Home Improvement Hero - Part II

As I slept really late on Sunday, I could hear the occasional singing, banging of the paint can and movement of the tall ladder downstairs where hubby was busily painting. So much work was done on the house last weekend that I think Greg had a hard time leaving anything alone this weekend, as well. So, we chose a new paint color for the entryway and hallways (Sagey) and he went to work. There's something very comforting about sleeping the morning away while your strong, determined man gets after the house work. I dreamt of beaches and ocean, sun on my face and wind in my hair as Greg worked and worked and worked. It was getting pretty late so I decided to finally get out of bed, though I could've easily continued to sleep. As the day progressed, Greg began getting more and more accomplished - he was on a roll. But then he hit a wall. He was committed to getting a new chandelier installed high in the ceiling of our entryway. It took him such a long time and so much determination and it was almost done when the whole thing fell to the ground. It was heart-breaking to see so much hard work fall apart, and the look on Greg's face was very sad, as well. He looked at me and said, "I failed." Wow, that was powerful. I was mad at the chandelier; Greg was mad at himself. Seeing his utter disappointment really said a lot about this man. Achievement is about the prize more than the journey to get there. I see this as a fundamental difference between me and Greg. I applaud his efforts where he sees complete failure and has forgotten about the obstacles he overcame to even make it as far as he did. I say how proud I am of him even trying to do it after working so hard all day, then to get as far along as he did with only one hand to work with as the other hand was latched on to the very tall ladder so as to keep him from falling. He only saw a failure. But after only a few moments of wallowing in the disappointment, Greg picked himself back up and said, "They won't get me down!" and proceeded to install a different light fixture in another area of the house. I guess that's what can be said about seeing the achievement or the failure as opposed to the journey - it allows you to pick yourself back up quickly because you've disregarded the long, hard journey leading to the failure and it allows the failure to spur you on to something else that's absolutely achievable. Hence the self-confidence is restored. Needless to say, this little study in the psychology that is my husband was important for me to experience. My Home Improvement Hero strikes again and though he can't scale walls, fly or blow fire, he has many great secret powers that serve us and our family very, very well...particularly the power to overcome failure and achieve more.

We're all like little mosquitoes!

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room." — Anita Roddick

I Am Grateful

There's really no better way to begin talking about how great things are going these days than to share my husband's horoscope from yesterday:

"Karma is definitely on your side right now, so you can expect some valuable payback for all the good deeds you have performed in the recent past. You are learning more about how to use these wonderful victorious moments to feed your self esteem in a healthy way, and it will start bringing very important people to your side."

I'm not even sure where to start, but maybe last Monday will do.

Last Monday I received gorgeous flowers from Greg, actually they were red roses and stargazer lillies which were the flowers in my wedding bouquet, with a note saying how much he loves 'us.' On Valentine's Day, amidst chocolates, flowers and nice sentiments from family and friends, I got a phone call that really made my week extra awesome. Our best friends, Jenn and Mark, who moved to Connecticutt a while back, are moving back to Dallas in April!!! Greg and I are so overjoyed to have our friends back with us. What exciting news! Over the weekend Greg and I got very serious again about home improvements. My "Home Improvement Hero" installed two new toilets; a new, beautiful front door with new locks and door handles; replaced several baseboards in the house; installed molding around the new door; and successfully utilized many of his new toys, I mean tools, for these projects. The tools included a pancake compressor with a nail gun (very scary tool!!), a miter saw and other items I can't remember the name of. I was so impressed with my "Home Improvement Hero" and so excited about our progress. Then to top things off, we got confirmation of a very special, very important career move for Greg. Not only is it a wonderful opportunity financially, it's also a chance for my creative, talented, hard-working husband to re-join the culinary world where he works best. I realized this weekend why Greg can tackle home improvement projects like he's been doing then for years: he can do anything as long as he's working with his hands. His mind and his physical abilities are directly in line. He sees a physical project and he just knows how to make it work. It's pretty amazing and it's this ability that helps him be such a wonderful chef. So, with so much good karma coming our way and so many wonderful things to celebrate - the return of great friends, a very promising career change and lots and lots of love all around - all I can say is 'I am grateful.'

It's like a damn florist around here...

I just walked into the suite where the development offices are where I work and I was just struck by all of the beautiful, fragrant flowers that have been delivered, with love, to me and my colleagues. Roses, stargazer lillies, daisies - you name it, it's here. Among the six women that work here in this office, all of us received flowers today. Actually, my husband was very clever this year as he sent my bouquet to me on Monday so that I could enjoy them all week long. And I have!! Even though Valentine's Day seems like such a commercialized day of wasted money, it has always been a day that makes me happy. Between the flowers, the chocolate, the e-cards and phone calls from friends and family, the giggles and squeals of women who've been shown they are loved, it really is a good day. And today's Valentine's occasion has been better than ever for me for so many reasons. I feel very lucky and very loved!!!

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals." — Henry Ford

Ain't it the truth!? These words are so valid for so many things in life. When I start to allow my mind to stray from what my goals are, I tend to see the obstacles to achieving my goals. When I lose sight of what's most important, I am distracted by those moving parts around me that really should have nothing to do with the goal. And I find it interesting that Ford uses the word "frightful" to describe life's obstacles. I find that in my own life, those obstacles are very much about my own deeply rooted fears. As my Mom would say, Ford's words "hit me right between the eyes" this morning!!

A Daily Lesson from Mort Fertel,

Marriage Fitness Boot Camp Creator and Marriage Guru

"The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character."- Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we understand what is meant by CHARACTER.
"Personality" is easy to understand. Your "personality" is how people experience you. It's your public persona.
But what is "character?" And why is "character"so crucial in your marriage?
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
Let me say that again so you can read it slowly and really digest it this time.
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
You see, when you and your spouse met, you met each other's PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you were shown by your spouse your public personas. I'm not saying you tricked each other. It's just your personality; how you display yourself to others.
But marriage lasts too long in too close of quarters for anyone to sustain a public persona. Personalities eventually give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no one is watching. But someone is watching. And that's when you meet for the first time...again!
You and your spouse don't meet the person who charmed each other's friends, bought gifts for each other's parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time it's a meeting of your CHARACTERS.
In many cases, it's not only that you're meeting each other for the first time, but it's that you're meeting YOURSELVES for the first time.
Most people wouldn't be caught dead treating anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most people don't recognize their own behavior. "I'm just not myself with him/her." Well then who is that person? I say, that's YOU...it's your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)
The reason so many people fail at marriage and an attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they don't like their spouse. It's that they don't like THEMSELVES. And while everyone else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their personality; their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most people don't like what they see.
Many people would rather choose to be with someone else than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves.

(Did you get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: "You are as much a real person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage."
Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand.

The View From My Pedestal

I'm singing at the top of my lungs to Rascal Flatts or Fergie on my way to work in the morning with a big grin on my face.

I'm opening my sun roof and feeling the sun and wind against my face as I drive my favorite car ever.

I am happy to get my hair just right.

I love my job, my boss, my co-workers and my work.

I enjoy the appreciation and recognition I receive at my job.

I am so grateful for the sincere love and support of my best friends.

My Mother is so awesome and loves me so much that I can feel it miles and miles away.

I am learning, enjoying life and spending my time laughing, smiling and sharing conversation with fabulous people.

I strive to live from a place of grace and gratitude.

I have the "woo" factor.

I am special, smart, funny, good, beautiful, loved!!!

If I can't crawl up on my own pedestal every now and then, I can't help myself overcome life's challenges. I must be my very own biggest fan, strongest ally, best friend and staunchest protector.

The view looks pretty good from up here...

That Just Might Make the Blog!

I think it's pretty funny when something happens or something is said that leads my husband to retort, "That's going to make your blog, isn't it?" It's become kind of interesting to see what he thinks should or could make the blog.

This happened just last night as Tom Petty and the HeartBreakers wrapped up their half-time show during the Super Bowl and I said, "I don't know if I'm getting older or smarter, but I would've never thought that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers would give a great Super Bowl half-time performance, and they just rocked the house...one of the best Super Bowl half-time performances I've seen!" To which Greg quickly replied, "You're getting to be a little bit more of both, honey!" (older & smarter!) When I looked at him and grined at the half compliment, he said in a half-joke: "That's going to make your blog tomorrow, isn't it?!" YEP!!

My husband knows me all too well; I love good dialogue. It's the cornerstone of my favorite movies ("When Harry Met Sally," "A Few Good Men," etc.) and my favorite songs (lyrics shared many times here on this blog) and it's what I love most about spending time with those in my life. That seemingly insignificant exchange that would only reside in my memory or a good journal entry can now be shared with the world (or at least the small pocket of folks that know me and read this thing) and now that Greg sees what "makes the blog" he realizes the types of conversations that leave a mark with me and, therefore, he is more aware of my smiles and grimaces and obvious reactions to certain things we say to one another because, as he says, they just might make the blog. I'm enjoying this very much!