Footlongs, Sweet Tea & Ice Cream

I've expanded on my earlier craving of Peanut Butter and I'm now on to sandwiches of just about any kind, (the more sauces the better) good 'ole southern sweet iced tea and, of course, ice cream!

I dream of fluffy white bread or warm Italian bread slathered in mayo, drizzled with vinegar, sprinkled with salt & pepper and then filled with meats, cheese, lettuce and tomato. Maybe this first craving is because sandwiches, though filling and delicious, don't have a distinct aroma. It seems the stronger the aroma of a food (Italian and Mexican come to mind), the harder it is for me to want to eat it. As for the sweet tea, well I come by that honest as it's a staple in my Grandmother's kitchen. I feel indulgent sipping on this refreshingly wet and sinfully sweet beverage. I even allow myself to drink it with caffeine sometimes just because they serve a serious sweet tea here in the student center at SMU where I work and it's not decaf. And my precious Blue Bell Moo-lennium Crunch ice cream...there are few words to describe the thrill it brings me. Vanille ice cream with all kinds of nuts and specks of toffee - YUM-MEE!! It's my favorite ice cream of all time and now I have my Husband hooked, too.

So, as you can see food has become so much more than something simply to sustain my body and help my baby grow; it has become a bit of an obsession and I'm o.k. with that.

A Moment from Our Cravings Sponsors

Peanut Butter & Peach Jelly on Mrs. Baird's white bread in the morning

Veggie Soup and a big sandwich with lots of meat and cheese for lunch

A sensible piece of fruit for an afternoon snack

Dinner is just a means to an end - to get to the Blue Bell vanilla ice cream for dessert.

My days and nights are filled with cravings. Many times I give in to them and other times it just doesn't make sense. Like yesterday, for example, I wanted the freshest smattering of sushi slathered in soy sauce that I could sink my teeth into. Volcano roll, Dynamite roll, Sexy roll, good 'ole Spicy Tuna roll...

Doesn't make much sense to have that when most of the sushi I love is raw!

Above all else, I have been craving peanut butter. Luckily I had two jars at home BEFORE the salmonella or ecoli scare from peanut butter started. But if I run out, I'm in trouble! I'm also all about the big sandwich with the soft white bread, lots of veggies and meat and cheese. YUM! Luckily, I'm enjoying fruits and veggies, too, but that is a complete accident.

In Love...

I find myself taking a second glance when I see myself in mirrors or in glass doors when I pass by them. I hardly recognize myself these days and yet it feels as though this has always been meant for me. My body is changing rapidly with hips widening, belly rounding out and breasts expanding, but somehow it all feels just right. I am very comfortable in this moment in my pregnancy; I even venture to say I feel beautiful. I am not self-conscious, or irritated by these changes, I am in awe of them. There's a sparkle in my eye as though I have a secret, a really great secret only I can know. There's a spring in my step and a sing-song to my laughter that even surprises me when I hear it! I am in love with my pregnancy and I am so, very excited about my baby girl.

Sanguine

Cheerfully optimistic or confident

What a great word - sanguine! I am feeling sanguine these days because I am alive, healthy, happy, loved and expecting a beautiful baby daughter. I have plans with friends this weekend, I love my job and everything that goes with it, my family is doing well and I adore my husband. Amazingly I can still feel sanguine even after a week of not sleeping much. It seems God or fate or something else is trying to prepare me for the sleeplessness to come. It's as though the universe is whispering in my ear each night, "This is nothing, sweetheart, just wait until that baby arrives." Monday night was a no sleeper for reasons I will not divulge, Tuesday was alright but between having a head cold that worsens when I lie down and the frequent restroom breaks every two to three hours no night is restful, and then there was last night. I didn't go to sleep until 11 p.m. and then at 2 a.m. my dog, Yankee, began barking at what seemed like the front door. My dogs don't typically bark, especially at this hour, unless there's a good reason. So, Greg let them outside, and that didn't work, he checked the house for a security breach and that wasn't it, and the barking continued intermittently until 5:30 a.m. I didn't even get angry about it, I just laid there with my eyes closed trying to think good thoughts. I figured at least I was in my bed resting, and that will be the biggest difference between now and this summer when little Rylee is dictating my sleeping habits. Greg, on the other hand, was not happy. He grumpily stated this morning that he would not be meeting me a the gym today as we'd discussed the night before because of his "bad sleep."

So, sleep or no sleep...I'm sanguine all the same.

Broken Open

As an eternal optimist I am always looking for ways to turn something sad, tragic or unfair into something positive. I have also been seeking the counsel lately of those who can help me see the opportunity in hard times. So, in keeping with this recent theme I came across an episode of Oprah (one of my life gurus) yesterday and the show was about spirituality and a book called "Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow" by Elizabeth Lesser. Lesser speaks of choosing a life path when you've been through something difficult that helps you understand why the pain has happened and what can be learned from the pain. Lesser uses the analogy of a rosebud who may either stay tightened and eventually wither and fall off the stem or of a rose who blossoms with each of life's lessons to bask in the rays of the sun and be refreshed by the drops rain. To be like the latter we must grow in difficult times and do our best not to allow difficult things to harden us. So, as my petals begin to relax and bend to the sun and rain from the recent challenges I have experienced, I feel I am to be broken open, but never broken to pieces.

(Note: I intended to share some of the unfortunate difficulties that are leading me to this place of understanding expressed in this blog posting, but I decided it best to move through those things quietly and peacefully. Thanks to all of you who have been such a huge support over the last couple of weeks, and please know I am doing well.)