Strange things...

-There was a curious squirrel outside my office window for a while when I arrived at work this morning. It seemed to want to come in a stay awhile with me. It stood on its hind legs with it's front paws on the window just staring in at me.

-I saw and experienced my first real wrinkle. It's a crease more than a wrinkle and it's in my forehead. It didn't really bother me when I first saw it, I felt more like, "Aha, that's what people are talking about..." But it seems to grab my eye every time I look in the mirror now. I ask myself, "How did that get there? Will it always be there? Will this become something I'll fret over like so many other women?"

-I attended my first yoga/pilates fusion class at the SMU gym and ended up being the only participant to show up. So, I received a private lesson. It was intimidating and cool and a great workout. The instructor was maybe 20 years old, probably a dance major here at SMU and I felt as though he had no worries in life.

-People who don't get up every morning and go to a "job" intrigue me. I'm not talking about people who work from home, or who travel for work, I'm talking about homemakers and retirees. What do they do all day? Don't they get bored? Do they sleep in late when they want, shower only if they want to, eat whatever and whenever?

-I find it easier to cry and express emotion when watching a TV show than when something dramatic is happening in my own life. My latest craze is Extreme Home Makeover. I cry at the previews! I'd like to think this is because nothing in my life warrants the kind of raw emotion that someone who is in such a situation that they're needing a home warrants, but I'm pretty sure it's something else altogether.

-I have always had a sick competition with my Mother over beauty pageants and the kind of things that just don't matter all that much. When I was very young, I would pick a winner and she would pick a winner and if my girl didn't win, I would cry and cry. Not because I cared for the girl so much as I wanted to beat my Mom. Well, last night it reared its ugly head again because my girl on Dancing with the Stars, Julianne, won the competition for the second time and the only other dancer who has done that is, you guessed it, my Mom's favorite, Cheryl. What was my thought when they handed Julianne and her partner the trophy? "The competition is on!" (Smiles, Mom!!)

-People put so much energy into their wedding day - the plans, the upsets, the stresses, the intricate details - but do we put that much energy into our marriages?

-I'm actually, honestly playing with the idea of getting another degree after I finish my masters next semester. Now that is crazy!!!

What I'm Thankful For

It's that time of year again when people come together to give thanks and to be with family. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because one's only obligation is to share in the abundance with those we love and reflect on what we are grateful for. And that's no obligation at all, but such a blessing!

This year, I am thankful for the people in my life...
my siblings who love me and have always looked out for me
my Mother who is all her own person
my grandparents who make me chuckle
my Father who is always so jolly
my nieces and nephews - every moment with them is such a joy
my New York family who I miss every day, especially on holidays
my friends, without whom I would be lost
my Husband, who fights for me and for us, and who comforts me and keeps me close to his heart.

I am also thankful for...
my new job that I love
my new car that still gets me excited about waking up and driving
inspirations that remind me how blessed I am
therapy
massage
dessert
time alone
great books to read
a friendly smile
a hearty laugh.

Wishing you and yours a time to reflect and be thankful.

New York for the Holidays

Since I can't be in New York for the holidays this year, my sweet mother-in-law has been bringing New York to me through her fabulous photos of all the traditional holiday preparations in the Big City. From the skating rink in Bryant Park, the twinkly lights on all the bigs buildings, the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center to the awesome window dressings in all the department stores, she has really made me feel as close to New York as can be. Nothing compares to a Christmas spent in New York City, what a gift to have family there to visit and to have a New York Mom who cares enough to send me a small piece of what makes New York so wonderful. Here I share some of her gifts...

Leaves changing

City lights

Lord & Taylor, choir and lights

Fabulous department store window - Carmen Marc Valvo, a favorite designer

Another wonderful store window

An appropriate part of this great gift of the holidays in New York, a holiday chef as part of one of the department store windows!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hopeful Expectations

I remember when I was a little girl I would pull everything out of my closet 0r my dresser drawers and I would organize things, throw stuff away that I did not need and I would replace everything I had taken out in a neat and orderly fashion. I would clean my room, dust the shelves and vacuum the floor, putting everything in its place. Then, when everything was sparkly clean and just right, I would bounce down the hall to where my Mom was and excitedly ask her to come see what I had done. She would get that knowing smile on her face and follow me to my room. My Mom would "ooh" and "ahh" at my work all the while thinking to herself, "what kind of child gets this excited about cleaning?" It would thrill me to tackle these projects and then receive the utmost praise and validation from the most important person in my life. No, I wasn't destined to be a housekeeper or manager of the Container Store, though I would be really good at both, I just enjoyed the process of getting things in order and then having someone appreciate it.

Two nights ago I experienced this phenomenon again, but this time I was on the other end of the praise. My Husband has a room in our home that is all his own - his office. It's a wonderful room that has needed some TLC lately due to some poor construction issues when the house was first built. Now that the structural problems are fixed, the walls are patched and the carpet installed, Greg must tackle the task of getting the room just right. (Boy do I know that feeling!) It's still a work in progress, but on Tuesday he'd made a few adjustments and asked that I come see the results of his work. Upon entering the room and seeing the furniture, which has been moved around countless times, in yet another new positioning, I also saw that look on Greg's face. It's the look that I would get as a child watching my Mom enter my room to validate my work. It can only be described as "hopeful expectation." I melted when I saw this look on my sweet Husband's face, and I was also literally taken back to those numerous times as a little girl when I felt exactly the same way. How interesting that Greg and I would both get this hopeful expectation over doing the same types of projects and tasks.

We all experience this hopeful expectation throughout our lives. We thrive on that positive energy that comes from hearing someone you love and respect tell you that you've done well. Imagine how different I would be as a person if, after seeing my work as a child, my Mom had said, "that's good, sweetie, but maybe you should've hung your jackets like this instead," or if she hadn't been willing to walk down the hall to see my work. Though I don't intend to overdramatize this, I do think that how we respond to someone's hopeful expectation of us can truly affect that person. So, when Greg asked me what I thought of his new furniture arrangement in his office I turned to him, smiled and said, "I think this is the best it's ever been and I can't wait to see what else you're going to do in here. Good work!" Though my words were probably a little less impactful to a man of 35 years than for a child of five or six, I knew it could do a world of good none the less.

Who knew that I would learn so much from myself as a little girl that would apply to myself and my marriage at age 28. Who knew that the simple praise and validation from my loving Mother for cleaning my room would make such an impact on me forever and, therefore make an impact on those I love most. It goes to show that you never know what footprints you are leaving on another - walk softly and praise often.

Eating Like a Queen

Since last week when my husband began cooking dinner every night for one of his catering clients, I have eaten like a Queen. I get to sample all of these delicious meals and desserts and I feel so indulgent with every bite. All of the flavors meld together into such an experience...I am in awe!

I have to be honest, Hubby and I went to a very nice restaurant on Saturday night for our anniversary dinner and, although our dinner was good, I truly feel that my husband's food is way better. Maybe I'm biased; maybe we share a love for certain flavors and spices, but I really do think my husband's food is so much better than most meals I have in restaurants. Of course he says that translating one's food to two people at home versus 150 people in a restaurant makes for a variance in quality, but I think he's just gifted.

So, here's to my gifted and talented chef husband. I know how hard you are working this week, how hard you are always working for us and our home and I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.

Happy Anniversary, my love. Four years married and it feels like four minutes! Seven years together and I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for who you are and how you love me. Cheers to us as we celebrate our love and our beautiful, wonderful, perfect day on Saturday, October 25, 2003.

Meet Jett!

So this isn't my exact baby, but I'll have to settle for this photo of a close cousin of her's I found on the Internet to show you how fabulous she is. We brought her home on October 8 and I've enjoyed every minute of my time spent with her. I waited a little while before shouting my love for Jett from the rooftops so as not to offend Rocky, the Jeep Liberty that kept me safe and happy for the last four years. I feel that three weeks is enough time to mourn Rocky and move forward with Jett. All kidding aside, I really do enjoy this car.

My vehicle history is short, but distinguished and might even say a bit about me. I've driven a Jeep since I was 16 years old when, for my 16th birthday, my father gave me "Bitch" as I called my fire engine red Jeep Cherokee Laredo. I drove her for a mere five years before some kids out causing trouble on Halloween in 2000 decided to break into her, drive her into a fence and dump her. She was never driveable again. So sad. Then I was given Sahara, a gold Jeep Grand, through the generosity of our family's local Houston bank and my grandparents. She was expensive, but a nice luxurious step up from the more rugged ride of the Laredo. Sahara and I went through a lot together in the short three years of our relationship. She and I sang tunes at the top of our lungs on the long road between work and home on 175 to Seagoville. And one terrible night, on that dreaded highway as I spoke to my Mother on the phone, I came upon a dog in the far left lane of the highway. I couldn't swerve and I couldn't slow down in time...you know the rest of the story. It was horrible. Sahara and I both knew that things had to end soon after that. If there ever were such a thing as bad karma that was it. So, Sahara was traded in for Rocky - the Jeep Liberty. Rocky was special because it was the first vehicle my husband really encouraged me to get for myself. I picked it out, I wanted it and I was so overjoyed with it. Rocky had leather seats, a sun roof, was the perfect size for a lady and I had no complaints about that great vehicle. But Rocky was leased and it was time to say 'good-bye.' I had a short separation period preceding the lease turn-in, which allowed me to more easily part with Rocky. During that time, I drove my husband's Jeep Grand (pretty sure he hasn't named his Jeep!). I, once again, was able to appreciate it's feeling of comfort and safety that was there from the beginning when I first sat behind the wheel of the Jeep Laredo - the car I learned how to drive in. Jeep has been good to me and I'm glad we've still got one in the family. But now on to my new love...

Jett is a 2008 Volkswagen Jetta. She is a beautiful, yet fun, blue graphite color and she has all the upgrades - sun roof, satellite radio, six-disk CD player, leatherette seats and, my favorite feature, butt warmers!! Jett has a fantastic sound system and she drives like a dream. I, once again, feel both safe and luxurious. I'm glad to know this car is one of the safest on the road with it's multitude of airbags and what not. I also love that the trunk is unreasonably large for a car this size. I never thought I would want to drive anything but a Jeep, but now I know there is a car that suits me just as well.

So, though it may seem strange to spend this much time and thought on a new car, I think it's important to enjoy something you spend so much time with. What a great way to start my day than being excited to drive my new car?! So much has happened with me and my vehicles over the years and I look forward to many new memories with Jett.

Things I've learned this week...

We are coming to the end of the Information Age and going into the Imagination Age. In this new age, we must focus on our emotional intelligence - people skills & creativity - if we are to excel as a nation in this global economy.

Children can't fine tune their emotional intelligence with their thumbs working a Gameboy, their fingers on a keyboard, eyes always glued to the TV or with a phone afixed to their ear. They will need time every day for sanctuary to think, create and work on who they are as people and for those around them.

I miss playing outdoors and being creative like I was as a kid. I fill so much of my time "doing stuff" and not "just being." I'm sure there's some deep-rooted psychological reason for this...

I'll never stop being amazed by my husband's talent, skills and ability to wow those around him with his creativity, humor and great ideas. He is already waltzing through his own "Imagination Age" leading me to think he'll do just fine over the next decade.

Being the first to finish a mid-term exam should feel good, but it actually feels damn scary. Oh the power of peer pressure and self-doubt...

Fridays come pretty fast when you're enjoying every moment of your week.

I just love this quote, especially that I'm receiving it today since I've kind of splurged in the last 24 hours: had a piece of milk chocolate with my afternoon tea yesterday, licked the spatula after my husband made fudge last night, had a non-fat white mocha latte this morning and two pieces of toffee this afternoon. Funny how once you get started with that sweet tooth, you just can't stop!! We all need a little sweetness now and then...

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis

Fort Worth & Fall

It's amazing how the season of fall makes you feel. I'm so glad things are cooling down a bit. It's crazy how different 82 degrees feels from 92 degrees. It's been a warm October...a long summer and I am happy about fall. October is the month of leaves changing, people beginning to don light sweaters and jackets and snuggling a little closer together. October is also the month of my anniversary and that of several of my friends. We so enjoy the excitment of the plans and the reminiscing on our special days. Yes, October is one of my favorite months. There's just something fun and electric in the air.

On one of the first nights of fall, I went to Fort Worth over the weekend for only the second time in my life and I already want to go back. A friend and I met my Mom and Aunt for dinner in the Stockyards, which is a bustling area with restaurants and bars that definitely make Texas really seem like Texas. The restaurant we patronized was Lonesome Dove whose chef, Tim Love, has battled the Iron Chef (and won!!) on the Food Network. We got our photo taken with Chef Tim (see below) and enjoyed the food and wine.

Nicole, Chef Tim Love and Me

After dinner, we headed to downtown Fort Worth where we encountered bikers, cowboys, rockers, frat guys, rastafarians and a late-in-life gigilo all at one old music mainstay of Fort Worth - J&J's Blues Bar. Quite an experience! The music was great and I'd say it was a memorable night.

Yes, I definitely want to return to Fort Worth and experience all the other things that city has to offer. For only being about 50 minutes from Dallas, it sure is different and I liked it.

VALIDATION

"Shall we bet on the over and under for how many words they'll change today?"

"I think they might be on LSD...how much of this thing has changed..."

"You've really busted your ass on this thing and they just keep changing their minds."

I've been working for the past few weeks on a project that has truly tested my ability to mediate and communicate between different people from various facets of this new career world I am living in. The quotes above are from a faculty member who really "got my back" throughout this whole thing. We met for the first time in the meeting where this project was first discussed. I had not met him, or anyone else in the room that day, before. My job was to take what the internal folks and the external folks all wanted and make it cohesive and executable while maintaining the professionalism it takes to keep everyone happy. A lot of trust and faith goes into all that. This faculty member I mentioned previously not only put the utmost of faith and trust in me, he has also validated what this process has been like for me through his humorous comments above. And let me tell you, there's nothing quite like validation, especially when you've been thrown into the fire on a $500,000 proposal that involves curriculum changes at the masters level and the approval of people like the Provost of the school, all of the heads of my department, the leadership of the business school and the department that stands to benefit from this gift. Yes, validation is paramount and I have latched on to all that I can get through this whole process.

Luckily, the proposal is complete, has been approved by all the powers that be and it is due today. I am sincerely grateful for getting through this and coming out on the other side feeling relieved, frazzled, proud, scared and validated all at the same time. Strange thing is--though it's been a crazy few weeks working on this project and I've questioned myself and battered my way through--I've loved every minutes of it!!!!!

That Stinks!!

As I look out my office window I see the students and adults walking by with cigarettes in their hands or hanging from their lips and I am reminded how much I loathe it. I truly think smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco are two of the absolute worst things. I've always hated cigarettes as many of the people in my family smoke, including my Mom, so I've been exposed to it for as long as I can remember. Luckily now that I am older, cigarettes have less of a place in my life except when I am with family. Only a couple of my friends smoke and they are very considerate of those who do not that I don't even notice that they smoke, and since the smoking ban passed here in Dallas, I don't even have to encounter this smelly, disgusting inconvenience when I'm out anymore. Thank goodness! Honestly, I just don't get it. The smell, the cost, the health risks...why would ANYONE want to smoke? When I see these college kids smoking, it makes me think that it's being done purely for the rebellion. If you never start, you never have to stop and I don't know why anyone would ever pick up something that gives you bad breath, stinks up your clothes, burns your throat and lungs, makes you cough, takes money away from other, more fun, activities, and annoys those non-smokers around. This is one of those soap box issues for me-I'm surprised I haven't hopped up on it for a blog entry before. Cigarettes and tobacco are good for nothing and they affect not only the consumer, but also those around them and that just stinks!! I wish cigarettes and tobacco would cease to exist and that all tobacco and nicotine addiction would be eradicated.

New things in my life that I find fun/interesting/unique:

-walking in the rain this morning with my new raincoat on--I LOVE my new raincoat and have been dying to wear it!!

-Baby Isabelle, Baby Oscar

-learning about being of Generation Y

-great double dates with M/M Childs

-an extended and beneficial beauty routine in the evenings

-reading the news on Yahoo! each day

-class descriptions, though seemingly enthralling, can be deceptive of what you actually get

-watching "Dancing with the Stars" when I can,

the new "Bachelor" and the new show

"Private Practice" every week

-new friends that make me laugh

-attending new and different workout classes

at the SMU gym

-not sweating the small stuff

-eating sushi for lunch two times per week--YUM!

-keeping a lunch date with my friend, Brooke, every week

-not using car time as "phone time" but as "me time"

-new windows, new carpet and some other new surroundings that make our home even more wonderful for us to come home to, which I didn't think possible

-the simplest luxuries that make a real difference

-waking up earlier, working later

and making the most of every minute that I'm awake!

"In youth we learn; in age we understand."
— Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

I like this quote and the idea behind it, but I wonder if this is really true. I know for sure that after a nice, long conversation with my Mom and Grandmother (Baba) while in Houston over Labor Day that they are at different points in their learning and understanding. Mom being 55 and Baba being just shy of 86, you can probably guess that each had their own take on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I think my Mom understands a lot, but she also admits to continuing to learn things about people, about the world and about herself. I respect the fact that my Mom doesn't pretend to know and understand it all. What I learned from Mom on this trip:

-Love and friendship are great, an integral part of marriage, but sex and attraction is equally as important.

-Every day we wake-up and we have choices. It's what we do with those choices that shapes our lives.

-One of the most important relationships is the one we have with our parents/parental figures.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

My Baba, on the other hand, is not a 'know it all,' but I get the sense that she just understands the things about her life that the rest of us are still learning a little deeper than anyone can who hasn't lived as long. She doesn't get bogged down in the little things of life, like I tend to do, she just knows a few, simple, yet crucial things about life that she understands deeply and holds strong to and that's it. From my talks with her alone, I learned:

-A woman can never have too many pairs of shoes, even at 86.

-Jewelry, hand bags and a new outfit will always bring a smile to a woman's face and a grumpiness to a man's voice.

-Being desired by a man is always nice.

-Baba originated, and still holds to the mantra, "Always keep a little for yourself..." (I just thought that my Mom coined the phrase!!)

-Giving to others is one of the most blessed things in life.

I can say the same for my Grandfather (Gege), who Baba and I talked with later after the Mom and Baba conversations. Baba and Gege don't really question certain things, like their marriage, their faith, their life situation, their past. They understand that what you worry about all your life, or live all your years learning about, comes down to a few simple beliefs, in no particular order, that I was able to glean from this conversation with my Baba and Gege:

-Enjoy life as much as you can, and know that you can't change those around you, only yourself.

-Be faithful to God, family and self.

-Friendship and love are to be cherished, no matter your age.

-You're going to screw up, people around you are going to screw up--deal with it, learn from it, try to do better/be better next time and move on.

-Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it, you can only change how you let it affect you.

-Work hard, play hard. Save for retirement, but don't ever really "retire."

-Pay your taxes.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

So, I guess Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach is right. We spend all of our younger years learning what we can only hope to understand as we grow older and wiser. I am lucky that I have grandparents and a mother who try to teach me all that they already understand in such a loving way. But, as is the way of children/grandchildren, there are plenty of things I am just going to have to learn on my own that I can, hopefully, try to teach my children and grandchildren one day.

"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
— Mother Theresa

My husband had sinus surgery last Thursday and contrary to what he and I thought, it is one of the worst experiences of his life. The surgery went well and took all of an hour, but the recovery has been brutal. He's still at home now trying to recuperate. For the last four days I've done my best to be patient, kind, accommodating, wifely, quiet, helpful, sweet and all that, but it's been frustrating not to be able to help rid him of his pain and anguish altogether. In my powerlessness these last few days, I've found there's really something about being needed. I've enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy, doing the smallest things, like warming up a wet wash cloth to lay on his forehead, that makes the biggest difference. I appreciate his wanting me there with him even when he sleeps, or his allowing me to help him move around long after he really needed me to.

When I saw this quote from Mother Theresa come across my e-mail this morning I knew it was an opportunity to look at this time with my husband as a gift. Needing one another is a fundamental part of marriage and I'm grateful that I am needed and that I can give with all my love. It's unfortunate that feeling needed most times comes during times of hurt or illness, but to feel needed is to feel loved and to give in a loving manner is the greatest gift two people can share. God must put these trials and tribulations in our lives to remind us of this, and I think this quote could not have come into my life at a more perfect time for a more perfect reason.

So much to report, but I'll keep it short and sweet!

We have a new arrival for the O'Neill Clan--the first O'Neill Baby in 35 years. My husband was the last O'Neill Baby born until now.

Oscar Benjamin Joseph O'Neill was born yesterday, September 9, to Greg's brother and his fiance, Lisa. We are so overjoyed at the latest addition to the family.

Two new nephews in one year (We welcomed baby boy, Blane Carman, to the family in June!!)...doesn't get any better than that!

A few things...

-Well, it's been a whirlwind few days at the new job. I am enjoying it and learning a lot and feeling more and more like this was the best decision.

-My husband has "knocked it out of the park", making me so proud and excited for him. He was the chef/caterer for a high profile wedding held over three days out of town this past weekend. From what he has said and from the reviews of those in attendance, it was a fabulous weekend of wonderful cuisine to rave about!! I can't wait to see what sort of opportunities this exciting event may open up for him.

-I am headed to visit my grandparents and my mom this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the long weekend to reflect on my new job and to share a lot of love and hugs with my grandparents. I haven't been to see them since my grandfather's very crucial, very successful surgery, and I'm happy to report that he's getting better every day, he just wants his Claire there to give him some love!! I'm on my way, Gege.

-Having additional work done on the house, which is good, but always a bit stressful. Greg and I are dealing with it very well and I am happy to let him handle it. He's great about balancing a good deal with good workmanship.

-I have begun school and I'm taking two really interesting courses--speech & body language and the interpretation of dreams. Hope I can keep my head above water with the new job and the full schedule at school!!

That's the report for now.

I can't even begin to express my complete and utter joy over being back on the SMU campus as a student AND a staff member!! Who would've ever guessed this would be where my path would lead me? I am seriously on Cloud Nine and I haven't felt this excited and this happy in a long time--particularly about work. Funny thing is, you almost don't realize how unhappy you are with things until something else shows you how good it can be elsewhere.

Almost as a symbol for how things are for me right now, I have a nice, new office with a bright window overlooking the bustling campus very near to my freshman dorm and the student center (aahhh...the memories!), I have new co-workers that I am extremely excited to get to know better and who have made me feel more than welcome here and I feel so proud of myself, which probably sounds a bit strange, but it's really the only way I have to describe this feeling--pride and joy.

All is good with the world today!!!

A Note on My Reluctance

There are few things in life that truly scare me. Fear is not something I walk around with each day and not something I give power to, if I can help it. As my Mother has always taught me, "If you're doing/not doing something because of fear, you are doing it/not doing it for the wrong reasons. Nothing good comes from a place of fear."

Well, I may not have a lot of fears in my life, but the ones I do have are very serious. One of those fears has been on the tip of my tongue, in the sharpest corner of my mind and has permeated my dreams lately. That fear has caused me to be reluctant in writing about something that has been severely weighing on my mind. Until I had some resolution, I couldn't bear to think much about it, much less blog about it.

That fear is losing my grandparents.

Last Monday, my first love underwent cardiac bypass surgery. When I heard that this surgery was going to be necessary, I almost lost my breath and I definitely lost my grasp. My grandfather is an active, spirited 81 years old. Some of his favorite past times are working in the yard, home improvements and building things, so you can imagine when he began having severe chest pains that he was not happy about it. He wanted relief, no matter what. So, when the doctor said that major open-heart surgery was necessary, the Lord allowed my grandfather to forget the pain and anguish of his first by-pass surgery performed more than 15 years ago, and he said without a doubt, "Sign me up!" It's that attitude and gumption for life that I love about both of my grandparents. But I was scared...

You see, there's just something about me and my grandparents, and I like to think it's unique to us three, so we'll just pretend that it is. My grandparents are like no other two people I've ever met, both in who they are to the world and who they are to me. I know I am blessed to have two grandparents around to know and love, but I am even more blessed to have these grandparents.

My grandfather, Gege as I call him, is the first man I ever fell in love with. That kind of love that no matter what, he can never do any wrong. He is a father, grandfather, friend, confidante, teddy bear, rock, comedian, perfectionist, teacher and he means the world to me. Who wouldn't love a man who has a sparkle in his eye, an intelligent word to say, an unwavering faith, a funny spark of humor, is good-looking and loves you so much you can feel it every time you're around him?!? I still get that "Gege's little girl" feeling that I've had since birth when I'm around him, and that is just priceless. He is a true gift...

So, you see, I have been reluctant about saying anything about his surgery until I knew for sure my Gege would be alright. I only told a few people about this so that they could pray and hope and wish with me for his healthy recovery. Now, I can shout from the rooftops, "Fifteen more years with my Gege!!!!" He's all mine.

No more fear or reluctance, just love and gratitude and "hallelujah!"

I love you, Gege, more than I could ever express, more than you can ever know. Thank you for being the strength and courage and faith that I have always depended on. Thank you for fighting for me having my Gege for another 15 years. Thank you to the doctors and nurses at St. Luke's Hospital in Houston for allowing me more time with my first love.

"There are two good things in life; freedom of thought and freedom of action."
— William Somerset Maugham

I must agree with Mr. Somerset Maugham. In the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of enjoying much freedom...the freedom to dream about what could be ahead for me in my career, the freedom to make the decision to stay or to go, the freedom to accept a new job and resign from the old one. And I jumped on that freedom, grabbed it around the neck, flung it around in raw, crazy emotion and then hugged it tightly to myself so as to make it a part of my being.

On Monday I accepted a job offer from Southern Methodist University, my alma mater. The place that seemed like only a lofty aspiration when I was 17 looking for the right college. Fortunately, SMU became a great reality that brings me so much joy to remember and so much happiness even now as a graduate student. I have been given the chance to work for a place I have so much passion about, a place that, in many ways, has saved my life. I will be stepping out of doing communications work, as I do now, and into fundraising for the Cox School of Business at SMU. The Cox School is a Top Ten business school and is very well-respected in Dallas, in Texas and in the U.S. This is a new, exciting, challenging opportunity, and I can't wait to get started.

It feels very freeing to have sought this opportunity and had the interest in me returned from SMU ten-fold. As has been the case in so many ways in my life thus far, this great thing happened at just the right time and for all the right reasons. I feel so blessed.

Freedom - we may think we have it because there are no visible chains and no obvious mental control, but freedom is something we feel in our hearts. I know because today my heart soars unbound and overjoyed!!