

More ready to laugh,

And more easy to accept honest tears?

If I accept those legacies of my departed beloveds, I am able to say, Thank You to them for their love and Thank You to God for thier lives."

"It seems to me that becoming a Christian is a lifelong endeavor. I believe that is also true for one wanting to become a Buddhist, or a Muslim, a Jew, Jainist, or a Taoist. The persons striving to live their religious beliefs know that the idyllic condition cannot be arrived at and held on to eternally. It is in the search itself that one finds the ecstasy.

Now that the word is pretty much out, I feel comfortable finally writing a blog about my pregnancy. I am eleven weeks and one day today and I'm feeling less nausea and more energy than in the past few weeks prior. What a blessing. I mean this is a time when all you want to do is be happy and excited, but you get pulled down by feeling yucky. I'm glad I'm doing better and I hope that only continues as I head into week twelve.

Aside from some upset stomach and sleepiness, I am ecstatic over the life growing inside of me. I am enamored with how much happens each week and how much the baby grows and all of the transformations going on. If one didn't believe in God before, well, there's no denying it when you understand and experience the miracle of pregnancy. Of course I'm nervous and I take one day at a time as I know anything can happen and I have no control (I repeat, "I have no control..."), but the overwhelming feeling is happiness and a feeling of blessing. I am so excited to be a Mother, and I can't wait for the adventure.

When you're facing two days filled with death and despair, there's only one thing to turn to...music. Some favorites I dedicate to my loving Husband, the one who hears the music, from me, the one who understands its meaning.

"Girl" The Beatles

Is there anybody going to listen to my story

All about the girl who came to stay?

She's the kind of girl you want so muchIt makes you sorry

Still you don't regret a single day.

Ah girl! Ffff...Girl!

When I think of all the times I've tried SO HARD to leave her

She will turn to me and start to cry;

And she promises the earth to me

And I believe her

After all this time I don't know why.

Ah, girl! Ffff...Girl!S

he's the kind of girl who puts you down

When friends are there, you feel a fool.

When you say she's looking good

She acts as if it's understood.

She's cool, ooh, ooh, ooh,

Girl! Ffff...Girl!

Was she told when she was young that pain

Would lead to pleasure?

Did she understand it when they said

That a man must break his back to earn

His day of leisure?

Will she still believe it when he's dead?

Ah girl!Ffff...Girl!

"Just the Way You Are" Billy Joel

Don't go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

I would not leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times,

I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are.

Don't go trying some new fashion

Don't change the color of your hair

You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care.

I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew.

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart.

I couldn't love you any better

I love you just the way you are.

"The Sun is Shining" Bob Marley and the Wailers

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah

Make you wanna move your dancing feet now

To the rescue, here I am

Want you to know, yall, can you understand?

When the mornin gather the rainbow, yeah, yeah

Want you to know, I'm a rainbow too now

To the rescue, here I am

Want you to know, yall, can you, can you, can you understand?

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet now

Make you wanna move your dancing feet, yeah

But to the rescue, here I am

Want you to know just if you can, here I stand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Can you understand me now, baby?

Do you believe me?

"America" Simon and Garfunkel

Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together

I've got some real estate here in my bag

So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies

And we walked off to look for America

Kathy, I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh

Michigan seems like a dream to me now

It took me four days to hitch-hike from Saginaw

Ive gone to look for America

Laughing on the bus

Playing games with the faces

She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy

I said be careful his bowtie is really a camera

Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat

We smoked the last one an hour ago

So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine

And the moon rose over an open field

Kathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping

I'm empty and aching and I dont know why

Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike

They've all gone to look for America

All gone to look for America

All gone to look for America.

I'm thinking of turkey, dressing (I don't eat that stuffing inside the turkey, I eat dressing!!), sweet potatoes with melted marshmallows on top, green beans, cranberry sauce, sweet tea and more pie than I can ever eat.

I'm thinking of family. People I haven't seen in a long time whom I will have the pleasure of seeing tomorrow on Thanksgiving. I'm also excited to spend time with my Grandparents, two people I thank God for every morning when I wake-up and every night before I go to sleep.

I'm thinking of all the multitude of things in my life I am thankful for, but at the moment I am focusing on the gratitude I have for my Mother. You see, my Mother is my best friend. I know friends of mine can stay on the phone for hours with girlfriends. I can do that, too, but when I want to chat or have a good, in-depth conversation I always call my Mom. We talk about everything and nothing. We laugh, we have healthy disagreements and we solve the world's problems. Our relationship has grown and blossomed so much since I was a girl. My Mom is strong and sassy, delicate and sweet, larger than life and introverted all at once. She is an enigma that I'm constantly learning about and from. We hold each other accountable and do our best never to lie to one another. I know it's not always the case that girls and their mothers, especially only children and single mothers, should move through all that teenage angst and parental resentment to be truly good friends, be that's what has happened with me and my Mom. I am so grateful for that and I am so blessed to have a best friend who's known me my whole life, knows just about everything about me and loves me unconditionally. I love you, Mom. Thank you for being you and being there for me always.

We've had a lot of ups and downs recently. With my Father-in-law in the hospital not doing so well one day and seeming to be headed for recovery another, it's been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. A couple of lessons I am learning along the way:

If you love your family and those who will be in the position to care for you should something tragic happen to your health, put down in writing exactly what your wishes are for you care and for what you would like to happen after you die. This isn't a fun activity, especially for those of us who are young and believe these are things better left for the future, but you have to look at it as a gift you are giving those who love you. Do you really want your husband or wife, daughter or son, mother or father to have to decide whether to put you on life support, bury you or have you cremated? In the midst of sadness and despair, having to make such decisions is incredibly unfair and cruel.

Never underestimate the power of the human body and medical science. John O'Neill, my Father-in-law, has faced death more times than I can count and that's just this last month. He was also in a terrible care accident several years ago when none of us thought he would make it. Though I tend to think the Nine Lives of the O'Neill men is something to investigate, I also believe having his crazy family around him all the time and knowing he is loved, has made a huge difference in his fight. Not to mention the men and women of Harris Methodist H-E-B Hospital who are fighting for John medically. Never give up, never give in...if the fight is worth fighting for and your life and those you love are worth living for...never give up.

Finally, and this is the most impactful thing for me personally through all of this, no matter what the relationship has been or what it has lacked, when you face the reality of losing a parent, your heart breaks. This person who gave you life is in pain, is nearing the end and all you think about are the "what ifs" and the "what could have beens." You want to inject them with hope for the future by telling them of all the things you can do together, how things can be different, but ultimately you can't take away the illness and the feeling of uncertainty that permeates this time. All I can recommend from living this with my Husband over the past few weeks is to wrap your arms around your parents, tell them you love them and be there for them even if they haven't always been there for you.

Self-Congratulation

Monday evening I pulled into my garage at home and heard the thump-thump-thump of the bass as my Husband's music made its way through the walls from the kitchen where our computer is set-up with Bose speakers. I jokingly told my Mother over the phone that my Husband was at it again...listening to his music so loud that the whole neighborhood can hear. She laughed and we shared yet another moment where we knew what they say is true: you do marry someone very much like your Parent. I said 'good-bye' to Mom and went on into the house, but as I reached the hallway and the music became clearer, I realized this was not the typical song-a-thon my Husband loves to host on his Mondays off from work. He was a part of the music. I rounded the corner and realized Hubby had purchased yet another integral piece of his "At Home Band." With a bass guiter (left-handed, of course) and an amp along with Eric Clapton and his band as back-up, Greg was strumming along to "Cocaine." When he looked up and saw me, he smiled that big, proud smile and looked so happy with himself. He looked about 12 years old and had a mischievious grin on his freckled face. Another toy for my hard-working boy...

One thing my Husband and I have in common is the ability to treat ourselves when we've worked hard and earned such a treat. Greg has done several catering gigs in the last couple of weeks, including a huge engagement party that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. He desserved to treat himself for his hard work. I tend to treat myself with luxurious mind and body treatments like manicures and pedicures and massage, or something new for the wardrobe, but I treat myself all the same. I really like this aspect of me and my Husband's personalities - the idea that we are good enough and deserve to celebrate our accomplishments.

So, as I sat and listened to Greg later on rubbing blisters on his already tired fingers strumming to Sammy Davis, Jr's "Mr. Bojangles," I realized he was serranading himself. He was playing a tune of appreciation for his talent and skill and strength to do all of the things he does so well each and every day. He is allowing his talent and skill as a chef to breathe life into his passion for music. Knowing that, his strumming, even with the occasional imperfections, sounds just Heavenly to me.

Election Mania: Salmon & Women

After several conversations with people I know, too many ads on TV to count, countless articles read in print and on-line...the Election is finally here!!

I'm not going to use my blog as a place for my personal political banter, because I'm as fed up with all the talk as the next person, but I will speak of what might be one of the best episodes of Boston Legal I've ever watched. It was on last night and the two main characters, Allen Shore and Denny Crane, were arguing over who they were voting for, particularly whom Denny was voting for. The show got hilarious when the men's raised voices came to blows at each other...from each of their paint ball guns right there in the law offices! I laughed out loud, something I don't do often enough when watching TV.

But before the arguing and the shooting began, there was an interesting and comical conversation between Allen and Denny where Allen asked Denny to list only two reasons why he was voting for McCain. Denny's two reasons came down to two words: Salmon & Women. If you didn't see the show, you won't get it, but boy was that episode funny. And the best part of all? By the end of the show, after they showed a montage of all of the characters voting, Denny had come to his senses and admitted he didn't vote for McCain after all, but voted for "the other guy."

To all those who voted, I applaud you for taking part in one of the most important civic duties ever bestowed upon on us, particularly those of us of the "minority" groups. And to the President-Elect of the United States of America, I wish you patience, peace in times of unrest and hope that the arms of God be around you in the coming years.

I didn't spend any money this weekend. Yes, Hubby and I ate dinner out and went to Home Depot, but I didn't spend any money on anything else. I also spent a lot of time at home - reading, cleaning, watching TV, spending time with my girlfriend who came to visit, spending time with my doggies and my Husband. I am in a new frame of mind - simplicity and relaxation.

I have also hit the "unsubscribe" button on many of the e-mails I get regularly. I just don't want all that crap loading up my e-mail Inbox. I will keep only the ones that I have used in the past couple of months, which is only a small number. Again, why clutter up my Inbox if I want to de-clutter my life?

So Much, So Much

From Usher and The Mansion in Atlanta...

to family, blessings and the excitement of New York...

to the history and beauty of Washington, D.C....

to friendship, comfort and joy in Alexandria...

to the pomp and circumstance of the Navy football experience in Annapolis, Maryland...

it has been a memorable, wonderful, fun-filled few weeks.

I could say it all started in Hot-lanta, but it really began in the Alamo City (San Antonio) where I went for work earlier in the month. There I was surprised to find areas of awesome shopping, ate some great food and made some new friends.

Atlanta followed in my time of travel. I've been there one other time for work and enjoyed it, but this time was a whole new experience. We stayed at The Mansion on Peachtree (http://www.mansiononpeachtree.com/) where the word luxury is an understatement when describing this hotel. I was greeted upon my arrival by Robert, my own private butler who was there purely to keep me happy. (OK, he was assigned to several other hotel rooms, but it felt like he was there just for me!) The decor, the service, the bedding, the bathroom...all were decadent and wonderful. I felt right at home and then I discovered a little piece of home right there in my Atlanta hotel room - my famous chef husband was featured in one of Atlanta's hottest magazines!! (http://www.modernluxury.com/ Click on Magazines / Atlanta / View Digital Magazine / See the Mag with the yellow dressed model on the cover.) How cool was that!? And just went I thought my trip couldn't get any better, my colleague, Mandi, and I ran right into Usher at the hotel. He was there celebrating his birthday with a swank party at the Mansion. Nice!!

Though it was sad for me to leave Hot-lanta, I was ready to get back and begin my next adventure - a New York, D.C., Virginia, Maryland sweep. Hubby and I planned a personal vacation as part of my work trip to New York and we had a great time. We spent time with our new nephew, Oscar O'Neill, and two of our favorite people - niece, Davan, and nephew, Jake. Not to mention Greg's Mom, Step-father, Sister, Brother and their significant others and the cousins and aunts. All awesome people. And what a great thing to celebrate with everyone - an engagement! Greg's brother, John, and his girlfriend, Lisa, are recently engaged. Congratulations!!

Part of this trip included yet another visit to the lap of luxury as we stayed at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in New York at Central Park South. The rooms were exquisite and the service was crazy, but they didn't offer private butlers. The Ritz might have to work on that...

I think I most enjoyed just walking the streets like I knew what I was doing. Having been in New York City several times and feeling intimidated by all the people and all the honking and seeming aggression, this trip I didn't feel that way at all. I got right out there and made my way through and it felt great. One particularly nice day was spent with my Mother-in-law, Nancy. We had a great lunch followed up by a cappuccino, which is one of my new favorite things, and then walked the streets - 5th Avenue, Madison Avenue. Then I came upon one of those old, amazing churches that come out of nowhere in New York among skyscrapers and the chicest boutiques. I felt suddenly that I had to go in. As I walked up to the church I noticed it was St. Patrick's Cathedral. I walked in and asked Nancy about all of the candles burning around the church and she said you can light a candle and say a prayer or ask for a blessing. So I did. The light of my prayer was lit along with that of many others who'd come from near and far to this place. The beauty of that moment and that place stays with me. I will never forget it.

In the final day of our time in New York, Greg and I went into Times Square, with the other tens of thousands who were there, and were filled with the energy of the lights and music and people. New York always has a way of making you feel like it's a small world after all and was that ever true on this night. We head into Carmine's to meet the family for dinner and who did we run into at the one restaurant? Mike Modano and Darryl Ray. If anyone knows Dallas Stars hockey, you know who these guys are. There they were sitting at Carmine's in Times Square in New York - what are the odds?! Greg and I went over to say 'hello' and felt a bit sheepish since it's obvious we're big fans. Mike and Darryl, both of which my husband knows, were very nice and agreed that it was a cool coincidence. We capped off the trip with a wonderful meal with the family and sadly said 'good-bye' to New York the next afternoon.

As sad as it was to leave Greg at the airport following our awesome time in New York, I was equally as excited to see some of my dearest friends while in D.C./Virginia. Casey and John are two of the truest, best people you will ever find. They are honest and kind and such great hosts to anyone who visits them. John's thoughtful dinners and wine selections and Casey's consummate ability to make me feel at home, just made my stay such a delight. To top it off, Casey took me sailing for the very first time! Two hours on a sailboat on the Potomac River with snacks and a good friend...what a nice afternoon. The trip was rounded out by our visit to Annapolis, Maryland, the site of the Naval Academy. The tradition and pride felt in that town and at the Navy game versus SMU was tangible, even in the rain and wind. I was mesmerized by the commitment of the men and women in uniform in these conditions to continually enter the field and perform their push-ups each time Navy got a touch-down. Not to mention the exhilaration of the fly over by the fighter jets and the gun fire periodically throughout the game; I'm convinced that the uniforms, jet places and gun fire are what intimidated the Mustangs into a frightful loss to Navy.

I think one of my favorite things about this trip was the enjoyment I got from driving around Virginia and D.C. and Maryland all alone. I was nervous about it at first, but soon just sat back and enjoyed the scenery. It was such a good trip and I will always remember it as being a very special time.

So, after my travels, I returned home with so many new memories and another year of marriage under my belt. (October 25 was our 5-year anniversary!!) Now it's time to focus on the remainder of 2008, enjoy the holidays and the chilly weather, and prepare for all of the joy and happiness that is promised for 2009. Thanks to all who made my October one of the best times of my life.

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." — Allan K. Chalmers

I quite agree with this quote by Mr. Chalmers. I find that though my emotions are high lately, I am happier than I have ever been. Or at least I am more aware of my happiness than ever before.

My happiness springs from doing something day in and day out that is fulfilling and challenging all while continuing to search for ways to do more particularly in efforts to contribute to those around me.

I am happy because I have much love in my life - love for myself, my family and friends, my animals, my country, my world, my God and my existence.

As for hope, well, sometimes I can get confused by hope that leads to disappointment, but even in disappointment I know the hope will return and ultimately lead to happiness one way or the other.

What you do, what you love and what you hope for - all of this is what makes us who we are and all of these things in my life make me a very happy girl.

Taking A Stand

I did something this week that took very little effort and very little time, but could be a part of making a very big impact. I wrote my Texas Senators and asked them to pass Senate Bill 1738 - the PROTECT Our Children Act. Tons of children are involved in some form of molestation and abuse at the hands of sick individuals who then use the Internet to publicize their evil acts. The Internet has become both a tool and a weapon in the world of child pornography. A tool because broadcasting these terrible acts gives law enforcements the ability to see the crime, have record of it and then find the persons responsible. But as it stands now, the search and arrest of these criminals is either not top priority or not well-funded. With more resources and more government pressure, law enforcement will find and apprehend more and more of these pedophiles. This Bill would ensure those resources are available and mandate important guidelines, putting the protection of children as top priority.

More on Senate Bill 1738:

-Authorize more than $320 million spent over the next five years in desperately needed funding for law enforcement to investigate child exploitation.
-Mandate that child rescue be a top priority for law enforcement receiving federal funding.
-Allocate funds for high-tech computer software that can track down Internet predators.

There are certain inequalities and injustices that I personally take a strong and worthy stand for. I feel very strongly about this issue and the difference this Senate Bill can make. I ask anyone who may be reading this to act now! Your U.S. senators will be voting on the bill soon, so it is crucial you contact them immediately. Go to www.senate.gov to find contact information for the senators in your state. Search for your senator by name or state by clicking on the arrow from either dropdown menu. Contact information is provided here. To send an e-mail, click on "Web Form" below his or her name, and e-mail your letter to make a difference! Or type up a letter that includes Senate Bill 1738 as what you are urging them to support and send it to the address listed on this site.

If our children's safety and emotional state is not a top priority, I shudder to think what is.

As I watch the images of the destruction caused by Hurricane Ike in Galveston and Houston, I am reminded how fragile our surroundings are. Gone in a flash, we can lose everything we've worked so hard for or that we've been given with such love. It's sad that humans place so much importance on the material, but it doesn't take much for us to be reminded how very little all of that stuff counts when you have your life and the lives of those who truly make your life mean something. In the words of my best friend from high school who lives in Houston and has a little girl, is nine months pregnant and has a beautiful home, "It's just a couple of inches of water in the house. No big deal at all." And she means it, whether a few inches of water or complete demolition, it's no big deal at all. When you have the life of your child and your unborn baby to think about, lamps and beds and trinkets don't seem to matter so much in these situations. On the other side of things is the beautiful nature of human kind that brings out the very best in people when such devastation occurs. My Mother has made many new friends along this journey and discovered the pure gold that is at the heart of so many of her old friends. Being a single woman in the complete darkness of night when a storm has swept through your city can be quite frightening, but not once has she been concerned. Not when one of her windows broke out completely, not when she had to single-handedly remove a large tree from the hood of her car to move it away from rising water, not when it was pretty apparent that food and water supplies would dwindle quickly before the electricity would be restored. Instead of fear, she was surrounded by strength - strength of self and the comfort of neighbors, people who seem to realize it takes a village to keep one another strong in times of need. Though terrible destruction is never welcome, I'm sure we can all appreciate the reminders it brings of appreciation for one another above all else.

Toast of the Day

On my way in to work this morning I re-lived a childhood memory, which involved my Mother's constant insistence that I eat breakfast. I remember those very rough early mornings when I had to go to school and she would call into my room for me to get up. I always asked for "one more minute" and she, being smarter than me, had probably already accounted for that trick of mine when first waking me so she would reply, "alright, one more minute." After doing this about two or three times, Mom would come in and ensure I was up. Her next step would be to prepare some sort of breakfast for me. Since I'd be half-asleep and not in any mood to eat, my Mom would try to woo me with cheese toast (love cheese!) or cinnamon, sugar toast. No matter my resistance, she would tell me to take it with me in the car and just try to eat it. Of course, after a few short minutes into the car ride, I'd bite into my toast of the day and finish it right up.

As I hastily prepared two slices of raisin toast for my breakfast this morning and ate them in the car as I drove to work, I thought of the good 'ole days when Mom would have to beg me to eat my toast of the day. Now if I don't get my breakfast, as my Husband can attest to, I am not a happy camper. As I have grown to adulthood - getting myself out of bed, dressed and ready for the day with a smile on my face - I think to myself, "Man would I love to have Mom's toast of the day made just for me with so much love and concern for my empty morning tummy." It is these loving, motherly moments that seem to make me smile these days. Thanks, Mom!

So much to say...

*My niece started high school last week and she has just moved into a new area where she knows no one. High school was scary enough without having not one friend to speak to.

*While in Houston last week I enjoyed some triumphs and a defeat. Amidst some good work and new connections with alumni, the SMU Mustangs got crushed by the Rice Owls and I was immensely disappointed, but I will be back in the saddle again for this Saturday's game because I have hope that we'll redeem ourselves.

*Upon returning from Houston, I celebrated my husband's birthday. He's a wise, happy man of 36 years and he's getting better and better all the time.

*Shout it from the rooftops! Our best friends are having a baby!! So incredibly excited about the Shuff Baby. Greg and I look forward to being Auntie and Uncle to the little p'nut.

*The Democratic Convention kept me glued to the screen between 9 p.m. and 10 p.m. last week, but this week's Convention is not holding the attention quite as well. So far it's been a poor satellite connection and lots and lots of blue haired men with boring speeches. I'm trying to give the Republicans a chance, but it's really, really tough. Better luck tonight when I get to hear from Sarah Palin, the controversial figure of this whole event.

I really don't like birds. I can appreciate them as creatures of this Earth and there are some that I think are beautiful, but if anyone were to ask I'd have to say I feel more dislike than like. I avoid walking under trees where I know a number of them are hanging out. I walk on another side of the street if I see one hobbling down the sidewalk in front of me, and I have white noise that fills my bedroom every night because I do not like being awakened by the nervous chatter of the birds outside our bedroom windows.

I was heading into the parking garage here at work yesterday evening I came upon my car and saw that a black bird was perched on the driver-side mirror. He was just hanging out so I stood back and allowed him to finish his rest because I did not want to go near him. But he didn't move and I soon realized why...he was pooping on my car!! I started yelling at him, telling him to get away. He squaked and spread his wings at me, but did not move from the mirror. I swung my bag in his direction and he still didn't move. It wasn't until one of my colleagues who was seeing this entire scene drove next to me and honked that the bird reluctantly flew away, giving me one last nasty squak before he did. As I turned to wave and say "thanks" to my co-worker, I realized how silly I must have looked, but I didn't care. Being on the bottom floor of a parking garage, I never imagined I'd be dealing with birds pooping on my car! Isn't that part of the reason NOT to park outside - to avoid this sort of thing? Ugh, if I didn't like birds before, I certainly despise that black bird after this experience!

Right now in my life I am experiencing a book that is having a tremendous impact on my life. Really it's so much more than the book, but the ideas and beliefs it teaches. I find myself taking notes, reading certain passages aloud and then having audible "aha!" moments as a result of the enlightenment that the words, parables and teachings in this book provide. I'm not at a place where I want to share what book this is just yet as it might be a bit controversial for some to know I'm having such a strong response and having such an important journey through its words, but I can say that it's all good, it's all right.

What a wonderful weekend!!

In addition to spending 24 hours last Thursday and Friday surrounded by the beauty of Possum Kingdom Lake while at a retreat for work, I also spent the weekend with my first love - my niece, Hannah! She came to Dallas just to spend time with her doting Aunt Lar Lar, as she likes to call me. We did girlie things like have our nails done and shopping; we also spent time talking and talking and reading and reading - two things we both love to do. I also very much enjoyed experiencing Greg and Hannah's interactions with one another. I know Greg adores my niece as there's nothing to her that one can't adore, but I also see him enjoying her humor and her innocence. They playfully joked with one another and we all laughed together. We both appreciate her pure and open perspective on things. It was a wonderful weekend and she was such a good sport putting up with our craziness during one of the most disorganized, disorderly weekends we've probably ever had. As always, Hannah handled things with poise and sweetness and enough warmth to make us both feel like it didn't bother her one bit. I've loved this babygirl since she was still in her mother's womb; I cried and screamed and smiled when she was born; I took care of her when her parents worked both during my high school and college days for several years; we've always had a special relationship that I cherish dearly; and I've watched her grow into this beautiful, caring, compassionate, intelligent young woman. And though Hannah says that I am someone she looks up to, she is someone I aspire to be more like, as well. Thank you for a wonderful weekend filled with lots of fun, smiles, love and laughter and thank you for being you, Hannah.

July 30, 2008
Aries (3/21-4/19)
"In order to get a lot done today like you want to, you're going to have to learn how to say no. Stop worrying so much about staying social -- accepting every invitation that comes your way might be a great way to stay busy, but it's also an effective way of driving yourself nuts! Is there some reason that you're avoiding alone time? Think about it. Clearing up your schedule doesn't have to be difficult if you make sure it's not so crowded in the first place!"

I'm celebrating...

...rain in July!

...Doby's new haircut.

...our beautiful home.

...small miracles.

...Wednesday!

...new carpet and new furniture in my office at work.

...finding our lost camera.

...inexpensive life insurance.

...my husband's overwhelming talent and hard work.

...my niece coming to stay with us in two weeks!

...lots of opportunitites to travel in the fall.

...my commitment to working out.

...the health and happiness of friends and family.

...letters written between me and my great aunt, Eldys.

...finding old friends and finding out more about new friends on Facebook.com.

...my cousin who is back home in San Diego, doing well. I miss him.

...all of the July birthdays!!

"Love is not blind — it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less." — Rabbi Julius Gordon

This quote makes so much sense to me. As Greg and I come upon what will be eight years since we first met and started dating, I feel more connected and more in tune with my love for him now more than ever. I'd like to say my love for him is something that has happened gradually, that it has grown steady over the years, but that just isn't true. My feelings have been abundant and overwhelming, but they have also been careless, crazy at times and downright absent at other times. I'm ashamed to admit some of this, but I can because we are in such a glorious place now together. What I can say with much confidence is that this love I feel for him right now today is honest and sincere, and my love for him allows me to see him like never before and see less of the imperfections. Somehow when you love someone as completely as I love my husband, the cracks a crevices (pun intended) help to create the beautiful artwork that is this man I call "husband." The cracks and crevices make him more whole and complete until the cracks and crevices are no longer imperfections at all, but lines and circles of curious wonder. I am not blind to any of the things that make him who he is; I see everything and love him all the more.

Here's to my husband, Greg, to August of 2000 and to seeing less and loving more.

After a disturbing ordeal this morning that involved a dead mouse in our attic that had "cooked" in this scorching Texas heat the last few days, I find that I can't take my sense of smell for granted. My Mission?: To get the thought of the dead mouse, and its ridiculous odor, out of my mind. Here is an ode to some of my favorite, most pleasant scents.

-My husband right out of the shower, or really any time.

-My grandmother, who always smells of the perfect mixture of sugar and spice and baby powder scents.

-Freshly mowed grass.

-A rain storm just before or just after it falls from the sky.

-My grandfather's cologne.

-Suavitel static cling liquid and dryer sheets.

-Bulgari perfume and products that I fell in love with at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Buckhead in Atlanta, Georgia.

-My home when Greg is making his soups - roasted garlic, tomatoes and onions - yum!

-Fabuloso floor cleaner after a good mopping.

-My dogs after a bath.

-4510 blazing with all of those fragrant, indulgent candles.

-Babies.

-Anything washed at my brother and sister-in-law's house as it smells so fresh and clean.

-Car leather and new cars.

-Cinnamon buns and chocolate chip cookies in the oven.

Ahhh...the mouse smell is gone from my mind and my nose!! Mission Accomplished. Thanks for your steady and sure removal of the "package" this morning, Greg!! I appreciate your willingness to take care of these unfun, manly tasks.

Feeling a bit "batty" today for some of the great movies I've seen recently. I find it difficult to spend the time and money to go to the theater to see a movie unless it's sure to be really good entertainment - an experience. My love affair with "Sex and the City the Movie" and now with "Mamma Mia!" makes it safe to say that I am movie mystified right now. I literally walked out of the theater on Saturday following "Mamma Mia!" and had the thought that movies are one of the best human creations ever, right up there with books and music. If someone had asked me, I don't think I would've ever put movies anywhere near the importance that books and music, or stage productions for that matter, play in my life until now. And, it's just not the same seeing these amazing films in the comfort of your own home, though I appreciate that experience very much. Being able to laugh with all those around you, know that you're all experiencing the scenes of the movie similarly but uniquely all at once actually adds to the movie-watching experience. You feel your emotions more deeply in the company of so many others who share your reactions.

I found Meryl Streep's performance in "Mamma Mia!" to be simply breath-taking, and completely energizing all at once. Her character was interesting, quirky and lovable - just like my very own Mamma Mia!!!

As I plan to embark on my next movie event - "Dark Knight" - I am sure to, once again, feel that excitment and true energy that movies provide for me. I can't wait for my "batty escapade." And, I'll make one tiny little confession here: I L-O-V-E the Batman movies; I also loved the Batman TV show. Something about that dark, brooding hero who does not seek public recognition has always intrigued me. Now that I'm older, I can also greatly appreciate those Bat Leading Men - Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer (whom I've ALWAYS appreciated!) and now Christian Bale. Yep, I'm really excited to see "Dark Knight."

Fancy Jargon vs. Action

In an article in this month's issue of "BizEd" magazine, I read about the United Nations Secretary-General, Ban Ki-moon, and his plan to achieve the UN's eight Millennium Development Goals. The UN is charged with taking some of the world's most prevalent and overwhelming issues and addressing them on a global scale. As one who is particularly invested in how to get a job done - processes, plans & execution are what drive me - I find it interesting that the UN is charged with these daunting tasks with little or no insight for how to achieve these goals. Don't get me wrong, all of these goals are worthwhile and necessary to ensure a better life for current and future generations, but I would like to know more about how the UN will act to achieve the goals. The UN Secretary-General speaks to the importance of world businesses in achieving these goals, as businesses possess the power to make these goals a reality through corporate social responsibility (fancy jargon for "businesses that care about more than the bottom line"). I tend to agree with Mr. Ki-moon, but I also think what he speaks about doing to reach these lofty goals sounds a lot like meeting after meeting after meeting to talk about the importance of the goals, instead of putting plans in place that respond to the problems. How do we go about putting people on the ground in areas of concern, getting money in the hands of medical workers, having medicine at the disposal of the medical workers, informing and educating at an early age and beyond, etc., etc.? I hate to be so skeptical of the UN and our fine leadership, but action speaks louder than all this fancy jargon.

Here, the UN Millennium Development Goals, which are set to be achieved by 2015:

Eradicate poverty and hunger,

Improve global educational opportunities,

Promote gender equality,

Reduce child mortality,

Improve maternal health,

Fight diseases such as HIV/AIDS and malaria,

Inspire environmental sustainability,

Establish a global partnership of organizations to achieve these goals.

Reading this makes me think that, although the government and organizations like the United Nations are necessary, maybe some of the more socially-invested celebrities and the country's wealthy, as well as the average Joe who just takes matters into his own hands, have it right. Just gather your resources, whether that's oodles of cash, weeks of your time or a team of your best friends and the best professionals for the job, arm yourself with what is needed to bring about change and make it happen on your own terms through your own actions. You may not get your face plastered on a fancy magazine for it, but at least you, and all those you've helped, will know that you took action while this country's leaders and business people are busy making "to do" lists that they discuss over pastries and coffee in meeting after meeting where the latest fancy jargon makes men and women in suits sound intelligent.

Tales from the weekend...

Friday: spent QT with some of my favorite people

Saturday: self-motivation followed by brunch with a friend followed by relaxation at home then dinner with our best friends

Sunday: a mighty "to do list" for the house that was conquered almost completely with my Hubby followed by a feeling of accomplishment and then a freaky movie ("Untraceable" with Diane Lane-creepy!!)

Monday morning...here again.

Ain't it the truth???!!!

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it."—David Starr Jordan

I'll allow the photos to speak a thousand words about my trip to Vegas this past weekend...

First night - Planet Hollywood & Paris Hotels

Second Day (above & below) - Family Friends, Pool Time & Shopping!!

Saturday Night in Old Downtown Vegas with my Texas-sized Beer!

My favorite day - Lake Las Vegas Ritz Carlton - shopping, the marina, yummy pizza...

My favorite night - Caesar's Palace for dinner at Bobby Flay's restaurant, Mesa Grill; Bette Midler's "The Showgirl Must Go On;" and drinks and fun at the Mirage Hotel's Beatles REVOLUTION Lounge and Club. What a FAB-U-LOUS night!!!

The Divine Ms. M!

Beatles Mania

Doesn't my smile say it all?!?

VEGAS, BABY!

Vegas is a place I've been to only a few times, but each time has been a distinct occasion and a vivid memory. The first time was Easter weekend in 2000. My best friend, Mandy, took me on a lavish weekend getaway in celebration of my 21st birthday. Twenty-one years old, carefree and having fun. I remember eating the most delicious meals, one of which was at Nobu at the Hard Rock Cafe. I remember the indulgent massage that is by far still the best massage experience I've ever had. Who can forget the pool time and shopping?! The Venetian Hotel was magnificent and the time spent with Mandy was awesome. Yep, we brought home a newfound respect for Sin City and some great memories that we still reminisce over.

About two years later, in December of 2002, my brother and sister-in-law were married in Vegas. We all stayed at the Monte Carlo, which I can remember thinking was nice but didn't even compare to the Venetian because at this point I am a true Vegas Expert. We spent most of our time, though, at the Bellagio Hotel where the wedding and reception were held. Now that's an amazing hotel - beautiful rooms, great decor, awesome restaurants and those singing and dancing fountains can't be beat. I remember all of the yummy food we ate, how nice it was to be in such a fun place with my Dad, sister, brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law. Oh, and we met Wayne Brady! But all of this could not overshadow the occasion that brought me and my family to Vegas in the first place and the wedding was perfect. I was maid of honor and stood for two people that I care deeply for and that I'm still very close with. That seems like so long ago now - three children and four homes later to be exact! In 2002, Vegas was a great locale for two special people to start their lives together.

My next trip to Vegas was in spring of 2003 for my bachelorette party. This momentous occasion was shared with another bride-to-be, Jenn B. We pooled our efforts and invited all of our shared friends and had about 12 girls in attendance. What a blast! Our party planners, Mandy & Sara, did an amazing job - we were greeted at the airport by a stretch limo, once in our rooms at the Paris Hotel we were given slippers and other girlie gifts, we had dinner at some of the best places, saw a male revue show that knocked our socks off (and the boys' clothes off!), we danced until all hours of the night and even ran into one of our teen heartthrobs, Joey McIntyre, who completely disappointed. But what I remember most from that weekend is really bonding with the other bride-to-be as we would sneak off from the fun late at night to share a plate of french fries and talk about how much we wanted to just go to bed and sleep. It was a great trip.

My final Vegas experience was later in 2003. I've blocked out the exact date, but it was a trip for my husband's bachelor party. He was accompanied by my Dad, my brother, his brother and brother-in-law. I thought, 'what could go wrong?' Well, I won't re-hash the entire ordeal as it's not a good memory, but I will say I remember calling my Dad to check-in and he would be sitting in his hotel room working crossword puzzles and drinking from the wet bar he brought along with him from home while my brother was a fixture at the blackjack tables even winning big one night and taking all the fellas out for a steak dinner before they went to see the "Rat Pack" perform. Later I heard that John, Greg and Dave enjoyed the weekend watching the horse races - a strange way to gamble while in Vegas, if you ask me.

Now I am embarking on another trip to Sin City and this time it's all about me, my Mom, Aunt Carol, Nikki, Misha, David, Gramma Helen and BETTE! Vegas is home to some of the most important people in my life. Carol and her family have been part of our family for many, many years. When they lived in Houston, where I grew-up, we spent lots of time with them, including about every Christmas Eve until they moved away. Carol and my Mom have been the best of friends forever and they are both wild, crazy, fantastic people that I adore!! This weekend will be about spending time with Carol and family, and it will be the first time for me to experience this extravagant city with my Mother. We meet tomorrow at the Vegas airport and our adventure will begin. Who knows what might happen along the way, but I know how it will end...with a truly glorious dinner at Mesa Grill by Celebrity Chef Bobby Flay and a smashingly enjoyable performance from BETTE MIDLER!! Now this is sure to be the making of some beautiful Vegas memories.

What's just as good as a night with a great friend, dinner and wine?? Seeing a movie about great friendships, great loves and great moments together.

I saw "Sex and the City" the movie for the second time last night and it was just as good the second time around. I laughed out loud again, cried again and felt that rush of emotion that only a movie with so much truth about love, fashion and friendship can cause. I so, so, so enjoyed the film and I can't wait to own it and watch it over and over. Here, some of my favorite movie moments:

Carrie's '80s fashion show - good friends enjoying champagne and memories. Makes you nostalgic for sure.

Charlotte's Poo-kipsee...one of the best laughs of the movie.

Famous lines not easily forgotten, and a note to say I may not remember exact lines but you get the point:

"What does your gut tell you?"

"When I color, I use every crayon in my box!"

"You might never know... But do you love each other enough to take the chance and move on together?"

"I think I'm ready to come out of my Mexicoma."

"I curse the day you were born!"

Cosmopolitans - "Why did we ever stop drinking these?" "Because everybody else started."

"Cheers to the next fifty years..."

Stronger - Part II

I recently reported that I am getting stronger in my weekly Fitness Five Class with four of my co-workers and I now have the proof to show for it! After five weeks of working hard twice a week, I am now able to do 88 sit-ups in a minute without resting (I could only do 48 before); 28 push-ups before exhaustion (I could only do 5 before!); my blood pressure and resting heart rate are both down; my arms and legs are stronger; I am more flexible; and overall I feel like a real champ!!! We have a week off from official training next week and then we come back strong the week after July 4. My goals for the next session are to lose weight and increase my cardio strength. Can't wait to see what this next five weeks will bring...

I recently finished reading Emily Giffin's latest book, "Love the One You're With," and found it funny, engaging and enjoyable, which is what I expected. What I didn't expect was to learn a few lessons about life, love and marriage through the fun story of a young married woman who is faced with the choice of whether to commit wholely to her marriage or give in to the passion of an old flame. A wonderful story that I highly recommend to any woman who loves her husband and can appreciate that old flame. Cheers to the unexpected that this book has brought to me and to the great friends who pass along these great stories and important lessons. Thank you, Lauren!

Lessons Learned:

"...maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

"...how close I came to losing everything...I hold that day deep within myself, as a reminder that love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together."

Stronger

I'm getting stronger every week alongside several of my work colleagues during our Fitness Five circuit training. It's been five weeks now and I must say that I look forward to this time when I test my strength and my endurance and I enjoy seeing the progress I've made thus far. I find now more than ever in my life that it's less about numbers on a scale and more about how I feel - challenging myself, making and sticking with my commitment, watching my body work for me. I am so proud of my re-defined and newfound muscles. I am overjoyed at how much better I am sleeping and how these workouts lead me to want to do other healthy things for myself. One strong step in the right direction just might lead to a whole new journey...

I've learned so much this week!

I've learned...

---that true love is more about who you are for one another than what you do, and once you are that special someone for your spouse, you will always be that special someone for them.

---new and interesting facts about my Father's side of the family during the two-day funeral activities in Lubbock, Texas.

---that my brother, sister and I share the feeling that our Uncle Jack was our favorite uncle, and that his death is a loss for all of us in a shared, special way.

---that I definitely look more like my Dad's side of the family than my Mother's side.

---that I definitely act more like my Dad's side of the family than my Mother's side - my Dad's side of the family are all generally happy, laid back, fun, open and honest, salt-of-the-Earth kind of folks.

---that bad news seems to come to us in large doses so that maybe it's easier to swallow and so that when even the smallest bit of good news comes, we are completely, utterly grateful.

---no matter how near or far your family is, or how many years have lapsed between seeing them, you can feel like a little piece of you is always with them and a little piece of each of them is always with you.

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." — Sidney Howard

This quote comes at a time when I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want. It's a wonderful place to be in when everything feels so settled and so good that I wonder what the next stage in my life will be. I can see beyond the here and now because the here and now is so clear and bright. There are two things I know I want: to continue advancing in my career and to start our family.

I think about career advancement opportunities and the fact that to take on more responsibility I might be giving up the freedom I have in my current role to make my own way, not deal with much of the bureaucracy, "fly under the radar" and other things that make my current role so perfect for me, like traveling, making new connections for the University, not having to manage a staff and having the leadership of someone who is wise and who protects from some of the unwanted "BS." I also think about how much time I have in my current role versus what I might have should I advance. Time is integral for other life plans I am thinking about...

Beginning our family is very much my priority. To begin our family would mean exchanging free time for family time, shifting our priorities from marriage and career to marriage and child. A baby in the house would mean new responsibilities, new worries - less sleep, more work and a forever commitment. It would mean less spontaneity, less selfishness and more concentrated effort to make a happy, healthy home.

In both cases - a new career path and a new family addition - I can see myself being very happy even with the big and small sacrifices, but I do wonder whether I'd be overwhelmed should both life changes happen at one time. If these things happen all at once won't I just muscle through not knowing the difference? Not to say that both will happen either at the same time or at all as I have little control over either life situation, but these changes have definitely been on my mind as possibilities. I've enjoyed toying with the different scenarios and the various ways in which I might approach the outcomes. Again, it's a great place to be in my life when all I really focus on are the possibilities, opportunities and dreams. I find this quote, which came to me today, just perfect for what's been on my mind lately and I wanted to share.

Doctor Love

I had one of my mini break-downs last night where I was laying in bed and my mind was racing. I was thinking about things that make me angry and hurt and I was having conversations running through my mind that had my heart rate up. It's not a good place to be in.

When Greg arrived home and I described my state of mind, he simply sat down next to me and began to listen and talk me through it. The best thing about him, and this may be a "male thing," is that he doesn't allow for my pity party. He gauges the situation and then dives right in with what he believes are the most important things about what I'm saying. He whittles the situation and the problems down so they seem very manageable and then he "bottom lines" it for me. In essence he shows me that it's never as big or bad as I think it is; never as long-lasting as I think it is; and he gets me to focus on the positive of it all. Who needs therapy when you've got Doctor Love in the house?

Eating Like a Queen

My husband might like me to relay some of the excitement surrounding his new career through the who's who clientele - Angie Harmon, Katie Lee Joel, Ashley Olsen, First Lady Laura Bush and the Secret Service, just to name a few.

I would prefer to tell you about the feeling you get when you walk through the door at the T room cafe ( http://www.fortyfiveten.com/). It's an exhilarating feeling. When you walk in you feel special all of a sudden, like you've stepped into a room set perfectly for you. The intimacy and the quiet music are the perfect elements for what will be a wonderful, joyous meal to satisfy all your cravings. Plus the mystery of all of the baubles and wonders that lay merely a few feet away in the boutique adds to your experience. But, ultimately, it's about the food...

From the homemade soups made with only the freshest ingredients to the crisp green salads with a myriad of toppings including various flavors of yummy chicken salad to the warm panini sandwiches on fresh crusty bread dripping with cheese and featuring your favorite veggies and meat of your choice. The experience is divine - the tea is flavorful and the desserts are decadent.

Now why would I want to talk about the famous clientele when they're no more special than I am when I walk into that T room for lunch? They all know as I do that this experience is more than soups, salads and sandwiches - these lunches are a work of art made especially for me each time I'm there.

Like First Lady Laura Bush and all the others, I get a thrill going to the T room because I enjoy feeling special and eating like a Queen.

My thoughts this morning...

I want to play tennis.

I think it's a sport I could actually get into and it's one that Greg and I can play together. Not to mention the cute outfits you get to wear and the fact that of all the celebrity crushes my husband could choose, he always seems to have the hots for a certain young, blond tennis star.

I want to take dance classes.

I've loved dancing my whole life. I've never been the most graceful or had the best technique or skills, but it's always been something I loved to do. I always worked hard at it. I'd like to feel my body move in different ways than it usually does. Dance helps with posture and confidence and overall fitness.

I love watching my husband work on our home.

Yesterday, bright and early, Greg struck out to find flowers, trees and greenery for our front landscaping. I've learned that he has an eye for beauty and order and design unlike most I've ever seen. Before I would insert my "two cents" only to find that his ideas and his vision were, once again, the best. So, I now step back and just enjoy his work because nobody does it better than my man.

Favorite quote from the weekend:

"You are the exclamation point on my creativity"

In complimenting my husband on how well he sees and does things from his work as a chef, to his brilliant ideas at home and at work, to his awesome abilities with home improvements and beautification, he is by far the "Creative Genius" in our household. When I told him this, he argued saying I am creative in my writing, I said "Thank you, but I don't hold a candle to you in the creativity department." His response was the lovely compliment mentioned above. Through my little touches here and there when he has completed his work and through my excitement and admiration of his work, Greg believes I provide the "exclamation point" to my husband's creativity.

Why do some of the best people who have so much to offer the world have to leave us so soon?

The father of two of our very best friends died this weekend. He'd struggled with a somewhat short, but terrible battle with cancer and finally succumbed to the disease with dignity, respect and love from his wonderful family and friends. A doctor himself, he knew when he first received the diagnosis that there probably wouldn't be much time before the inevitable. So, he went about readying his family. I can only assume that over the last few months this family spent time talking about all the good memories and spent time making sure they each knew how they felt and how much he is loved and how much he would be missed. I know Dr. Shuff was a good man, a wonderful father and grandfather, and I know he spent his life helping others, what I don't know is why now? All I can do is thank God for all he was to all those who knew him, be grateful that I was lucky enough to know him and be grateful to him for helping to raise two of the very best men I know.

I want to follow through on the dreams that I have for myself and my family. Like Dr. and Mrs. Shuff, I hope to raise strong, loyal, caring children who are respectful and who love their mother and father. I want my husband and those closest to me to always know how much I care for them because we only have today.