"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."

— Anne Bradstreet

Words of such truth are hard to come by and so treasured when found. I do find that spring is such a sweet, sweet reprieve from the dark, cold days of winter. I also think that we go through times of trouble and disappointment only to find that happiness and fulfillment is that much more meaningful. When we ask 'why?' should it not be more appropriate to ask 'when?'

I Can Take a Hint

"Balance is the key to happiness in your life, and you need to work on getting some of your old equilibrium back. Get started as soon as you can. The still, quiet moments in life hold just as much reward for you as the dramatic, glamorous ones. See for yourself!" - Horoscope 3/16/08

On this glorious St. Patrick's Day, I find that the Luck of the Irish is with me because I see the important message in my horoscope from yesterday. I don't usually put much thought into astrology, but after having not one, but three, doctors tell me recently that I am suffering physically from mental or emotional stress, I think it's time I put some serious thought into following the advice of this simple horoscope. I've also had a friend of mine, who knows much about diet and nutrition, advise me to eat more cleanly and stay away from artificial flavoring in my food and drink. She particularly advised against using artificial sweetners. Then I read some of the great book, "Skinny Bitch" yesterday and learned way more horrible, disgusting information than I ever wanted to about all of the foods I love. That helped put into perspective how my emotions and my choices for this body can lead to the physical ailments I am enjoying. So, my St. Patrick's Day pledge to myself: eat clean, breathe deeply and work on getting some of my equilibrium back through more still, quiet moments in life. I'll let you know where this pledge leads me...

"Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire, and judgment — and, for a moment at least, existing for the other person." — Michael P. Nichols

This quote, which arrived in my e-mail inbox last week, seemed, at that time, very appropriate as it applies to my job as a development professional. It is my job to build lasting, meaningful relationships with alumni, friends, students and staff of SMU. While away in Chicago at a development conference, listening seemed to be a recurring theme.

The message conveyed in this quote is also essential in marriage - my top priority. To listen is to genuinely and fully give yourself over to the other person, if only for a short time. Listening, it has been said, is the greatest gift one can give to another. My husband has a real knack for listening, even when I may not think he's actually doing so. And listening to one another has saved us many, many times.

But listening - existing for the other person - truly came into play last night as a heartbroken close friend called to speak with me about the tragic, unexpected loss of her father over the weekend. As I listened to her cry, listened to her tell of her sadness over the memories they will no longer be able to make, the unfairness of his death and just her utter confusion and shock over this loss, I felt my own tears, my own shudder at the thoughts which came flowing from my friend. I wasn't crying for myself, or the thought of losing someone I love, I was crying with my friend because of her pain. I was existing for her, feeling some of that heartbreak with her. And when she was ready to end the conversation, I merely said, "I love you. I'm here for you," and then we said "good-bye." Suspending memory, desire and judgment in those moments on the phone with my friend...genuinely listening, is really the only gift we have to offer our friends during times of unspeakable sadness.

Celebrating Favorite Photos

One thing anyone who knows me well can tell you is that I LOVE photographs. I have book after book of cherished memories that I look through often. My office is also filled with wonderful photos of those I love. Since I notice a lack of photos on this blog in many, many months. I thought I would share some of my favorites here today.

My beautiful, super smart, crazy Mother - Mia, aka Spicy!! Age 18. Happy belated birthday!!

The kid-os:

Loving Jake...

Daisy Davan...

Sweet boy Jace...

Crazy, Cool Carman Girls- Paris & Alexis...

Oscar, the teddy bear.

The ones who started it all...

Freddy, Mr. Smooth...

and the love of my life...

Hannah, who will be 14 in a matter of weeks!!

Of course there is The Fellas:

And one of the best times of my life with my Hubby:

Photos are a forever reminder of the most important parts of your life. I am so blessed and grateful for them all!!!

I have much to blog about-some sad, some glad, some in between.

*Last week was filled with emotion. A little over a week ago one of my Mother's very best friends passed away. Betty Engelking was such a vibrant spirit, one that danced and giggled often with the spirit of my Mother. Seeing them together over the years always made me and Betty's daughter, Tiffany, (a high school classmate of mine) roll our eyes, but we were always secretly thrilled that they had one another. I am sad for the loss of Betty's spirit here in our world, but I am glad to have her watching over us. We're all a little better taken care of with the strength and courage and unique love that is Betty now in Heaven. I am most sad for my Mother and for Tiffany - what a great loss for these two women, but I will always celebrate Betty as a hero of mine for being such a great friend, such a wonderful mother and forever leaving her special mark on all those she met.

*My Mom always said, "You are known by the company you keep." I have heard that in my mind and learned so much over the last couple of weeks with relation to who I am in the world and how I want to be known. I find my Mom's words to be ever so true and upon examining that statement and applying it to my life I think I have some work to do in that area.

*It is really something to be completely in awe of the man you love. I am in awe of his dedication to our home and his renewed devotion to our marriage, to me as his wife and to himself. I came home from class last Wednesday and experienced a whole new light in our home - literally. After all the pain and strife of trying to install the chandelier that would hang so high above the entryway in our home last weekend, ultimately "the chandelier won out." But Greg would not let the initial set back deter him, and on Wednesday he pursued this project once again with much success. His passionate perseverance, both in his home improvements and our life together, is truly inspiring to me. And isn't that what marriage should be all about - inspiring one another?!

*I have the most wonderful best friend. Mandy is her name and support and love is her claim to fame! She spent hour upon hour with me on Saturday and she showed me why the words 'best friend' should never be used or taken lightly. She is truly my 'champion in my absence and my friend always.' Mandy, thank you for always being the very best friend anyone could have. You are a genuine treasure to behold and I am blessed that you found me!!

*Last, but not least, I spent time with two people this weekend that we are welcoming back to Dallas after a long trip to the Northeast. I say it was a "trip" because in my heart they never really left. I am so excited and so happy to have the Shuff's moving back to Texas. I sat laughing hysterically as I was reminiscing with Jenn on Saturday night, and I couldn't help but grin in anticipation as the laughter subsided because I so look forward to many more fun, memorable moments still to be shared with our favorite 'Peanuts.'

Home Improvement Hero - Part II

As I slept really late on Sunday, I could hear the occasional singing, banging of the paint can and movement of the tall ladder downstairs where hubby was busily painting. So much work was done on the house last weekend that I think Greg had a hard time leaving anything alone this weekend, as well. So, we chose a new paint color for the entryway and hallways (Sagey) and he went to work. There's something very comforting about sleeping the morning away while your strong, determined man gets after the house work. I dreamt of beaches and ocean, sun on my face and wind in my hair as Greg worked and worked and worked. It was getting pretty late so I decided to finally get out of bed, though I could've easily continued to sleep. As the day progressed, Greg began getting more and more accomplished - he was on a roll. But then he hit a wall. He was committed to getting a new chandelier installed high in the ceiling of our entryway. It took him such a long time and so much determination and it was almost done when the whole thing fell to the ground. It was heart-breaking to see so much hard work fall apart, and the look on Greg's face was very sad, as well. He looked at me and said, "I failed." Wow, that was powerful. I was mad at the chandelier; Greg was mad at himself. Seeing his utter disappointment really said a lot about this man. Achievement is about the prize more than the journey to get there. I see this as a fundamental difference between me and Greg. I applaud his efforts where he sees complete failure and has forgotten about the obstacles he overcame to even make it as far as he did. I say how proud I am of him even trying to do it after working so hard all day, then to get as far along as he did with only one hand to work with as the other hand was latched on to the very tall ladder so as to keep him from falling. He only saw a failure. But after only a few moments of wallowing in the disappointment, Greg picked himself back up and said, "They won't get me down!" and proceeded to install a different light fixture in another area of the house. I guess that's what can be said about seeing the achievement or the failure as opposed to the journey - it allows you to pick yourself back up quickly because you've disregarded the long, hard journey leading to the failure and it allows the failure to spur you on to something else that's absolutely achievable. Hence the self-confidence is restored. Needless to say, this little study in the psychology that is my husband was important for me to experience. My Home Improvement Hero strikes again and though he can't scale walls, fly or blow fire, he has many great secret powers that serve us and our family very, very well...particularly the power to overcome failure and achieve more.

We're all like little mosquitoes!

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room." — Anita Roddick

I Am Grateful

There's really no better way to begin talking about how great things are going these days than to share my husband's horoscope from yesterday:

"Karma is definitely on your side right now, so you can expect some valuable payback for all the good deeds you have performed in the recent past. You are learning more about how to use these wonderful victorious moments to feed your self esteem in a healthy way, and it will start bringing very important people to your side."

I'm not even sure where to start, but maybe last Monday will do.

Last Monday I received gorgeous flowers from Greg, actually they were red roses and stargazer lillies which were the flowers in my wedding bouquet, with a note saying how much he loves 'us.' On Valentine's Day, amidst chocolates, flowers and nice sentiments from family and friends, I got a phone call that really made my week extra awesome. Our best friends, Jenn and Mark, who moved to Connecticutt a while back, are moving back to Dallas in April!!! Greg and I are so overjoyed to have our friends back with us. What exciting news! Over the weekend Greg and I got very serious again about home improvements. My "Home Improvement Hero" installed two new toilets; a new, beautiful front door with new locks and door handles; replaced several baseboards in the house; installed molding around the new door; and successfully utilized many of his new toys, I mean tools, for these projects. The tools included a pancake compressor with a nail gun (very scary tool!!), a miter saw and other items I can't remember the name of. I was so impressed with my "Home Improvement Hero" and so excited about our progress. Then to top things off, we got confirmation of a very special, very important career move for Greg. Not only is it a wonderful opportunity financially, it's also a chance for my creative, talented, hard-working husband to re-join the culinary world where he works best. I realized this weekend why Greg can tackle home improvement projects like he's been doing then for years: he can do anything as long as he's working with his hands. His mind and his physical abilities are directly in line. He sees a physical project and he just knows how to make it work. It's pretty amazing and it's this ability that helps him be such a wonderful chef. So, with so much good karma coming our way and so many wonderful things to celebrate - the return of great friends, a very promising career change and lots and lots of love all around - all I can say is 'I am grateful.'

It's like a damn florist around here...

I just walked into the suite where the development offices are where I work and I was just struck by all of the beautiful, fragrant flowers that have been delivered, with love, to me and my colleagues. Roses, stargazer lillies, daisies - you name it, it's here. Among the six women that work here in this office, all of us received flowers today. Actually, my husband was very clever this year as he sent my bouquet to me on Monday so that I could enjoy them all week long. And I have!! Even though Valentine's Day seems like such a commercialized day of wasted money, it has always been a day that makes me happy. Between the flowers, the chocolate, the e-cards and phone calls from friends and family, the giggles and squeals of women who've been shown they are loved, it really is a good day. And today's Valentine's occasion has been better than ever for me for so many reasons. I feel very lucky and very loved!!!

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals." — Henry Ford

Ain't it the truth!? These words are so valid for so many things in life. When I start to allow my mind to stray from what my goals are, I tend to see the obstacles to achieving my goals. When I lose sight of what's most important, I am distracted by those moving parts around me that really should have nothing to do with the goal. And I find it interesting that Ford uses the word "frightful" to describe life's obstacles. I find that in my own life, those obstacles are very much about my own deeply rooted fears. As my Mom would say, Ford's words "hit me right between the eyes" this morning!!

A Daily Lesson from Mort Fertel,

Marriage Fitness Boot Camp Creator and Marriage Guru

"The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character."- Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we understand what is meant by CHARACTER.
"Personality" is easy to understand. Your "personality" is how people experience you. It's your public persona.
But what is "character?" And why is "character"so crucial in your marriage?
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
Let me say that again so you can read it slowly and really digest it this time.
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
You see, when you and your spouse met, you met each other's PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you were shown by your spouse your public personas. I'm not saying you tricked each other. It's just your personality; how you display yourself to others.
But marriage lasts too long in too close of quarters for anyone to sustain a public persona. Personalities eventually give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no one is watching. But someone is watching. And that's when you meet for the first time...again!
You and your spouse don't meet the person who charmed each other's friends, bought gifts for each other's parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time it's a meeting of your CHARACTERS.
In many cases, it's not only that you're meeting each other for the first time, but it's that you're meeting YOURSELVES for the first time.
Most people wouldn't be caught dead treating anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most people don't recognize their own behavior. "I'm just not myself with him/her." Well then who is that person? I say, that's YOU...it's your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)
The reason so many people fail at marriage and an attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they don't like their spouse. It's that they don't like THEMSELVES. And while everyone else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their personality; their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most people don't like what they see.
Many people would rather choose to be with someone else than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves.

(Did you get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: "You are as much a real person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage."
Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand.

The View From My Pedestal

I'm singing at the top of my lungs to Rascal Flatts or Fergie on my way to work in the morning with a big grin on my face.

I'm opening my sun roof and feeling the sun and wind against my face as I drive my favorite car ever.

I am happy to get my hair just right.

I love my job, my boss, my co-workers and my work.

I enjoy the appreciation and recognition I receive at my job.

I am so grateful for the sincere love and support of my best friends.

My Mother is so awesome and loves me so much that I can feel it miles and miles away.

I am learning, enjoying life and spending my time laughing, smiling and sharing conversation with fabulous people.

I strive to live from a place of grace and gratitude.

I have the "woo" factor.

I am special, smart, funny, good, beautiful, loved!!!

If I can't crawl up on my own pedestal every now and then, I can't help myself overcome life's challenges. I must be my very own biggest fan, strongest ally, best friend and staunchest protector.

The view looks pretty good from up here...

That Just Might Make the Blog!

I think it's pretty funny when something happens or something is said that leads my husband to retort, "That's going to make your blog, isn't it?" It's become kind of interesting to see what he thinks should or could make the blog.

This happened just last night as Tom Petty and the HeartBreakers wrapped up their half-time show during the Super Bowl and I said, "I don't know if I'm getting older or smarter, but I would've never thought that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers would give a great Super Bowl half-time performance, and they just rocked the house...one of the best Super Bowl half-time performances I've seen!" To which Greg quickly replied, "You're getting to be a little bit more of both, honey!" (older & smarter!) When I looked at him and grined at the half compliment, he said in a half-joke: "That's going to make your blog tomorrow, isn't it?!" YEP!!

My husband knows me all too well; I love good dialogue. It's the cornerstone of my favorite movies ("When Harry Met Sally," "A Few Good Men," etc.) and my favorite songs (lyrics shared many times here on this blog) and it's what I love most about spending time with those in my life. That seemingly insignificant exchange that would only reside in my memory or a good journal entry can now be shared with the world (or at least the small pocket of folks that know me and read this thing) and now that Greg sees what "makes the blog" he realizes the types of conversations that leave a mark with me and, therefore, he is more aware of my smiles and grimaces and obvious reactions to certain things we say to one another because, as he says, they just might make the blog. I'm enjoying this very much!

-I am super excited about our trip to the Bahamas in March!!!

-I really hope we can stay home all weekend, aside from a trip to the gym and some meals, including to watch the Super Bowl.

-I am also excited about our tickets to go see Ray Romano and Brad Garrett perform in April.

-I wonder what sort of hat I'll wear on my birthday this year.

-I am looking forward to possibly helping someone who has recently lost everything in a house fire to fill their new home with furnishings.

-I'm so glad the sun is shining and that before too long the days will get longer and spring will, once again, be upon us.

-I wish I could get a real PINK on this dang blog that actually shows up!! Peach is as close as I can get.

-Work is going so well, and I am as happy today as I was the first day here at SMU!!

-This presidential race is getting mighty interesting: Giuliani drops; Edwards drops...before too long we won't have any of those typical political cookie cutters in the race. I can't wait to see how it all unfolds. I'm getting more and more excited about that vote I'll cast in November!!

-Saw "The Kingdom" over the weekend, the intense movie with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner about a terrorist attack on a group of American citizens living in Saudi Arabia. It was a great movie and it even made me cry at times because of the emotion of it all and knowing that this story is not all fictional but happening all over the world every day. My how safely and naively we sleep in our American beds with our American ideals.

-I'm so happy for my Mom who is once again joining the corporate world after several years of sowing many creative, emotional, worthwhile, amazing oats in the worlds of music, personal life, interior decor, web design and self. I am happy because she seems so happy. She is so intelligent and so incredibly good at the legal profession. I really believe the people she will be working with truly need her and her expertise, her "I can conquer the world" attitude and just her overall spirit in what can be a most frightening situation in their lives that leads them to need this kind of legal assistance. I support and love you endlessly, Mommie!!

-Such an important lesson to learn and share that seems to be so important right now: Your life's passion may be your career, or your career may be what allows you to enjoy your life's passions. Your career doesn't have to define you, but it should add something to your life, even if that 'something' is the ability to enjoy your time outside of work more fully and more gratefully.

Famous movie-worthy quote from the weekend I spent with my loving husband...

Greg said, "Honey, you know you have the key to my heart."

I replied, "I know, we just need to get the lock fixed."

Everyone told me how difficult marriage would be. There's not one person that can honestly say they haven't been warned before taking those vows. Greg and I were not different in that respect, but like many others, we thought our marriage would be different. Or we thought, "Yeah, we know it'll be hard" but we didn't realize how hard it would actually be. At four years, three months and three days of marriage, I realize how very little I knew about this great commitment when I decided to say "I do" and how much I still have to learn. As human beings, we are constantly changing and evolving and sometimes those changes just don't coincide well with our relationship with our spouse. In the midst of what can already be a challenging time of personal changes, we must not only acclimate ourselves but also our mates. I don't know about others, but I know this has been damn difficult for me at times!! And there are also those times when our spouse resists the evolution, I am dragging him kicking and screaming behind me. Believe me, that's not fun, but just when I thought I couldn't pull and yank any more, both of us ready to throw in the towel because we are literally wearing each other out, it suddenly all became clear. I am reminded of several very important things:

1. this person is a part of me and even though that part is struggling, I can't just lop it off as I would merely continue to grow lopsided.

2. he is the man I chose for so many wonderful reasons and it's so easy to forget those reasons when we're in the midst of it all

3. we made a commitment and, though I don't think all commitments are unbreakable, I know this commitment is the most important one I have ever made and I should do whatever it takes to honor and cherish it as such.

So, as some of my family and friends may read this and be fearful that Greg and I are in trouble, be not afraid, we are better than ever because we are communicating; we are being honest; we are loving each other for exactly who we are and not what we think the other should be; we are grateful for the past and grateful that it's behind us and we are excited about our future. We are so excited, in fact, that we are able to share this journey in such a public way. There's a certain element of accountability in that, and we know it. We hope all of you will continue to love and support us, keep us honest and pray that as we continue down our path together, we don't forget these tough times as we truly believe you have to have really, really tough times to move forward and appreciate all of the wonderful things in store for us.

As for that lock I mentioned earlier, we've already gotten to work on repairing it. When we're done with it, it's going to be a strong, gold plated lock, perfectly matched to the key Greg handed me four years, three months and three days ago.

HEATH LEDGER

1979-2008

I wouldn't say Heath Ledger was my all-time favorite actor, but his portrayals in several movies I've seen have been enjoyable to watch. One such portrayal is that of the soft-hearted bad boy in "Ten Things I Hate About You" with Julia Stiles. This teen/chick flick is one I could watch over and over as it's just cheesy enough without being over-the-top. Anyway, when news of Heath Ledger's death came through my office on Tuesday, I was astounded. He is the same age as I am; he has a child; he has a successful acting career, but he has managed to avoid bad press. Why would this happen? Maybe it was an accident, but any time a celebrity is found naked, alone, dead in an apartment surrounded by pill bottles, one tends to think it wasn't an accident. Aside from the shock of someone so young and seemingly successful dying, this occurrence makes me think about how we all try and try to reach certain professional and personal achievements - we make more money, get the promotion, marry the perfect person - and yet we're still unhappy and sometimes destructive. I think Heath Ledger's death is a sure sign of how uncertain life can be. Even with fame and fortune, sadness and despair and recklessness can prevail. I am sad for Heath Ledger, his family and friends, but I am hopeful that his death can somehow be a wake-up call to some other favorite young celebrities (whether they are our favorite ones to love or hate! i.e. Ms. Spears) because whether they like it, or not, they are the ones our children are looking up to, including their own children. I would hate to think that my nieces and nephews are seeing a celebrity's destruction sensationalized by the media and somehow think any part of the behavior is alright. I just hope something positive can come out of something so sad, and I hope when further news of Heath Ledger's death comes out, the media will focus on what may have led to this tragedy and how others might avoid it for themselves instead of sensationalizing the dark side of fame.

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." — Michael Burke

Instincts can be tricky, particularly if we don't listen to them. I consider my instincts a God-given gift that keeps me centered and in tune with myself. Lately there have been lots of conversations going on around me with people in my life about possible change and big life decisions - changing careers, starting a new job, buying a new home, having a baby, making a big move...and the list goes on. I find that during times of decision and choice, it is when we make a definitive decision without much discussion that we are probably acting upon that instinct and doing what is right for ourselves. It is when we begin to question ourselves that things get sticky and confusing. Though I am a talker and one who likes to think about and discuss things to death, I must admit that it's the decisions I make without much of that stuff that tend to be the decisions best suited for me. My career choices, my home, my decision to attend SMU for my undergrad and graduate studies...all of these were decisions that I made pretty easily and have not lived one day of regret about.

Instinct also tells us when someone is 'good' for us and when someone is not. This could be in a professional setting or a personal one. I've found these instincts to be pretty strong and pretty accurate over the years. Instinct allows for self-preservation in so many ways if we'll just listen and be aware and act accordingly. In a world of mass communication, information over-load and having our time fully booked, that place within ourselves that serves to help us know what is best is the only voice worth listening to and the most worthwhile time spent.

Family Weekend

This past weekend in Houston was pretty wonderful. Not only did I get to spend time with my aunt, uncle and cousin from San Diego, but there was a mini reunion at my grandparents' house on Saturday with 17 of us all there together at once. Probably the most wonderful part of it all was watching two of the little cousins, sons of my first cousins, play together. It was like they'd known one another for their entire lives, though they'd only just met that very day. They built toys in the garage workshop together; they acted out skits together; they laughed at each other's jokes and even ate the same thing for lunch! I admit, I got quite sentimental and choked up over the whole experience. There were several of the cousins missing, which was unfortunate, but having so many of us together at once was such a gift. I'm so glad I was able to make it to Houston to be a part of this special time.

Weekend Excitement!

I am super excited about my up-coming weekend. My Uncle Eddie, Aunt Sachiko and second cousin, Wesley, (whom I've never met) are in Houston visiting our family there and I am flying down tomorrow to see them! These are two of my favorite people and I haven't seen them in years. Anyone who knows me well has heard me talk about my Uncle Eddie who is a retired naval officer, lives in San Diego and has always called me "Little Girl." I think I've always held a special place in his heart because he had two sons and I think he may have liked to have a little girl, as well. If you know me well you also know that my Aunt Sachiko who is from Japan is probably the first person in my life to introduce me to Japanese food and Japanese wonders like hand-painted fans and tea sets, silk robes, colorful hankerchiefs, paintings and all the beautiful items that she has given me from her country over the years. Everyone knows I have a real fascination with the Asian culture and with Asian food; Aunt Sachiko started it all! It is even because of her that I call my grandmother "Baba" (meaning 'old woman' in Japanese) and my grandfather "Gege" (meaning 'old man' in Japanese). These are the terms of endearment of all grandparents in Japan. Uncle Eddie and Aunt Sachiko are also the parents of my very favorite cousins, Richard and Kenji. There were times, even though they lived far away, that Kenji (who is only a year older than me) felt more like a brother than a cousin. Kenji even came to Texas and stayed with us over a couple of summers and boy did we have a blast! Every time we saw one another, it was like not a day had gone by and we picked up right where we left off. Not to mention the many, many letters we've written to one another over the years. "Pen Pals for Life" is what we would write. To tell the truth, Kenji and I were pretty enamored with each other. We would laugh so hard we would cry, he would pick on me 'til I wanted to scream and we would share all of our secrets because we trusted that they would stay a secret. Richard, the older, wiser one, was always so allusive and "so cool," but even now when we speak on the phone I feel that same way with him, that there's no space or distance between us. I have always felt very connected to Richard and Kenji and their parents; I always have and I think I always will. When I am around them or speak with them, it just feels like we're family. So, I can't wait to see them and hug them and spend time with them. I am so glad they made their way from San Diego to Houston.

Another greeting that I am overjoyed about making this weekend is with my Mom's new pup - Sunny!! She came into my Mom's life over Christmas and we are both so happy she did. Sunny is a brand new Sheltie puppy and was the runt of the litter just like one of my childhood dogs, Pupkin. Mom and I loved Pupkin so much and her passing was particularly tough on Mom. I always knew that she would have another Sheltie and I am so glad that it's Sunny Girl!! I've seen her once when she was still with her little brothers and sisters and also in a photo, but I can't wait to hold her and squeeze her and play with her this weekend. YEA!! Can't wait.

"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend." — Henry David Thoreau

I am a person of action. Since one of my very best friends has been going through one of the most difficult times in her life, I have wanted to do something for her. I want to feel like I am helping her and helping to in some small way make things better for her. I coordinated a plan to do just that a few weeks ago; I took action. But that plan, though greatly appreciated, was not to be, and I was back to feeling a bit helpless. Since then I have learned a valuable lesson. The very best thing you can do when a friend is experiencing pain and fear and emotional upheaval is just be a friend. I have heard her voice when I tell her I am here for her and she can be as sad or as mad as she wants with me. I have seen her face when I look into her eyes filled with tears and cry with her. I have heard the gratitude when I have said something that has made her laugh even though her heart is aching. Now I realize that my need to take action is somewhat selfish. I want to feel like I'm helping by taking action when this situation is not about me. If I am simply available to my friend, responding to her emotionally, I know instinctively what to do for her and we help each other.

On Monday night at about 12:30 a.m. I got one of those dreaded phone calls from a family member saying someone I love was in the emergency room in serious pain and that I was needed. I didn't even think about it before springing out of bed, putting on my clothes and getting to the hospital right away. I sat with my brother and his wife for hours in the ER while they ran tests and gave very little information all while my brother moaned in agony over the pain he was experincing. This situation was very different from the one previously described because I was asked to help - to do something. It is equally as important to be there during a crisis in the physical sense as it is to be there in the emotional sense. Sometimes just sitting and talking with a loved one at the hopital so they won't be alone in their fear is critical to allowing the patient to in some way relax. My brother had surgery yesterday and he is doing much better today. My sister in law has finally slept, as have I, and this day is looking much better than the last. Being there emotionally and physically for others has made me understand that this is what we're all really here for...to love one another in the best way we can, no rules just right.

I have been loved so much in my life and it feels so good to share that love with those most important to me. Thank you to my best friend, Jenn, my brother, Brett, and sister in law, Tiffany, for helping me see that the very best gift you can give to another is to be their friend and that many times action and plans and stuff has little to do with that.