"In youth we learn; in age we understand."
— Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

I like this quote and the idea behind it, but I wonder if this is really true. I know for sure that after a nice, long conversation with my Mom and Grandmother (Baba) while in Houston over Labor Day that they are at different points in their learning and understanding. Mom being 55 and Baba being just shy of 86, you can probably guess that each had their own take on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I think my Mom understands a lot, but she also admits to continuing to learn things about people, about the world and about herself. I respect the fact that my Mom doesn't pretend to know and understand it all. What I learned from Mom on this trip:

-Love and friendship are great, an integral part of marriage, but sex and attraction is equally as important.

-Every day we wake-up and we have choices. It's what we do with those choices that shapes our lives.

-One of the most important relationships is the one we have with our parents/parental figures.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

My Baba, on the other hand, is not a 'know it all,' but I get the sense that she just understands the things about her life that the rest of us are still learning a little deeper than anyone can who hasn't lived as long. She doesn't get bogged down in the little things of life, like I tend to do, she just knows a few, simple, yet crucial things about life that she understands deeply and holds strong to and that's it. From my talks with her alone, I learned:

-A woman can never have too many pairs of shoes, even at 86.

-Jewelry, hand bags and a new outfit will always bring a smile to a woman's face and a grumpiness to a man's voice.

-Being desired by a man is always nice.

-Baba originated, and still holds to the mantra, "Always keep a little for yourself..." (I just thought that my Mom coined the phrase!!)

-Giving to others is one of the most blessed things in life.

I can say the same for my Grandfather (Gege), who Baba and I talked with later after the Mom and Baba conversations. Baba and Gege don't really question certain things, like their marriage, their faith, their life situation, their past. They understand that what you worry about all your life, or live all your years learning about, comes down to a few simple beliefs, in no particular order, that I was able to glean from this conversation with my Baba and Gege:

-Enjoy life as much as you can, and know that you can't change those around you, only yourself.

-Be faithful to God, family and self.

-Friendship and love are to be cherished, no matter your age.

-You're going to screw up, people around you are going to screw up--deal with it, learn from it, try to do better/be better next time and move on.

-Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it, you can only change how you let it affect you.

-Work hard, play hard. Save for retirement, but don't ever really "retire."

-Pay your taxes.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

So, I guess Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach is right. We spend all of our younger years learning what we can only hope to understand as we grow older and wiser. I am lucky that I have grandparents and a mother who try to teach me all that they already understand in such a loving way. But, as is the way of children/grandchildren, there are plenty of things I am just going to have to learn on my own that I can, hopefully, try to teach my children and grandchildren one day.

"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
— Mother Theresa

My husband had sinus surgery last Thursday and contrary to what he and I thought, it is one of the worst experiences of his life. The surgery went well and took all of an hour, but the recovery has been brutal. He's still at home now trying to recuperate. For the last four days I've done my best to be patient, kind, accommodating, wifely, quiet, helpful, sweet and all that, but it's been frustrating not to be able to help rid him of his pain and anguish altogether. In my powerlessness these last few days, I've found there's really something about being needed. I've enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy, doing the smallest things, like warming up a wet wash cloth to lay on his forehead, that makes the biggest difference. I appreciate his wanting me there with him even when he sleeps, or his allowing me to help him move around long after he really needed me to.

When I saw this quote from Mother Theresa come across my e-mail this morning I knew it was an opportunity to look at this time with my husband as a gift. Needing one another is a fundamental part of marriage and I'm grateful that I am needed and that I can give with all my love. It's unfortunate that feeling needed most times comes during times of hurt or illness, but to feel needed is to feel loved and to give in a loving manner is the greatest gift two people can share. God must put these trials and tribulations in our lives to remind us of this, and I think this quote could not have come into my life at a more perfect time for a more perfect reason.

So much to report, but I'll keep it short and sweet!

We have a new arrival for the O'Neill Clan--the first O'Neill Baby in 35 years. My husband was the last O'Neill Baby born until now.

Oscar Benjamin Joseph O'Neill was born yesterday, September 9, to Greg's brother and his fiance, Lisa. We are so overjoyed at the latest addition to the family.

Two new nephews in one year (We welcomed baby boy, Blane Carman, to the family in June!!)...doesn't get any better than that!

A few things...

-Well, it's been a whirlwind few days at the new job. I am enjoying it and learning a lot and feeling more and more like this was the best decision.

-My husband has "knocked it out of the park", making me so proud and excited for him. He was the chef/caterer for a high profile wedding held over three days out of town this past weekend. From what he has said and from the reviews of those in attendance, it was a fabulous weekend of wonderful cuisine to rave about!! I can't wait to see what sort of opportunities this exciting event may open up for him.

-I am headed to visit my grandparents and my mom this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the long weekend to reflect on my new job and to share a lot of love and hugs with my grandparents. I haven't been to see them since my grandfather's very crucial, very successful surgery, and I'm happy to report that he's getting better every day, he just wants his Claire there to give him some love!! I'm on my way, Gege.

-Having additional work done on the house, which is good, but always a bit stressful. Greg and I are dealing with it very well and I am happy to let him handle it. He's great about balancing a good deal with good workmanship.

-I have begun school and I'm taking two really interesting courses--speech & body language and the interpretation of dreams. Hope I can keep my head above water with the new job and the full schedule at school!!

That's the report for now.

I can't even begin to express my complete and utter joy over being back on the SMU campus as a student AND a staff member!! Who would've ever guessed this would be where my path would lead me? I am seriously on Cloud Nine and I haven't felt this excited and this happy in a long time--particularly about work. Funny thing is, you almost don't realize how unhappy you are with things until something else shows you how good it can be elsewhere.

Almost as a symbol for how things are for me right now, I have a nice, new office with a bright window overlooking the bustling campus very near to my freshman dorm and the student center (aahhh...the memories!), I have new co-workers that I am extremely excited to get to know better and who have made me feel more than welcome here and I feel so proud of myself, which probably sounds a bit strange, but it's really the only way I have to describe this feeling--pride and joy.

All is good with the world today!!!

A Note on My Reluctance

There are few things in life that truly scare me. Fear is not something I walk around with each day and not something I give power to, if I can help it. As my Mother has always taught me, "If you're doing/not doing something because of fear, you are doing it/not doing it for the wrong reasons. Nothing good comes from a place of fear."

Well, I may not have a lot of fears in my life, but the ones I do have are very serious. One of those fears has been on the tip of my tongue, in the sharpest corner of my mind and has permeated my dreams lately. That fear has caused me to be reluctant in writing about something that has been severely weighing on my mind. Until I had some resolution, I couldn't bear to think much about it, much less blog about it.

That fear is losing my grandparents.

Last Monday, my first love underwent cardiac bypass surgery. When I heard that this surgery was going to be necessary, I almost lost my breath and I definitely lost my grasp. My grandfather is an active, spirited 81 years old. Some of his favorite past times are working in the yard, home improvements and building things, so you can imagine when he began having severe chest pains that he was not happy about it. He wanted relief, no matter what. So, when the doctor said that major open-heart surgery was necessary, the Lord allowed my grandfather to forget the pain and anguish of his first by-pass surgery performed more than 15 years ago, and he said without a doubt, "Sign me up!" It's that attitude and gumption for life that I love about both of my grandparents. But I was scared...

You see, there's just something about me and my grandparents, and I like to think it's unique to us three, so we'll just pretend that it is. My grandparents are like no other two people I've ever met, both in who they are to the world and who they are to me. I know I am blessed to have two grandparents around to know and love, but I am even more blessed to have these grandparents.

My grandfather, Gege as I call him, is the first man I ever fell in love with. That kind of love that no matter what, he can never do any wrong. He is a father, grandfather, friend, confidante, teddy bear, rock, comedian, perfectionist, teacher and he means the world to me. Who wouldn't love a man who has a sparkle in his eye, an intelligent word to say, an unwavering faith, a funny spark of humor, is good-looking and loves you so much you can feel it every time you're around him?!? I still get that "Gege's little girl" feeling that I've had since birth when I'm around him, and that is just priceless. He is a true gift...

So, you see, I have been reluctant about saying anything about his surgery until I knew for sure my Gege would be alright. I only told a few people about this so that they could pray and hope and wish with me for his healthy recovery. Now, I can shout from the rooftops, "Fifteen more years with my Gege!!!!" He's all mine.

No more fear or reluctance, just love and gratitude and "hallelujah!"

I love you, Gege, more than I could ever express, more than you can ever know. Thank you for being the strength and courage and faith that I have always depended on. Thank you for fighting for me having my Gege for another 15 years. Thank you to the doctors and nurses at St. Luke's Hospital in Houston for allowing me more time with my first love.

"There are two good things in life; freedom of thought and freedom of action."
— William Somerset Maugham

I must agree with Mr. Somerset Maugham. In the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of enjoying much freedom...the freedom to dream about what could be ahead for me in my career, the freedom to make the decision to stay or to go, the freedom to accept a new job and resign from the old one. And I jumped on that freedom, grabbed it around the neck, flung it around in raw, crazy emotion and then hugged it tightly to myself so as to make it a part of my being.

On Monday I accepted a job offer from Southern Methodist University, my alma mater. The place that seemed like only a lofty aspiration when I was 17 looking for the right college. Fortunately, SMU became a great reality that brings me so much joy to remember and so much happiness even now as a graduate student. I have been given the chance to work for a place I have so much passion about, a place that, in many ways, has saved my life. I will be stepping out of doing communications work, as I do now, and into fundraising for the Cox School of Business at SMU. The Cox School is a Top Ten business school and is very well-respected in Dallas, in Texas and in the U.S. This is a new, exciting, challenging opportunity, and I can't wait to get started.

It feels very freeing to have sought this opportunity and had the interest in me returned from SMU ten-fold. As has been the case in so many ways in my life thus far, this great thing happened at just the right time and for all the right reasons. I feel so blessed.

Freedom - we may think we have it because there are no visible chains and no obvious mental control, but freedom is something we feel in our hearts. I know because today my heart soars unbound and overjoyed!!

This poem is dedicated to all of the women in my life who offer so much of what this poem says and stands for in my life. And "thank you" to my Aunt Pam for sending this to me today and reminding me all that I have as a woman, all that I know, as well as what I don't.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

something perfect to wear if the employer
or date of her dreams

wants to see her in an hour.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a youth she's content to leave behind.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

one friend who always makes her laugh

and one who lets her cry.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

eight matching plates,

wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder

and when to walk away.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips

or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect,

but it's over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone even if she doesn't like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't

and why she shouldn't take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go-

be it to her best friend's kitchen table

or a charming inn in the woods-

when her soul needs soothing.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month and a year.

-Maya Angelou

Girl Crushes

I'm not shy about it, attraction is a big part of being human, and it's a big part of who I am. It's primal and natural and nothing to be ashamed of. One can be attracted to another for various reasons, but most of the time it's a vibe and a first impression or just looks. Of course, as a heterosexual female, I am expected to drool over the George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Mike Modano types, but I also have a true appreciation for the female gender, particularly because women are beautiful creatures and I know what goes into making oneself look desirable and be desired. Hence, my two latest girl crushes...Gwen Stefani & Fergie.

Gwen Stefani has always been a personal favorite as she has very unique style and is a rocking entertainer, but lately, particularly her look in her video "4 in the Morning" has grabbed my attention. She has flawless skin, perfect lips, intriguing eyes and she is captivating.

Fergie, on the other, is new on the scene for me. I always respect a woman who can hold her own in a group dominated by men, like the rowdy Black Eyed Peas, but she has since taken on a new aura of mystery with her latest single, that I love, "Big Girls Don't Cry." I have to pull up that video on Yahoo! a couple of times a week to hear that song. Fergie is obviously sexy and hot, but also vulnerable and interesting. She's my latest in the long line of celebrity girl crushes.

As for who has come before Gwen and Fergie, my taste seems quite eclectic...Angie Harmon, Jessica Simpson and Angelina Jolie. All of these women are beautiful in their own way and I admire their unique styles and sex appeal. All of them make me say, "Hooray for being a woman!!"

My husband suggested I recount the events of the last couple of weeks in "chapters" since it all feels so overwhelming to just throw out here. I think I will tackle it all at once and get it over with, as that's my nature, but I will do so in short snip-its as opposed to my usual long-winded, dramatic way. I will also do my best to look at the bright side of some of the more tough obstacles presented to us lately.

Since July 1, I am grateful for...

-the credit cards that offer low, low interest convenience checks.

-the brand, new four-ton air conditioning unit to cool our downstairs during the hot, hot, hot months in Texas.

-our really great friends, the Newby's, who are willing to stay with our dogs while we are out of town and withstand sauna-like conditions in our home when both of our A/C units break down.

-an enhanced opportunity to get new windows installed in our home now that one of them has been completely broken out and boarded up.

-finding the water problem in our home before TOO much damage was done.

-a nice, honest handyman willing to work on Saturdays and Sundays and Mondays at last minute notice.

-a very intelligent, very helpful friend that is an engineer who is willing to help us with our major home repair issues.

-zero interest and zero payments for a long, long time.

-new carpet (pebble beach) and new master bedroom furniture (Malibu collection)-YEA!!!

-Pedro and Eric, with Empire Today.

-the person(s) who invented gutters.

-the hot, hot, hot summer months that finally arrived after SO MUCH RAIN!

-not needing flood insurance and having insurance that covers plumbing problems should we ever have them.

-not having any plumbing leaks contributing to the water problems in our home.

-getting our financial and personal files in order and organizing our home office.

-the prospect of starting a new career adventure.

-meeting fellow fundraising professionals and others that I truly admire and respect at my alma mater.

-my husband's moonlighting gig.

-O'Neill Culinary Adventures' first client.

-my dentist who gave me my very own first "crown" this week and didn't hurt me one bit.

-baby gates that keep our furry companions contained and our new carpet clean as a whistle.

-Suavitelle, which keeps my clothes smelling great, keeps static cling at bay and, as I've recently learned, helps keep mosquitoes away!

-Target, where I shop for EVERYTHING, and go for true retail therapy when things get overwhelming.

-having family and friends who genuinely value my elementary scrapbooking skills enough to ask me to put together photo albums for their important life events.

-a new bikini I feel really cute in.

-being able to read what ever I want for eight whole weeks while I'm out of school.

-summer TV obsessions: The Closer & Age of Love.

-the "A" and the "B+" I received for my two summer school courses. (I am learning to be just as greateful for "Bs" as I am for "As".)

-me and Greg's ability to get through some tough times, feeling like we're really a team and that we can do anything together.

-new nephews and other special, new additions being born and to be born all around us.

-a place and people who truly appreciate my husband's abilities and talents and gave him a promotion.

-Aunt Kay who really listens, really cares and calls to check on us when she knows things are crazy and who can talk and talk and help me forget my woes.

-my Mother's advice: "always keep a little something for yourself, never give all of yourself away to others."

-medical advances that have truly saved and improved the lives of some very important people recently. (Lois, I am praying for you and hoping good news continues to light your path. Jenn & Sara, you know I love you both and I'm always here for you.)

-my friends who always make me feel like my problems are just as important as their problems and can give sympathy and a good laugh to help soothe better than anyone else in my life.

-my home.

Just 1 mph Over a Turtle Trot

You know, it's interesting how things turn out when you do your best not to get anxious or worried about how things will turn out. Over the last year, I have been through some trying times with one particular member of my family. I did not do anything to deserve the negativity, I was true to myself and still stand behind my decisions. I wasn't sure we would be able to get through the problems to try and have some sort of peace and acceptance of one another. Going into this past weekend, I really had no expectations, except that I was going to enjoy myself and enjoy time with my family. Because I am willing to let go and move on, I think things worked out nicely.

Friday, Greg and I boarded a plane to Houston, my hometown. We got to H-town and rented an awesome soft top Jeep Wrangler for the weekend. We immediately pulled the top down and enjoyed the warm sun and the cool breeze that all of this Southern rain has brought to a typically sweltering city. We arrived at my Dad's to find an oasis of food, fun and tropical greenery surrounding the pool. Greg, Dad and I sat by the pool talking and I so enjoyed hearing my husband and my father trade stories through laughter and smiles. That time with them was a true gift. My Dad has such a big heart and is always up for a good time, and it's contagious. Soon after we arrived, my step-mother, my sister, two nephews, niece and brother-in-law all arrived to join the pool party. The whole clan was happy and giggly and down with the watergun fights. I was so happy to be there. We ate tasty hamburgers, hot pickles and chips and Greg and I were happy as clams feeling like we belonged and like things were good in the world.

Upon leaving Dad's, we headed home, or at least the place I think of as home, my grandparents' house. They were wide awake eagerly awaiting our arrival and my grandmother had baked homemade chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies...what a way to be welcomed in!! As usual, time with my grandparents brings only joy and happiness. They allow us to just be, relax, do what we want, and that means a lot to us since we are constantly on the go most of the time. When we're at their house, we move at their speed...just 1 mile per hour over a turtle trot.

Saturday we awoke to the smell of bacon, country sausage, gravy, biscuits and eggs cooking. YUM! We had breakfast and then relaxed around the house. Mom was there diving right in to one of the books I brought her to read-one I felt was life-changing ("Same Kind of Different as Me") and she agrees (see www.miaspeaks.blogspot.com). That's one of the many things I love about my Mom: she's an avid reader and she tackles her reading as she does everything else in her life - with gusto!! I was into a really good book, as well, so I could appreciate her time alone outside on the swing just reading and reading. Anyway, Saturday afternoon I dropped Greg off with my Dad so they could have some guy time playing poker and I went off on my own to shop a little. I bought a few things and had a great time returning to my grandparents' house to show them all I'd bought. Baba "oohed and aahed" over my purshases and Gege gave me a few "hmm, that's cute." My grandparents always make me feel as though what I have to say is the most important thing in the world, even if it's about a $13.00 t-shirt!! So cool. I then got dressed for dinner with Mom and felt like I looked damn good, if I do say so myself! (wink, wink!) I went to pick Greg up, which was a challenge since he and Dad were having so much fun, but I didn't mind because I really feel as though Greg and Dad bonded for the first time in the seven years we've been together. After Greg was dragged from the bar and our 'good-byes' were given to all the new friends Greg had made, we met Mom at our first stop of the night for the "best calamari ever" in my Mom's book. It was pret-ty yummy!! Then it was on to one of my very favorite restaurants-Vincent's. Dinner was good and I always enjoy time with Spicy, but after a long day/night, it was time to get my husband to beddy-bye!

After sleeping in on Sunday, we had donuts and kolaches, and just laid around again. Greg got caught up in an old favorite on TV - the Godfather trilogy and I spent some time with an old friend of the family whom my family also works with. Ed was full of cheer and sly expressions, always one for good conversation. I enjoyed him so much. We ate an indulgent Southern lunch of chicken fried steak, mac 'n cheese and lots of Southern veggie dishes followed up by the show stealer - peach cobbler!! Wow, I'll be running for weeks trying to get all that digested, but what a treat. Following lunch, it was just the family. Mom outside engrossed in her novel I brought her, which is one of the ways that she and I bond and I was so happy that she was enjoying the book; Baba in her chair napping to the sounds of baseball on TV; Greg and Gege in the living room glued to The Godfather; and me, snug as a bug in a rug in my grandmother's bed reading a good book. Ahhhh...wish I was still there now. When I am in Baba's room with all my family there in the house, I feel so warm and loved and safe. A perfect finish to a great weekend with my family. What a great way to start my summer vacation with love and care from those I love and care for most!!

Top Five Concerts

I've ever seen live and in person

1. Michael Jackson

2. Janet Jackson

3. Prince

4. John Mayer

5. The Police??

Number Five is a question only because I will see The Police tomorrow night for the first time!! I will assume they're in the Top Five until shown otherwise.

John Mayer was a fantastic surprise when I saw him perform last Friday night. I know I love his music and his voice, but I didn't realize that I would feel so invigorated when seeing him on stage. He sounds fabulous, looks yummy and can play a mean guitar. You know it's a great performance/performer when the songs unknown to you are just as enjoyable as the radio favorites.

Tomorrow night I will experience a monumental event...The Police are touring for the first time in years, and I'll be in attendance at the Dallas show. Though I love songs from The Police and Sting, I'm not sure I would have been as gung-ho about this concert were it not for my husband's true passion for this band. I'll be eager to see if they live up to my Top Five expectations.

Top Five Concerts

I'd like to see live and in person, but never have

1. Aerosmith

2. Madonna

3. Rollingstones

4. Gwen Stefani

5. U-2

All Concerts

Ones I have seen live and in person

I'm sure I'll forget some, but here are the big ones

The Jackson Five (sequin glove days)

Michael Jackson-BAD Tour

Janet Jackson-Control Tour

New Kids on the Block

Candlebox

Melissa Etheridge

Alanis Morrisette

The Cranberries

No Doubt w/ Bush

George Strait

Reba McEntire

Garth Brooks

Dixie Chicks

Vanilla Ice

Tone Loc

Chuck Negron-The Voice of Three Dog Night

Sting

Pearl Jam

Elton John

Prince

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw

Rascal Flatts

Van Morrison

John Mayer

*If you read this list and see that I've forgotten one that you know about, let me know.

My Good Friend "Ben"

I am engrossed in the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. What an interesting character he was! And what a great impact he had on America, us as a people and so much that we take for granted today in our everyday lives, i.e. the fire department, hospitals, public education, electricity, Enlightenment, separation of church and state, etc., etc. Coming upon July 4, I plan to celebrate our independence as a nation, but I also plan to celebrate a man who gave so much and did so much for our great nation. Wondering how Ben might view our nation today and how far we've come, I think he'd be proud that we have managed to keep so much of what he and the founding fathers intended in place while still evolving and creating a world of independent thought and appreciation. Benjamin Franklin has officially been added to my short list of heroes-those to follow and be in awe of. Why, with these list of virtues as his life's guiding principles, wouldn't I want to try and achieve his level of greatness in my own individual, special way?

Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Virtues

(As defined by me and/or Ben through the readings of Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography)

1. Temperance-moderation is key both in food and drink.

2. Silence-avoid trifling conversation, say only what might truly benefit you or others.

3. Order-everything has its place; all business has a time.

4. Resolution-be resolved to perform what you must; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality-do not spend except to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.

6. Industry-don't waste time; always do something useful and cut-out unnecessary actions.

7. Sincerity-do not be deceitful; think and speak innocently and fairly.

8. Justice-wrong none by injury or by omitting benefits that are your duty.

9. Moderation-avoid extremes.

10. Cleanliness-do not tolerate uncleanliness in body, clothing or habitat.

11. Tranquility-don't sweat the small stuff.

12. Chastity-use intimacy for mutual health and procreation, never to hurt another or yourself.

13. Humility-imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Some Random Thoughts

Since my grandparents have already seen me, and they were the main ones I wanted to surprise, I can finally tell the world about my short hair-cut!! I love it and people seem to respond very positively to me when they see it. Funny how a hairstyle can cause positive and negative results. I have been defined somewhat by my long hair for so long and I just wanted a change. I didn't think about it for too long and I didn't worry about whether anyone would like it, I just did it! And I'm happy I did. By the way, my grandparents LOVE the new 'do!

I shared a great conversation with my Mother over the weekend about being healthier. She and I are re-commiting ourselves to losing weight and taking better care of ourselves. "It all starts today!"

Though he probably won't like me making a big deal, I want to say how proud I am of my husband. He faced a long-time fear head-on this past week with his head held high and all alone. It makes me so happy to see him moving forward from this fear.

I had some of the ladies over to my house for a sleepover this past weekend and it was quite enjoyable. We told stories and looked at old photos and really just enjoyed each other's company. As always, I was so grateful to be surrounded by such love and friendship and honesty. We've all grown into such strong, wonderful women (if I do say so myself!) and we are all very lucky to have one another. We also spoke of those who have moved away that we miss terribly and I feel like each time the Dallas girls get together, we are honoring the girls who can't be with us all the time. Such a great feeling...

Greg came home from New York talking all about his trip and I love hearing his stories. Bagels as big as your face; pizza to die for; bacon, egg & cheese on a roll-so yummy; City Island; O'Neill's Pub in Brooklyn; the music studio; tail-gating at Belmont Park during the Belmont Stakes and that infamous fillie race; a bbq with the fam...but what's the one thing Greg has said over and over again? "You should've seen that Davan! (our niece) She is so cute and so smart!!" He's told me the funny things Davan said to him while he was there, including: "Are you really Uncle Greg?" she asked with uncertainty. Greg said, "Yes" and Davan replied smartly, "Then where's Aunt Laran?" How cute is that!?! It seems Danielle is really good about talking about Greg and I since we are far away and can't see them often. I really appreciate that effort and it has definitely worked!Needless to say, Greg fell even more in love with that sweet little girl during this last trip to New York, and it melts my heart to hear him tell Davan stories. I'm glad he had such a great time and I am excited about our next trip up there together.

My 13-year-old niece, Hannah, leaves for a three-week trip to Europe tomorrow with kids from her school and her teacher. I can't believe how grown-up she is and what an extraordinary opportunity she has to go on this trip!! I know she is going to love it there and I can't wait to hear all of her awesome stories about the trip when she returns. It's crazy to me that she's old enough to be traveling alone to somewhere so far away. I remember when she was born; when she first began to walk; when she was just a small little toddler as sweet as can be...and she still is. She is my wonderful Hannah who I am so proud of and love so very much.

"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup,

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;

Whenever you’re right, shut up."
— Ogden Nash

Leave it to a New Yorker to tell it like it is and be so, so right!!

Would you rather be a well-known, talented sports star

or a well-known, gifted musician?

The examples used were Wayne Gretsky and Paul McCartney.

I said I would rather be the sports star.

I think that rock stars are overrated these days and that a truly talented sports figure is something I would feel truly proud to be. I also think that a sports star's playing career has a definite end and that end comes with a level of respect for their career that is not afforded to a rock star whose career comes to an end. I'd much rather be a retired sports figure than a washed up rock star. Now, of course, I'm taking this question beyond what is implied above, but this is what I think of when I compare the two. I would also prefer the laid back celebrity that someone like Gretsky enjoys, rather than the pendemonium that a rock star, like McCartney, creates. Sports stars are much less likly to be in the tabloids and are less scrutinized for where they go, what they do and how they spend their money. Sports stars are also seen more often as role models because they often times are symbols of health, wellness, team work, overcoming physical pain and mental limits and so many now are part of the new wave of charity work.

That's my story!!

Weekend Warriors

It's kind of hard to describe the color malted milk. It's kind of a creamy white-beige, very neutral and very different from the blueberry that was on the walls before. I'm speaking of the recent renovation of our second upstairs bedroom, previously called "my study." Hubby and I got a wild hair last Saturday morning and decided that we would produce our own series of "Weekend Warriors" over the Memorial Day weekend by replacing the flooring, painting the walls, repairing a large gaping hole in one wall and painting all of the trim in "my study."

This seemed like a fantastic idea until hubby and I were getting into heated debate about whether to "use the spacers" or "not use the spacers" once the project began on Saturday morning. See we were installing one of those glueless wood floors that is supposed to simply snap into place with a tap from a rubber mallet, but those first few rows of flooring are a beating to install. You have to put it down just right and hold it into place; it's definitely a two-person job. Sounds like fun, right? Well, it didn't start off as very fun! Once we got the hang of it, about two hours into the actual flooring part we were alright. The two hours doesn't count the time it took to remove the trim along the bottom of the walls, rip out the disgusting carpet and padding, nail down the popped up sub-flooring, sweep the subflooring repeatedly and then lay down the moisture/sound barrier. What were we thinking?!?! After we got about half-way through the floor installation, and had popped the tops off our first beers of the day, we were feeling pretty damn good about ourselves. The flooring project was complete in about a day and a half, the walls and trim then were finished up after that. The whole project-floors, walls and all-took us from Saturday to Monday evening with a few breaks for food and one evening party. Pretty good for an amateur husband & wife team, eh? Now the room looks so nice that we don't want to put any of the old furniture back in it. We want new furniture that looks as good as the room does. Every night on our way to our bedroom, we look into our new "professional-looking suite" and just smile in appreciation.

I really enjoy these spur-of-the-moment home projects with Greg. We are a really great team and, luckily, we're both relatively thick-skinned when it comes to our heated debates. We get into it and get over very quickly, only to smile at one another when an obstacle is overcome and the heated debate has cooled. The best part of all? Standing back and admiring one's work wrapped in the arms of your husband, your best friend, your partner. Weekend Warriors? No, just the O'Neills at it again!!

You know, I have always been a realist, quite skeptical of miracles, but lately I am beginning to open up my heart and mind to finding the miracles in all things large and small. There have been several recent pieces of news that I have heard about-specifically pregnancies-that I believe show me that miracles really do happen all around us. I realize now that getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term isn't something to be taken lightly. It doesn't "just happen." It is a miracle and I am so glad that I am able to see that now. I really think that things happen in our lives and we may not ever know the reason, but we should try and find the message and the blessing in everything. I am in no way trying to rationalize horrible tragedies or the pain of loss and grief, but I think all things come into our lives for a reason and we can choose how we want to allow those things to affect us. I choose to allow these promises of new life to affect me as proof of life's miracles. How's that for pragmatic idealism?

In other news, I am in the midst of a three-week break from school before my one-month summer session begins next Thursday. I am enjoying my time for myself and my time each night with Greg. I find that we enjoy each other more fully when we can share our days with one another and then relax together at home. The spring weather is enticing, but the allergies and mosquitos make this time of year a real challenge for this girl!! I am pushing through it and trying to enjoy the outdoors as much as I can.

Things at work are going well. I attended a fundraising workshop yesterday with some co-workers and really, really enjoyed it. The speaker was very knowledgable and really knew how to revv up the crowd. I feel a real pull toward the fundraising path, which is very different from my current role in communications, so I'll be interested to see how the next few months unravel with my boss leaving and my new supervisor taking over. Should make for an interesting summer!!

Sad, sad news of the loss of my Mother's best friend's husband. She is there for her friend, her rock, during a time of overwhelming grief and confusion. I can't imagine losing one's spouse and I feel as though my heart will break when I think of what she must be going through. Luckily, in this newfound pragmatic optimism, I feel as though when something terrible happens, there must be something wonderful that occurs to take its place. How else could we get through things like this?

Greg takes New York in t-minus 12 days!! He hasn't been home alone since 2002, I believe. I am excited for him to spend time with family and friends on his own. I know he'll have a wonderful time and he'll return feeling great. I am happy that we are able to plan such travels.

Well, I think that's about it for now. Hoping you find the miracles-large and small-in every day!!!

"There is no other closeness in human life like the closeness between a mother and her baby." — Susan Cheever

Funny how this quote should be delivered into my e-mail Inbox this morning because I think about motherhood...A LOT!! I see pregnant women and smile; I play peek-a-boo with children I encounter; I even watch mothers and their teens as they speak with one another...or don't speak to one another whatever the case may be. Motherhood is a wonderful blessing and such a mystery. I have such a respect for it and yet I don't completely understand it because I am not a mother. I adore my nieces and nephews and I feel unconditional love for them, but I know when I have my own children, it will be so much deeper, so much more than I could ever imagine. I am ready for that closeness; I am ready for that bond that can never be broken; I am ready to be a Mother.

Ever have one of those "avoidance days" when you don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, you just want to curl up on the couch and read a book or watch a TV show? I'm having one of those days and both of those activities are pretty tough to do when you're at work. I'm not avoiding anything in particular, just everything really. I don't feel like talking or thinking too much, I'm just ready to settle in and be quiet.

I am officially finishing yet another semester of school tonight. Last night's class included a presentation and turning in a 20-page research paper-WHEW! Tonight will be much more laid back as we're meeting at a local restaurant where we'll turn in our last paper and then enjoy drinks and dinner with our professor and classmates. I've had a lot of frustration this semester, mostly self-induced. A fellow student said last night that it was probably because I really only have about a year's worth of work left and being on the downward crawl makes one anxious and irritable. I'll buy that! I'm ready for that cap and gown, the feeling of accomplishment and the graduation party to celebrate yet another milestone of my life. I can already see it now...

Big changes occuring here at work; my boss is retiring as of July 6 and I couldn't be more ready for the changes that will ensue upon his departure. I've been hoping for his retirement because I'm ready for more leadership and more growth, neither of which my current boss was prepared to be a part of. If I am to remain with this organization, I really need to make some adjustments so that I can feel more invested and more a part of what we do here. I am eager to see how things will turn out.

With the summer months upon me and the swimming pools a'calling, I vowed to re-commit myself to exercise and eating right. It comes and goes in spurts. I get excited and really tackle it and then I hit a slump and all I can think is, "I just don't want to think about this anymore!" I wish it was all second nature, but it's not. I don't just want to look good and feel good, I want to be the person I desire to be...the whole package. A package that smiles and laughs more than sulks and whines; a package that gets things accomplished and feels proud of each day as it comes to a close; a package that loves and is lovable.

Working on the package!!