Favorite excerpts from the book "The Creative Marriage"

Chapter 3: Creative Conflict
"When I am critical of [my spouse] or [my spouse] is critical of me, we are, in fact, criticizing ourselves, because we are now one. Marriage is not a relationship of dissonance, but of harmony."

Chapter 4: Creative Intimacy
"When couples are unaware of God's take on the subject [of sex], unaware of what the Bible says, it becomes a sex buster."

"Sex is a gift from God..."

Chapter 5: Creative Finances
"Pay God His 10%; Pay yourself the next 10% in savings; Enjoy the remaining 80%."

Chapter 6: Creative Priorities
Keeping Your Family Spouse-Centric Instead of Kid-Centric
"I know this book is about marriage, but in order to help [the reader] understand why a spouse-centric home is best for everyone (including the children) I want to share with you my working definition of parenting. Parenting is the process of teaching and training your children to leave."

"Children are supposed to leave and parents are supposed to stay. Thus, the marriage should be at the top of the family food chain."

"Have you thought about the fact that you will have approximately 18 years with your children, but you will have the rest of your life with your spouse? You are not benefiting anyone by focusing on the kids to the detriment of your marriage relationship"

To be honest, I feel like I've gotten the most out of this last chapter, which I haven't even finished. It talks about all of the ways you and your spouse should put one another as top priority and how the kids will respect that and appreciate it and it will help them be more well-rounded and less selfish.

More chapters to come. My husband and I are learning so much. Hope some of you will, too.

Paper Pack Rats

Hubby and I went to work yesterday on getting our home cleaned up and organized. He did such a great job, and we both feel such a huge sense of relief and accomplishment when we take care of our home and our stuff. It's strange how simply mopping the floors, re-arranging some furniture and cleaning out some files can make you feel brand new again. Luckily, Hubby and I both feel this way. We usually don't go this long between Mini Spring Cleanings, but we've both been bogged down in work, more work, social event stuff and procrastination.

In case you didn't know, Hubby and I are both chronic "important" paperwork collectors-magazines, newspaper articles, photos, old journals, new financial information-basically, he and I are Paper Pack Rats. Luckily neither of us is a Pack Rat of any other kind and we both know when to say "throw it away;" it just takes some time and deep thought before that happens. We both get connected to items with words, photos and favorite phrases, and I love that he's this way because it helps him understand me better. As of now, we're also both lucky to have our own rooms to contain our Paper Pack Rat-itis within.

Now, don't get me wrong, we don't collect the same types of paperwork. I LOVE "Real Simple" magazine and I allow the issues to pile up and then I clip various articles from them and organize them into one of two notebooks-one for recipes, the other for basic tips for living. I also do a little basic scrapbooking here and there, and I love keeping my own photos organized. So, I'm constantly buying prints from various events in my life and keeping those photos organized chronologically in photo albums. Over the summer, while I was out of school, I decided some of my older albums needed refurbishing, so I bought new albums and moved the photos from the old to the new, doing some re-organization along the way. It was a wonderful project as the best part of having a photo fetish is reminiscing over all the old memories. Working on a friend's scrapbook is fulfilling, as well, because you know that it's something they might not ever do for themselves, but it will be something they will look at over and over again, remembering a special time in their lives.

Hubby, on the other hand, has stacks and stacks of old food magazines, and when I say old, I mean like from the '90s. For a while, I thought these periodicals were merely a traveling buddy that he took with him from place to place, kind of like a fancy, paper security blanket, but then I realized that he had a system. He was marking the recipes and ideas he liked within the magazines and then would go back, pull those pages out and organize them. (Does this sound familiar???!!! I have found my match!!!) Hubby is also great with organizing our bills, financial paperwork and general household papers of importance. He also has a great arsenal of office supplies-nice, new tablets, Post-its galore in every color, envelopes big and small, pens and pencils-it's a haven for those who drool over such nice, new, neat office supply things, like I do.

We just enjoy being neat and tidy, organized and, most of all, in control of our memories and paper madness when we feel like most everything else is out of control. We joke all of the time that we will be like that character in "A Beautiful Mind" with all of our clippings taking over our home. I guess that thought, though funny at first, is also a little scary, so we take days like yesterday to go through our paperwork and make sure our quirk doesn't become our burden.

So, here's to finding your perfect match, throwing out the burdens, doing a little re-arranging and feeling brand new again....together.

I have so much to share from the book "The Creative Marriage" as I am about 70 pages into it, at about chapter five, I believe. It is such a great guide. I forgot to bring the book to work to quote directly from it, but I'll be sure to blog about it very soon.

September Bear

On another note, this has been a long and "bearish" week (See miaspeaks.blogspot.com) for me. Every day when I have gotten home from work, I have felt beat down, anxious and fatigued. Consequently, exercise didn't enter into the equation, I ate anything and everything I desired, both of which, in turn, caused me to sleep poorly. Why do we do this to ourselves? We know what makes us feel bad on the inside and the outside, but we do it anyway, making what is already a rough time much worse. Hmmm...human behavior, very interesting.Well, since I've now had my little "confession" here, I have to commit to turning this behavior around now. I just realized last night that September is quickly slipping away and I have two very important weddings and related celebrations in two and a half weeks! I had planned to be feeling my very best, looking my very best for these events, so it is time to get on that!!!

A Fence

In other news, my husband and I have decided to make a very large purchase...not a car, or a house, not a TV or another electronic device, but a new six foot, board on board, cedar fence with decorative caps and two decorative doors. Funny how you can get so excited about something as an adult and a homeowner that you wouldn't even spend two moments thinking about as a young person. This fence is a symbol of so much more to me than wood and hinges and a protected yard. This fence is a symbol of a beautiful place for me and my family to sit outdoors, sipping lemonade, or a place for me to sit alone, enjoying the light breeze while reading a good book. It symbolizes peace of mind for us and protection for our precotious dogs that have been exiting the yard lately to roam the neighborhood. It also symbolizes the beginning of what will be a place of squeals and giggles, excited playfulness of those little ones to come. Yes, it is a fence, but for me it is so much more.

Hobbies

My husband tells me that one's hobbies should hold some sort of significance, for example, playing a sport or doing an activity which gets the body going is a hobby; being creative through art, skill or action can be a hobby.

Watching TV is not a hobby. Playing video games is not a hobby. Collecting items purely for your own enjoyment is not a hobby.

Now this is purely his opinion, so don't take offense. I've learned this simply through listening to his assessments of my own so-called hobbies:

scrapbooking (hobby), shopping (not a hobby),

dance classes (hobby), wine-tasting (not a hobby),

reading novels (hobby), collecting Limited Edition Barbie dolls (not a hobby),

yoga (hobby), traveling (not a hobby).

Well, the dictionary says something contrary to my husband's definition of a "hobby."

hob*by (noun)
1. an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.

2. to concern oneself excessively with a favorite notion or activity.

To me, this means a hobby is whatever you would like it to be, whatever interests you.

So, I am going to get on eBay and look for my latest hobby...an old time, super fun Nintendo. Not to worry, this new hobby won't hinder me from my other "hobbies": scrapbooking, shopping, dance classes, wine-tasting, reading novels, collecting Limited Edition Barbie dolls (a family tradition, by the way), yoga and traveling. I'll just add it to the pile of all my other hobbies and "not-so-hobby" hobbies.

I am super excited about the fall line-up of TV shows this year.
In a perfect world, I could get everything done for work, school and play and still be able to watch the following shows each week, starting this fall:

Oprah
Cold Case
Without a Trace
The Bachelor Rome
Studio 60 (NEW!)
Law & Order: SVU
Boston Legal
King of Queens
Grey's Anatomy
Six Degrees (NEW!)
Law & Order
20/20

I know I shouldn't be so "into" TV, but I get excited by the legal/police dramas, and the shows that make me laugh (King of Queens) and cry (Grey's Anatomy). I also enjoy certain shows that my husband and I can watch together (American Idol/Rock Star), and the shows that friends and I can chat about, sharing the fact of how much we enjoy them in common (most of the above). I guess TIVO will have to work overtime this season as "having the time" becomes "making the time" in the busiest time of our lives.

Happy TV Watching!!!

Rock and Roll Dramatics

I know I'm a week behind because I TIVO Rock Star Supernova and don't ever watch it live, but I have to comment on the fact that Storm Large was kicked off the show. She is so awesome and so much better than Dilana, who is now one of my least favorites. Storm has so much more talent than Lukas OR Magni. I really wanted to see Storm and Toby go head to head as they are my F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E-S!! I am so disappointed. If Toby doesn't win this, I am not watching the show next season. (OK, that's a bit dramatic, but it's a rock and roll show, if that's not drama, I don't know what is. I'm just living in the genre.)

As a side note, how about Tommy Lee continuing to tour with Motley Crew and Aerosmith while he's taping this show?! I would give my left arm to see that concert!!! (Again with the rock and roll drama, can't help myself!)

Familial Drama

"When drama is familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic."

Shhh...don't tell anyone, but I think it's beginning to look a lot like FALL!!

The temperature dropped from 105 to 86 (huge change for Dallas, Texas!!!) and the wind is blowing and I am back out in the 'hood for my daily walks. I can't wait to pack away my swimsuits, shorts and tank tops and replace them with my wool pants and sweaters. I am sad about putting away my big white purse, but I can't wait to carry my big black bag or my medium-sized brown and taupe bag. I am a brown-wearing fanatic, so fall suits me just fine!!

But, Shhh...don't tell anyone, it just may not last.

The Creative Marriage

(One in a many series)

I am reading a book written by my pastor, Ed Young, Jr., and his wife, Lisa, called "The Creative Marriage." The creative marriage talks about "the art of keeping your love alive" and is a really good, solid guide to remembering your vows and how important it is to communicate, among other things, to enjoy a happy, fulfilling relationship with your spouse. I want to share a little bit of what I learned Wednesday night after reading the first chapter-something I REALLY needed to get on board with:

"Many of us are obsessed with what our spouse is doing, or is not doing, or should be doing, that we forget to think about what we need to change in our own lives. Allow God to work in your heart and mind to help you discover how to make your marriage more vibrant, more alive, and more creative than ever before."

I share this, and will share other thoughts as I go along with this reading, learning journey, because it's a small way to help me commit to these teachings and behaviors. Writing it out and reacting to it holds me accountable and maybe, in some cases, it will help those who visit the blog.

Though this book speaks specifically about marriage, these ideas can be applied to other relationships, as well. Think about a friendship that isn't as fulfilling as you would like it to be. Is it unfulfilling because of the other person, or can you look at yourself and see something that may need to change to make you a better friend? An interesting way to look at things, I think. We are all so quick to judge and blame other when the going gets tough, and we can just as easily point that finger back at ourselves.

Maybe it's the cooler breeze that welcomed me into the office this morning, or the sun that is just now peaking its head up and brightening the day, maybe it's just the fact that I was up before the sun when things were still quiet and dark, but I feel different today.

Lately, I have been having an early life crisis. Crisis is a harsh word for it as I don't feel quite that out of sorts, but I do feel as though I just don't know anything. I don't know why or how or what; I am downright confused about life. I know what people tell me, what I hear and what I read and see, but I don't know exactly why I am feeling this way, how it happened or what is to come. There's no consistency in my thoughts, really the only thing I know for sure is that I'm unsure. It has been months and months of a Pity Party and I'm the only one invited.

Today, I feel a sense of clarity. I've felt lost in a sea of: who am I? why am I? what am I? how am I? Today, I feel more focused and better than I have in a while. No more grumpiness, sour attitude or fatigue. Today, I feel a direction and a path and I want to follow it. The Pity Party for One is over-the lights are up, the floor is sticky, the head is swirling and the cab's waiting outside to take me home safely. Home, where the questions stop and the answers begin. Home, where you may not have understanding, but you are understood. Home within myself, home with those I love and who love me. The Pity Party for One is over, time to send the "thank you's," put away the memories and move on to the next soiree-a Hurray for Me Soiree.

I was feeling under the weather and really busy all last week and didn't blog...not once. After receiving a little nudge from my mother, I am back.

A few highlights from last week:
-A Claritin high that was not so good for sleep Sunday-Monday.
-A much-needed, sleep-filled day off from work Tuesday, followed by school that evening.
-Beginning and finishing "The Da Vinci Code." I now see what the hype is all about and it has raised a few really good questions, but, it's all fiction to me.
-A FABULOUS, DECADENT party at a local boutique where my husband was caterer. Yummy treats, refreshing drinks, clothing and accessories to die for.
-My husband turned 34. He said it was the best birthday he'd had in a long time...Rollingstones, Bob Marley, cold Budweiser, a Bonnie Blue Burger, best friends and a new electric drumset-What else could a guy want?
-Pool time and dinner with friends on Friday.
-Shopping and lunch with my friend, Nicole, Saturday.
-The rest of the weekend spent with family-sister, nieces, nephew, soon-to-be brother-in-law and his kids, brother and sister-in-law.
-Welcoming Hubby home last night from his time away working at the Ranch.

That, in a nutshell, was my week beginning last Monday until yesterday.

I am now in mourning as is always the case when I finish a really good book. As previously mentioned, I became enthralled with "The Da Vinci Code," couldn't put it down for days and when it got down to the last few pages, I put it down repeatedly so that I would not finish it too quickly. Now, I mourn for that attachment, which is now lost, and I must move on to the next attachment..."Angels and Demons" by the same author maybe? We shall see.

Tales from My First Week of a Hectic Schedule

-I started school last week, but had my first full week of classes this week (two, three-hour classes). It's my first time to take six hours at one time, and though I think it will be enjoyable and it will get me across that stage to accept that diploma at my scheduled time, it's going to take a little time to get things down to a fine science.

-I managed to get everything accomplished that I wanted to: dinner cooked one night, party plans finalized, books bought for school, this week's school readings completed, workouts at the gym on three days, my personal reading progressed, gifts purchased, party plans on track, RSVP's sent, etc., etc., but each night as I lay my head down on the pillow, I had that feeling of "Did I miss something?". Kind of like that mother who is so harried that she has to count her kids when she arrives at the grocery store.

-I've been relying too much on caffeine and sugar this week and I need to work on that as it hinders my sleep and isn't good for me.

-Now, it's off to two meetings, dinner with friends and a fun weekend!!

Hoping next week is less hectic, more enjoyable and as productive. Enjoy yours!!

This may shock some of you, but I think I am finally ready to admit it...I've been cooking.

I know, I know...it's not THAT big of a deal, but for me, it's huge. I've been given cookbook after cookbook, recipe after recipe and I grocery shop like a crazy woman because I enjoy it, but cooking has just never "stuck." In fact, I have even been known to say the words, "I hate to cook" from time to time.

The history of this for me? I come from a long line of wonderful cooks, women who do not allow giggly little girls or cranky teens in the kitchen, except to allow them to grab plates and silverware to set the table. The kitchen is a haven for the women in my family, their own special place and no one is allowed to trespass-just sit down at the table and enjoy and be willing to clean the dishes afterward. Another piece of my non-cooking history is that my "quirky, hippie chick" Mother has always told me she didn't want me to learn how to type, cook or clean and that cooking thing was my last solid hold-out on that wish. Her thinking behind that wish was that I would be an independent, well-educated, free-minded woman who wouldn't need to be chained to a desk, kitchen or broom to get by. Well, I make my profession as a writer/editor, therefore my fingers leave the keys only sporadically throughout the day, five days per week. Additionally, I am genuinely excited by the chore of cleaning and organizing things in my life. So, needless to say, up until now Mom had missed out on two of three. She was proud that the third had not "stuck." One last thing that has hindered my desire to cook: I am married to a chef. Though his good looks, wit, humor and kind heart are all part of the attraction to my husband, his skill and passion for food and cooking definitely are a big draw. Why would I EVER need to know how to cook? I know I'll never go hungry with my chef husband around and my family's home cooking to depend on, but at some point you have to rely on yourself for your food and eating out gets really old, really fast. Plus, my husband, the chef, doesn't want to do all of the cooking. He, like most husbands, likes to come home after work to a house filled with an unexpected aroma filling the air and a table set for dinner. And that, ultimately, is what led me to the kitchen, not once, not twice, not even three times, but FOUR TIMES in the last week!!!

Yesterday when I got home, I was running late, felt a little harried from my day at work, had friends coming over in an hour and I wanted to make a quick dinner for my husband and I. Instead of flaking out, like I so wanted to, I went to it and, before I knew it, cooking dinner caused an unexpected calming affect. I truly enjoyed it and allowed it to settle me down instead of making me anxious like had been the case so many times before. The key for me, at least in the beginning stages, is to cook when I'm home alone. As anyone could probably agree with, cooking in the kitchen with a chef in the living room is as nerve-wracking as it gets...even if he's the man who is supposed to love you no matter what.

In conclusion, I feel like this cooking thing has finally "stuck." I'm no Barefoot Contessa, but I enjoy making my simple, tasty meals at home for me and my husband. If the day comes when I stop enjoying it, I'll move on to knitting or gardening or something, but for now, I'm cooking.

"Drama makes the world go 'round, the world go 'round..."

I now firmly believe that it is not, in fact, money making the world go 'round, but drama. After several drama-filled weekends, I now realize that drama is always prevalent and you can take one of two pathways with it: one, use that drama to make yourself and others feel bad, or two, use that drama to show you what it is you truly care about and want in your life. I choose two.

Though I truly believe some people feed off of drama, allowing it to give them a rush of adrenaline, much like other thrillseeking. I also believe there are those that abhor drama and want everything to be calm and happy all the time so they shy away from it even when it would be best to face it head on. I am of a different school of thought on the whole thing. I think drama can create a positive outcome when it is used and reacted to appropriately. I choose to take it all in, make a reasonable, rational decision using all of the facts and then I react accordingly. There's only one time when even this sensible process is not helpful...when alcohol is involved. If someone's emotions are in any way altered, then it's best to merely walk away from any and all drama. Unfortunately, this is when drama is most likely to happen, and people are unable to walk away.

All of this to say, I truly have not had a weekend in a really long time when drama didn't rear its ugly head. I am ready for a drama-free weekend. But all of this drama has taught me quite a bit about friendship. As my Mother would say, "When you find a true friend, hold on tight because they are few and far between." I am holding on tight to the friends I have seen, through all of this, stay true to themselves, stand by me and others, defend me and others, listen to me and just be my friends. You know who you are, and I can only say "Thank you" and that I hope to return the favor someday.

Drama may make the world go 'round, but true friendship keeps the world from spinning out of control.

I spent the better part of yesterday morning with two of the nicest, most down to earth people I have ever met. Some would probably be surprised at how grounded this couple is as they are part of a well-known, wealthy family here in Dallas nad we tend to make assumptions about the snob factor of people with their background. I was interviewing them for work and I was so pleased with how pleasant, honest and open they both were. This couple has triplets-two boys and a girl. The kids, who are two and a half, are adorable...a lot of work and adorable.

My crew and I arrived at their home as the kids were having their pancake breakfast. Three high chairs were lined up in the middle of the kitchen/breakfast room; it was a fun sight to see. After breakfast, I was able to stand back and watch the ritual of getting all three kids dressed for the day. I learned that one of the boys loves the color red and so asks to wear it every day. I love how that little piece of information tells about his personality, and how he's unique from his brother and sister, even at two and a half. Getting three little ones dressed all at once is quite a challenge, but these parents, and the nanny that helps them, have it down to a fine science. All three were dressed and ready to go in no time. I stood back and smiled and enjoyed seeing this family together.

Later, we took video footage of the kids outside on the jungle gym and, again, I was completely satisfied just watching them play. The sheer joy on the faces of the parents and children made me feel at ease. I almost didn't even mind the hot sun beating down on me at that point.

I guess I tell this story because it was an experience that meant a lot to me. Hearing of the couple's long journey from in-vitro fertilization that helped create these special children to the frightening 31 weeks leading up to their births and then the complications that kept all three babies in the hospital for seven weeks, filled me with so many emotions. I felt proud to work for an institution that can help parents with fertility challenges overcome those challenges and of the care provided to this family during their long stay in the hospital. I felt scared and sad hearing that these new parents, having never even been in the hospital prior to this experience, had to go through so much fear and anguish over the health and well-being of not just one, but three, little babies. In the end, what I felt most is so happy and so joyful for this family. I am also grateful that they allowed me, and my crew, to invade their home, their day and their lives for a time, and allowed us to listen and feel with them as they told their story. These people are special, their story is special and all of the professionals that touched their lives are special and I feel lucky to have been a part of this even for one morning.

"Reunited and it feels so good..."

I was in personal turmoil all day yesterday over some things happening in my life. Since then, I've had several conversations that have allayed any anxiety or stress that I might have had over the situations causing me turmoil. Just this very moment, I feel like the planets have aligned and I have lost that knot in my stomach and that catch in my heart. I hate turmoil, drama and negativity. Luckily, I think most other people do, as well, which is why this has worked out so well.

On to the love-filled weekend I had...

I went to two, yes two, weddings on Saturday. One was the wedding of the first friend I made while at SMU-Nikki. It was freshman year and we lived on the same hall in the dorms. We were attached at the hip that first year and we leaned on each other when that "first time away from home" feeling got to be too much. Nikki and I have taken several different paths in life, but we have both remained in Dallas and remained close friends. Nikki is a true, faithful friend that I know will always be a friend of mine. Isn't that a good feeling?!

The second wedding was that of a fellow sorority sister, Suzanne. We have been friends for a long time, as well, and it filled me with happiness seeing her glowing with her new husband in the beauty that she created with her unbelievable creativity in planning each detail of the wedding. We danced and sang and laughed on the dance floor and just enjoyed the happy moments that made up Suzanne and Jeff's evening.

So, after a love-filled weekend, being reminded that true friendships are few and far between so you better hang on to them with all your might and the planets aligning, I think I can honestly say I am, "Reunited and it feels so good. Reunited 'cause we understood. There's one perfect fit and, sugar, this one is it! We both are so excited 'cause we're reunited, hey, hey."

Things are about to speed up again for me and I'm actually looking forward to it. What is that saying about idle hands? I think I do so much better when I'm busy. It helps me stay on track. It makes me feel more alive. It allows me to appreciate the down times.

Aside from work getting busier and busier, I am also starting back to school next week. I will be taking two classes this semester: Spiritual Vision of Jesus and The Sixties: Culture & Change. Both should be super interesting, though quite different, and I'm really excited about them. I'm also strangely excited about getting back into the school bookstore, looking for my books for the semester, standing in line with my fellow students and smelling those hot off the presses textbooks. It's an invigorating experience, I must admit.

In addition to work and school, the social calendar is full, full, full. Weddings, showers, parties, oh my! Lots of fun and very busy.

Returning from our trip to Canada, I feel rested and rejuvenated. It couldn't have come any sooner, especially that last day we took off from work just to sit around the house-lots of napping!!

Now it's time to rev up and get into high gear. Get my schedule and my routine set and make it happen, because off I go!!

"I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..."

That song is how I'm feeling today because I'll be on a plane tomorrow morning headed for beautiful, peaceful, relaxing Canada with close friends and my husband.

I always think of this song when I'm going to be traveling because its one my Mom sings often. She has a whole list of golden oldies that she'll sing the chorus of when she feels it's appropriate ("Baby you can drive my car, yes I'm gonna be a star...", "Forever in blue jeans, babe..." and "Hooray for Hollywood..." are some of her favorites) and I always used to ask her not to sing when I was younger, now, I revel in it.

In preparing to write this blog, I looked up the Jet Plane song, which I've probably only heard in its entirity a handful of times, and I found the words a bit sad, not at all what I was expecting because of the instances in which my Mom would always belt out the chorus and the instances that I now think about it.

I... I...

All my bags are packed

I'm ready to go

I'm standing here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin'

This early mornin'

The taxi's waitin'

He's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

I...

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I tell you now

They don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you

Every song I sing, I sing for you

When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time

Let me kiss you

Close your eyes I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone

About the time when I don't have to say...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane

leaving on a jet plane

leaving on a jet plane

leaving on a jet plane

I... leaving on a jet plane

I... leaving on a jet plane

I... leaving on a jet plane

I... leaving on a jet plane

My body craves movement. My body craves nourishment. My body craves water.

I'm learning to listen to my body's cravings. Not just those momentary lapses when you think your body needs something when it really does not.

This week my body craved exercise. Cardio, weights, resistance and yoga. All of these make me feel more alive, more in tune with myself and healthier. Today yoga helped rid me of the pain that has radiated from my back and shoulders for days. Simple, yet necessary, movements can do so much for yourself. This week my body also told me to avoid alcohol. Drink in the refreshing coolness of water, drink in the aroma of hot tea or the sweetness of my morning coffee. I ate more fruit, more veggies and know that a little root now grows inside me, not from seeds or soil, but from the pure essence of nature's gifts enjoyed and consumed.

My mind craves music. My mind craves humor. My mind craves a challenge.

My mind craves learning.

I feel as though I have known for a long time what my mind needs-but do we really listen and know all of the time?

I need music to soothe, to invigorate and to drown out. I need humor to lighten the load that sometimes weighs on my mind. A challenge can make your mind feel as alive as exercise makes your body feel. If it's always easy, your mind can get lazy. Learning is an extension of a challenge. When I learn something new, whether it is in school and all new to me, or a story that I've read but see in a new way, my mind opens and I feel more free than before.

This week I have watched less TV and read more. I have chosen to walk instead of drive, listened instead of talking, picked up the phone instead of e-mailing, worked my hands instead of my mouth.

Today I feel more comfortable with my body, more open in my mind and more peaceful in my soul.

Connecticut Taco Stand

In honor of my good friends who love Tex-Mex food and are moving from Texas to Connecticut in a few short weeks, I found the following headline from today's edition of The New York Times on-line and couldn't resist it:

"You may never have had a really terrific taco, especially if you live on the East Coast. But the good news is that without too much effort you can, believe it or not, create an admirable taco at home. " (Sub-headline from The Taco Joint in Your Kitchen by Mark Bittman)

Boy is this statement ever correct!!! I had a fantastic taco last night...at a friend's home. It was a soft taco of excellent quality, freshness and taste and it was prepared with ground turkey with veggies and other fat free toppings, and it was just yummy. The trick? Warming those flour tortillas in the skillet with butter (or butter substitute in this case) and using that package of the perfect taco seasoning. The seasoning was on point and those tortillas were just soft and browned enough to make the taco just right. Mmmm...so good, I had to have TWO!!

This one's for you Jenn! Here's to your yummy homemade, soft tacos and all the wonderful things we'll miss about having you and your hubby in Texas that you're sure to make many, many people happy with that you meet while living on the East Coast!!! Hey, You could open a taco stand...

WHAT HAS "YOUR PRESIDENT" DONE LATELY?

DO YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT TO CALL YOUR OWN?

Many may think me nuts to think of Bill Clinton as "my president," and others will simply think me crazy to write about it in such a public way. He is a bit controversial and I do live in a predominently Republican city and state, so this step might be a bit unexpected. But I feel that if you believe in something, or someone, you shouldn't be ashamed of it, so here I am, proclaiming to the blog world that I consider Bill Clinton "my president."

What I mean when I say that is, I engage in conversation about this man, I am interested in what he has to say and what he does, I defend the positive accomplishments he achieved while in office, as well as the great work he is doing now, and I will not engage in negative conversations about him. I do not condone all of his choices, but I also do not believe that one's life should be judged on negative choices and decisions alone. Bill Clinton is also "my president" because he cares for people and he cares for so many whom very few others care about.

I am not comparing this man to any other, just merely stating how I feel about his work and his commitment to the U.S. and the world. And, to be honest, I think if Bill and I sat down and chatted over a cold beer, we would get along splendidly. He is open and candid and has a true charismatic nature about him. I think he is probably humorous and easy to get along with. He is just good 'ole Bill and I like him.

If you'd like to learn more about what "my president" has been doing lately, visit his foundation web site, www.clintonfoundation.org.

Ask yourself: Do you have a president? Do you know what "your president" has been doing lately?

In Scramble to Evade Israeli Bombs, the Living Leave the Dead Behind
The mayor of Tyre, Lebanon, announced that any bodies not claimed within the next two days would be buried temporarily in a mass grave-The New York Times


My biggest concern today is how much it will cost to get our AC units running efficiently and well.

My biggest concern yesterday was a disgruntled individual who questioned me and my decisions.

My biggest concern for tomorrow is whether I have good driving directions to the party we're going to in Austin.


What are your biggest concerns in life? What do you fear today and tomorrow? How does this headline make you feel about those concerns and fears?

Makes me want to hug my loved ones, tell them I love them and thank God each day that we live in America.

"The hardest thing is knowing if what I am doing is right."

One of the neatest programs that my work organization offers is the Mentor Program. People from across all 13 sites apply to be a mentee to have a mentor. Hundreds apply and only about 25 are accepted. One of those accepted this year was me.

And when it came time, I chose my mentor. Some people know who they would like to have, while others only know what sort of personality might work best for them. I chose my mentor and she was happy that I had chosen her.

My mentor is one of the few female executives at the top level. She is smart, witty, kind and she doesn't take crap from anyone, causing her to be viewed by some as abrasive or even mean. I happen to know she is not mean, though she might be abrasive about something she feels strongly about.

Yesterday, my mentor and I had lunch together for the first time since she became my mentor in June. She invited me to join her at a Thai restaurant, and I was ecstatic to see her restaurant choice as anyone would know had they read one of my previous blog entries about Asian cuisine. The lunch went well, she mostly wanted to know about me, but at one point I asked her about something I felt would be tough on her as a leader. She agreed that what I had mentioned was difficult, but then said that the hardest part of her job is simply knowing if what she is doing, her decisions and actions, are right. I assume when you get to be in her position, the black and white becomes very, very gray. I sort of pondered on what she'd said at lunch last night at home. As I grow within my own career and my personal life, I am realizing that life is less and less about black and white and more about gray, simply deciding if what I'm doing is the right thing when it's not that simple.

I truly admire my mentor as it can't be easy to do what she does and be so honest about how she feels in this way.

This is where I'd like to be.

On the beach, in a hammock, reading a good book.

Playing in the refreshing waves with my husband.

Taking a yoga class while in the sand and under the sun, feeling the wind against my body.

This is where I'd like to be.

Cuisine that end in "ese"

(I met an interesting woman this past weekend who told me she doesn't eat any cuisine that ends in "ese," or any of these cuisine's cousins, which originate from the Asian culture. I was flaberghasted at this as I had just, not so many hours before, told my Mom that my very favorite kind of food is anything Asian, anything that ends in "ese.")

I am almost always craving a fresh, ocean faire of tuna, yellow tail and salmon sashimi. I could even throw in some miso soup and fresh spring rolls with creamy peanut sauce. Yum-my Japanese.

I have had the steamy pho with the flavorful broth, rich vegetables, noodles and meats-comfort in a bowl. Steamy concoctions of interesting flavors, and so, very healthy and fulfilling. Yum-my Vietnamese.

I also love the fragrant taste of coconut chicken soup with coconut milk, lemongrass, ginger, Thai spices, chicken and noodles. Or the wide flat "chow fun" noodle with special sauce, tomato, peppers and beef. And who could dislike the famous Pad-Thai dish with nuts and lime. Yum-my Thai.

I grew up on the crispy crunch and sweet & tart of sweet and sour shrimp and orange chicken and the creaminess of crab puffs with cream cheese (though I tend to assume this is not typical Chinese delight). I also delve into the salty essence of wonton soup with fresh veggies and shrimp, or steamed dumplings filled with fun. Can't forget those cute little fortune cookies with their interesting messages and that sugary munch. Yum-my Chinese.

I know I probably have so much more to learn about, and eat, from the various Asian cultures, but so far it is definitely my favorite!!

I guess I just take it as a compliment when I am asked to perform duties outside of my usual realm of responsibility at work. But sometimes I bust my ass on a project, feel great about the work, but feel frustrated in knowing full well that it is work that is a fellow co-worker's responsibility. Because some people are lazy, incompentent or proclaim to be overwhelmed, others pick up the pieces and make things happen. I would feel bad if I knew someone else was having to do extra work simply because I couldn't or wouldn't take care of my own work responsibilities. And what about the enablers? Why does the person who oversees those who are lazy, incompentent or supposedly overwhelmed let that person get away with sluffing their work on someone else. Remember, someone has to come to me and ask me to perform these tasks to begin with and it's not the lazy, incompetent, supposedly overwhelmed person asking me for help! So, what do I do about it? I vent and I move on. I get the job done and know that I am someone that people turn to for that reason and that I am here because I believe in the organization I work for and that, though the professional world is not always fair, I am here to do my very best in every way. I guess I just take it as a compliment.

Lazy Monday

I spent the weekend just as I had imagined...eating, enjoying family and friends and eating some more. There's something about the Southern way and the fact that food is the way to the heart from the heart. I ate some of my favorites and I felt truly loved.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my Mom, my grandparents, my niece, my nephew, my sister, her fiance and friends. A big birthday celebration on Saturday night reminded me of the sister I fell in awe of so many years ago-so carefree, so fun, so happy. I am so glad I could be there for her big night.

Another sweet enjoyment of being back home in Houston was spending time with a few youngsters that capture my heart. My beautiful, so smart niece is still the same today as she was when she first nabbed my heart 12 years ago as a newborn. She has an innocence and a pleasantness like no one I've ever met. She and I have a connection that I truly, truly cherish. My nephew is too handsome for words and he's got quite the wit about him-he made my grandmother smile with his knowledge about and keen interest in sports. My good friend from high school also visited me and I spent some time with her and her daughter, who is a doll. The time spent with these special people in my life definitely made the maternal clock tick a little louder.

As for today, I am full, fulfilled, relaxed and lazy. A lazy Monday...the after affect of a sweet, enjoyable weekend in my hometown.

"...as we always belong forever to people who have hurt us badly, or been badly hurt by us."
-Lost Hearts in Italy, By Andrea Lee

I was reading Oprah's summer book list this morning and came across this title by Andrea Lee. I stopped to read more about it, simply because I am out of school until mid-August and I want to read books that I simply enjoy, nothing too heavy. This sounded like something that fit that description: Italy-romance and mystery; Lost Hearts-love and loss; and great cover artwork. But as I read about this book, which is the story of a woman who cheats on her husband with another man, loses both men, remarries and then thinks about her lover and her ex, I came across this quote from the book. Though my interest in the book began to subside, my interest in this quote grew.

Do we forever belong to the people who have hurt us badly, or who have been badly hurt by us?

In love, have I hurt someone so badly that they still think of me and vice versa? Is it always hurt that makes us think about past relationships and matters of the heart? I don't have the answers for these, but they're all questions that are on my mind.

How does the past affect your present and your future?

Unkind Words

I guess we can all be unkind. We say things about others just to make ourselves look better, we say things to derive a reaction out of whomever is listening and we says things at times without thinking, just blurt out our thoughts without any mind to how it might hurt someone.

I had one of those mother-daughter "talking to's" yesterday. My Mother was told that I said something unkind about another and she wanted to talk with me about it. I admited to what I had said and explained that these unkind words were not meant to hurt anyone, but that they were said just as I was thinking them-thinking out loud, if you will. This is no excuse, and she didn't let me get away with it, which I appreciate, but she also did something else. My Mom listened to what I said that was unkind and said she could understand why I said what I said and why I feel the way I do. She also agreed that she needs to examine her own behavior in relation to similar things. What a remarkable way of handling the situation. She told me what I had done was not right and that it was unkind and that I should think before speaking that way, but she also reined in the "High Horse" by accepting what I said as understandable, not right, but understandable. That's tough and yet so refreshing.

Only a couple of blog entries ago, I wrote about someone who lashed out at me, spoke very unkindly to me and hurt me with her words. As my Mom spoke to me about my own unkindness, I thought of my verbal attacker. It's truly like a circle that spans for miles and for many. I would never want the person of whom I spoke unkindly to know I'd said what I did, I care for her deeply. A true lesson for me: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I am disappointed in myself and I can only hope that my words do not travel and hurt someone else.

Mom, thanks for the "talking to" that was unlike any other I have ever had. What an impact you have had with the manner in which you handled this situation. Thank you.

Happy July Fourth!

Today I am celebrating our freedom and independence and the men and women who have fought and do fight for our country. I celebrate in my heart and my mind not with hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill by the pool, while waiting for the fireworks. All of that is tradition, and I am all about tradition, but that is not the true meaning of today. I am filled with pride for this country I live in, where I can have serious conversations and debate with a fellow co-worker about politics and the ways of the nation without fear of persecusion or retribution. I am proud of all of the people who have come before me to make this country what it is, mistakes and all. America is the best place in the world to me. I am lucky to be an American. Enjoy this day, eat the hot dogs and hanburgers, swim in the pool and look in awe at the fireworks, that's tradition, but please remember what today is really about-our freedom and our independence and the men and women who have fought and still fight today for us to have freedom and independence. God Bless America!

I feel like I'm already there...

This morning a co-worker brought in a hot breakfast for all of the staff-crisp bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, buttermilk biscuits and cheesy hashbrowns. As the smell made its way down the hall from the kitchen to my office, I began to feel like I was already there.

"There" is in bed in the morning at my grandmother's house. Country sausage crackling in the skillet, eggs being whipped up in the mixing bowl, homemade biscuits rising in the oven, cream gravy soon to follow...a little bit of heaven right here on Earth. My grandmother loves to cook. She uses her knack for flavors and creations in the kitchen to show her love. Cooking is one of the few joys that she feels truly, truly good at. All my life, I have eaten my grandmother's food and felt the love in every bite of her food and in every sip of that Southern sweet tea.

I head to Houston next Friday to spend some time with my grandmother who, in honor of my visit, will undoubtedly bake something sweet and sinful, cook up something hearty and tasty and feed me until I am headed home again, feeling loved and fulfilled. I feel like I'm already there...

Doesn't this photo speak a thousand words?

Sun, Fun, Beach, Sand, Pool, Relaxation, Heat, Tan, Friends, Cabo...

Ahhhh...I could go on and on.

A wonderful four days with nine lovely ladies that truly know the spirit of fun, friendship and working together to have a great vacation.

Aside from traveling in pure class and style, gifts all around, the beautiful view and the outstanding accommodations, we also enjoyed the utmost service from two very attentive concierges (Victor and Eton we will never forget you!!) and a very happy housekeeper. It was more than we could ever have hoped for and I am now officially spoiled against a vacation that is any less of wonderful.

Looking forward to the next tropical haven vacation!!!!

Sand and Sun, Beach and Fun!

Cabo, here I come!!!

See ya next week!!

Team Work and Strawberry Soup

What do team work and Strawberry Soup have in common?

Last night, my husband cooked, as he does a couple times each week, for his moonlighting gig. He made the usual tomato basil soup (a fan favorite) and a yummy Greek chicken salad. Then he proceeded to concoct one of the yummiest things I've ever eaten. It was cool and sweet, a little bit tart and creamy and it was the perfect blend of flavors...Summer Strawberry Soup!!

My husband is the most creative, most hard-working person I know. He works more than a full day's work then comes home to make food for his second job and many times follows up with menu planning for his third job all while managing our personal finances our handy work around the house and the yard, as well as handling all of his own laundry and dry cleaning. Granted most of this extra work-work leads back to his passions as a professional chef, but it is still all hard work.

At times I feel as though I have little to offer my husband when it comes to these work endeavors. I DO NOT cook, I can hardly read a recipe (fold in versus whisk?? who knows!) and I don't know much about the restaurant industry. But my husband has found a way for us to be a team no matter what. That has always been his wish-for he and I to be a strong team together. So, what do I do to help? I clean dishes, I pull things out of the cupboard for him, wrap food in cellophane, cut strawberries, write down all of his original recipes and act as the official Taster. In the meantime, I am beginning to learn so much more about food. I am also growing more and more respect for the artform that my husband practicies and strives to master. (I think he already masters it, but he would disagree!!)

So, what does Strawberry Soup have to do with team work? Very little. But I just had to tell you about that yummy concoction and it made for such a nice title, didn't it? :0)

"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." -Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

I have written about the Four Agreements many times and I even have them hanging in my office so that I can see them at any time so as not to lose sight of them. This (above) is agreement number three and, for me, it can be the most difficult one to live by.

Last night I had a reality check involving this very agreement when I was confronted with the insults of someone that is part of my family by marriage, but whom I do not consider family. I handled it well at the time, thinking that she was obviously affected by her overindulgence in scotch and that I really had nothing to say to her in response as her words were so off-base and ridiculous. But after the situation ended, I was torn up about it. I kept hearing her words over and over again in my head, thinking how incredibly rude she was and how completely out of line she was and I was even defending myself in my mind. Drunk, or not, it was uncalled for. So, I did what any grown, adult woman would do when faced with this type of turmoil...I called my Mommie. :0)

My Mom was very supportive. She got just as mad and upset as I was and made me feel better simply through her sympathy. She even wanted to take action in response. I was tempted to allow that to happen and then thought better of it. Though taking action would probably make me feel better at first, probably a lot better, it wouldn't change the fact that what this person said and how she feels toward me can only affect me if I allow it to. What reality looks like in her world is not at all what it's like in my world, but I can't change someone else's reality, especially when they've not been willing to try and get the story straight from the beginning. So, I told my Mom that I thought it best to let it go. Allow the other person to wake up this morning feeling whatever she was going to feel without either of us playing a part in it. A tough choice, but the right one.

Later, as I lay in bed last night trying desperately to go to sleep the words were again running through my mind and I was playing out a scene where I was able to respond honestly and heatedly toward my verbal attacker. After several minutes, I suddenly closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed and asked God to please help me be at peace with this situation. I prayed that I would sleep and wake renewed knowing this was not something I should take personally and I prayed that my mind would stop racing. Not five minutes later I was asleep, having not thought once more about it.

Moral of the Story: The agreements are valid and useful and necessary, but, at the end of the day when you're all alone in that place in your mind that no one else can see or hear, I must have the help of God to keep those essential agreements with myself and to find peace in something so unnerving.

I haven't had much time to sit and reflect this week as I've been busy with work. I notice that when I am busy with work, and the work is somewhat stressful, I don't sleep well, therefore I don't feel as well and I don't take as good care of myself as I should. It's the same cycle that I get into every few weeks, or so.Thankfully, I am able to realize the cycle before I become so over-stressed that I become ill. I got a great night's sleep last night, woke up feeling refreshed and got a lot accomplished at work this morning. At lunch, I went and ran a couple of errands and picked up a yummy sushi lunch, which I am now enjoying as I blog. The fresh sushi lunch is a simple reminder of the week ahead. My week in tranquility, lying by the pool or on the beach, listening to the ocean lull me into relaxation. A week of rest and celebration and no worries. A week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

I have said many times this week that the anticipation of the trip is almost as much fun as the actual trip. I love thinking about the plans, doing "travel laundry," deciding on the wardrobe options, packing my things, making sure everything is in its place. I enjoy buying a new, steamy beach read, airplance snacks, sun screen and travel size toiletries. I have always enjoyed traveling, getting away and seeing something new and different. It renews your sense of self, centers you and reminds you of your sense of home. So, as I look forward to five days in paradise with some of my closest friends, I think of how wonderful my time there will be and I think of how much better I will feel when I return home, as well.

Interesting thoughts for the day...

A clear conscience is often a sign of a bad memory.

Winners do what losers don't want to do.

When you get to thinking you are really important, try giving orders to your/your friend's cat.

If you speak when you are angry, you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Love your enemies-it makes them furious.

The one who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.

Never cut what can be untied.

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Old Friend

Last week I received a phone call from a blast from my past. A girl that I was connected at the hip with all through high school. She was my very best friend for so long. We shared everything. Once in college, we remained friends, but she stayed in Houston while I went away to school in Dallas. She visited me there and I spent as much time as possible with her when I was home in Houston for summers and other vacations. But before long, we drifted apart. I don't remember now why or how, especially the "how" since we were so, very close, but it happened.

Not long after both me and my friend got married (she was married on Oct 18 and I on Oct 25 of 2003), my friend and I began e-mailing. About a year later, I saw my friend for the first time in years. She was about five months pregnant, I believe, and I was overjoyed to be with her again. We laughed and caught up. We reminisced and laughed more. It was a wonderful time. Then we went back to our own lives, we e-mailed occasionally and she sent me pictures of her too cute baby boy. But we didn't reconnect on a regular basis, or even just by phone.

Last week she called me with that old familiar giggle in her voice. She left me a voice message saying she'd heard one of our favorite bands, Aerosmith, on the radio and that it made her think of me. She had to call and tell me how much she misses our carefree times from high school. Times when our hair, make-up and clothing was more important than much else. Times when we didn't have bills to pay. We didn't worry about buying a home, paying taxes or high interest rates. The boys we liked came and went, but our friendships remained always. And as I heard that giggle in my old friend's voice, I could see us there, in that time and place, once again. The car windows down, the radio turned up, arms waving in the air, singing at the top of our lungs...not a care in the world. I was happy and sad at this vision all at once. I miss my friend. I miss those times with her. But I think we can try and have that feeling again together but in a new way and for new reasons.

Safe

A great weekend of relaxation, friends, fun, reading and movies. A weekend of separation from hubby as he was out of town working...good to miss each other and even better to have him back at home with me. It's amazing to me how different it feels just having him at home. When I'm alone, I am super sensitive to sounds and movements around the house. Not so much afraid, as aware and conscious of and sensitive to my surroundings. When my husband is at home, I hardly bother to check to see if the doors are locked at night! I just feel safer when he is with me. There's no amount of money in the world that can buy that feeling; it's the best and it's not easy to come by these days. Thank you, hubby, for making me feel safer. You are my rock and my hero and my security blanket.

Cutting the Ties that Bind

Thank you to all who have helped to untangle me in my life. Please consider this a simple little nudge of gratitude for all that you have done and do every day for me.

"If you read the front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, as well as a line tugging in her mouth. A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and he quickly radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her...a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.They worked for hours with careful curved knives, concetrating on her safety and her freedom and eventually they freed her. When she was freed, the divers say the whale swam around in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushing gently around, she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The rescuer who cut the rope out of the whale's mouth said her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same."

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

I'm so...

I'm so fed up with co-workers with bad attitudes who claim to be "team players," but who don't want to actually work.

I'm so irritated by people who think they can get something for nothing, especially when it comes to a charity event when the goal of the event is to raise money!

I'm so frightened by rude drivers who actually shoot you the finger and have you scared that you may be a victim of Road Rage, making you want to stay safe in your own little home with the doors locked.

I'm so sick of high-priced gas and low-priced cigarettes.

I'm so numbed by the deaths of our military men and women in Iraq and the sadness felt by their family and my thoughts that I really don't know why they are there and why they must die.

I'm so sure...sweating in May?!

I'm so frustrated by not having time for myself, not making time for myself and making excuses.

I'm so over Monday's.

I spent the last four days with my husband's raucous family. Three of them were visiting from New York and the rest visited us Saturday and Sunday from a suburb of the Metroplex where they all live. We ate, drank, laughed, hollared and laughed some more, and I returned to work today happy, tired and with a sore throat from competing with these booming voices and personalities. It was a great time.

On Mother's Day, I had several mothers in my home. It was a special time for me and my husband to shower family and close friends with love and care and lots of yummy food. Hubby made a mean spread of viddles that everyone truly enjoyed. But even with all of the excitement and fun and people around me, something was missing.

My Mother was in Houston for Mother's Day...staying home and enjoying her time alone as the rain poured down outside her window. My Mother was missing from the crazy scene at my house on Sunday. I felt sad not to have her with me, but today, after reading the words on her blog (www.miaspeaks.blogspot.com), I feel so much better. I learned that Mother's Day is just as much about the women who touched her life as they are about my being her daughter.

Thank you, Mom, for your fantastic words about the exceptional women in your life who have touched me in so many ways, as well.

Baba, Granny Doris, Grandma Helen and Zelma...what a remarkable group of unique, charismatic characters. I also thankful for all of you for what you have been and still are to my Mother. You all make Mother's Day extra, extra special for both of us.

I Have An Obsession

That obsession is with photos and mementos of my life. I have a whole walk-in closet in my home dedicated to these items that detail my life and pieces of the lives of others. I have stacks of photos and mementos waiting to be placed in the appropriate photo album based on the year of the memory. I stress out when I come across a photo from a year passed and I can't decipher when it was taken. I have three on-line photo company accounts of my own photos and those from friends' collections that I can order at any time for my albums or to make a photo into a card, or a coffee mug or make multiple photos into a calendar. I love everything that has to do with photos including cameras, frames, mattes and albums. I am a photo geek.

But I really think this obsession is more about reminiscing than it is about the photo taking, developing and keepsaking process. I love to look back and remember how things were, how people looked and what all happened. I think this is because I have had an extraordinarily happy life. My life hasn't been necessarily extraordinary by the definition of the word, but it has been an extremely happy life 99% of the time.

These photos and mementos remind me of who I am, who I was and maybe even who I don't want to be. They remind me of good times, bad times and strange times. I have photos dating back to my great, great, great, great ancestors and I have photos from last week. My photos and mementos make me feel real and human and mortal. They tell me that one day my own great, great, great, great grandchildren will look back at my photos (the thousands that there are) and remember me and know that somehow, in some way, I am a part of them. They will know that everything is related and linked.

My obsession is as much about the past and present as it is about the future. A moment, captured, that speaks a million words to a future generation. May we all have such an obsession.

I'm a big Copy Cat! I love quizes and I saw this on my good friend's blog and had to copy her!! Have fun!!

Take My Quiz - on - QuizYourFriends.com!

So much to post today...

Over the weekend I attended a women's church retreat with three of my friends. It was a great time of sharing and listening. I felt surrounded by love and prayer and it was an amazing feeling. One of the many things I took away from the retreat was this scripture, my new favorite scripture:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

This scripture made me cry when I first read it and these words were the theme, if you will, of the whole retreat. When I heard the speakers say these words, tears would come to my eyes again and again. This is probably one of the most loving passages in the Bible, but it is also one of the toughest to truly, completely believe in at times of trouble. I will hold this close to my heart, post it where I can see it always, and believe in the words, no matter what.

There were many things said and sung at the retreat that hit home with me, but one particular testimonial grabbed my heart and soul and made me sit up and listen.

This testimonial was about perfection-the need to feel that everything is perfect, for yourself and everything around you, to try and fill a void within. You look just right, you do everything just so, you marry the right man and have the right friends and the right job, but you still can't fill the void. Then, one day, you find yourself so overwhelmed by your perfectionism that you look for something to numb that craving for perfection. Maybe that something is alcohol or pills, maybe it's food or trying to remain so busy that you don't think, but it's something to keep you from dealing with your real thoughts and feelings and something to fill the void that only God can fill. When this woman, this brave, strong woman, got up and told her story, I saw myself in her and then I lost it! I knew that this was God speaking to me, showing me that I can make changes now so as not to get overwhelmed by having to have everything perfect, because there is no such thing as perfection and that's so alright.

I am perfect in God's eyes and as soon as I can remember that in the whirlwind that is my life, I will be able to move through the crazy times.

What a wonderful time on Friday and Saturday. I am so thankful to my friends who joined me at this retreat. I think each of them felt touched by something over those two days, and I probably would not have gone to the retreat without them. I am also very thankful for Fellowship Church. How different my life would be without the words, the messages and the people there.