-I am super excited about our trip to the Bahamas in March!!!

-I really hope we can stay home all weekend, aside from a trip to the gym and some meals, including to watch the Super Bowl.

-I am also excited about our tickets to go see Ray Romano and Brad Garrett perform in April.

-I wonder what sort of hat I'll wear on my birthday this year.

-I am looking forward to possibly helping someone who has recently lost everything in a house fire to fill their new home with furnishings.

-I'm so glad the sun is shining and that before too long the days will get longer and spring will, once again, be upon us.

-I wish I could get a real PINK on this dang blog that actually shows up!! Peach is as close as I can get.

-Work is going so well, and I am as happy today as I was the first day here at SMU!!

-This presidential race is getting mighty interesting: Giuliani drops; Edwards drops...before too long we won't have any of those typical political cookie cutters in the race. I can't wait to see how it all unfolds. I'm getting more and more excited about that vote I'll cast in November!!

-Saw "The Kingdom" over the weekend, the intense movie with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner about a terrorist attack on a group of American citizens living in Saudi Arabia. It was a great movie and it even made me cry at times because of the emotion of it all and knowing that this story is not all fictional but happening all over the world every day. My how safely and naively we sleep in our American beds with our American ideals.

-I'm so happy for my Mom who is once again joining the corporate world after several years of sowing many creative, emotional, worthwhile, amazing oats in the worlds of music, personal life, interior decor, web design and self. I am happy because she seems so happy. She is so intelligent and so incredibly good at the legal profession. I really believe the people she will be working with truly need her and her expertise, her "I can conquer the world" attitude and just her overall spirit in what can be a most frightening situation in their lives that leads them to need this kind of legal assistance. I support and love you endlessly, Mommie!!

-Such an important lesson to learn and share that seems to be so important right now: Your life's passion may be your career, or your career may be what allows you to enjoy your life's passions. Your career doesn't have to define you, but it should add something to your life, even if that 'something' is the ability to enjoy your time outside of work more fully and more gratefully.

Famous movie-worthy quote from the weekend I spent with my loving husband...

Greg said, "Honey, you know you have the key to my heart."

I replied, "I know, we just need to get the lock fixed."

Everyone told me how difficult marriage would be. There's not one person that can honestly say they haven't been warned before taking those vows. Greg and I were not different in that respect, but like many others, we thought our marriage would be different. Or we thought, "Yeah, we know it'll be hard" but we didn't realize how hard it would actually be. At four years, three months and three days of marriage, I realize how very little I knew about this great commitment when I decided to say "I do" and how much I still have to learn. As human beings, we are constantly changing and evolving and sometimes those changes just don't coincide well with our relationship with our spouse. In the midst of what can already be a challenging time of personal changes, we must not only acclimate ourselves but also our mates. I don't know about others, but I know this has been damn difficult for me at times!! And there are also those times when our spouse resists the evolution, I am dragging him kicking and screaming behind me. Believe me, that's not fun, but just when I thought I couldn't pull and yank any more, both of us ready to throw in the towel because we are literally wearing each other out, it suddenly all became clear. I am reminded of several very important things:

1. this person is a part of me and even though that part is struggling, I can't just lop it off as I would merely continue to grow lopsided.

2. he is the man I chose for so many wonderful reasons and it's so easy to forget those reasons when we're in the midst of it all

3. we made a commitment and, though I don't think all commitments are unbreakable, I know this commitment is the most important one I have ever made and I should do whatever it takes to honor and cherish it as such.

So, as some of my family and friends may read this and be fearful that Greg and I are in trouble, be not afraid, we are better than ever because we are communicating; we are being honest; we are loving each other for exactly who we are and not what we think the other should be; we are grateful for the past and grateful that it's behind us and we are excited about our future. We are so excited, in fact, that we are able to share this journey in such a public way. There's a certain element of accountability in that, and we know it. We hope all of you will continue to love and support us, keep us honest and pray that as we continue down our path together, we don't forget these tough times as we truly believe you have to have really, really tough times to move forward and appreciate all of the wonderful things in store for us.

As for that lock I mentioned earlier, we've already gotten to work on repairing it. When we're done with it, it's going to be a strong, gold plated lock, perfectly matched to the key Greg handed me four years, three months and three days ago.

HEATH LEDGER

1979-2008

I wouldn't say Heath Ledger was my all-time favorite actor, but his portrayals in several movies I've seen have been enjoyable to watch. One such portrayal is that of the soft-hearted bad boy in "Ten Things I Hate About You" with Julia Stiles. This teen/chick flick is one I could watch over and over as it's just cheesy enough without being over-the-top. Anyway, when news of Heath Ledger's death came through my office on Tuesday, I was astounded. He is the same age as I am; he has a child; he has a successful acting career, but he has managed to avoid bad press. Why would this happen? Maybe it was an accident, but any time a celebrity is found naked, alone, dead in an apartment surrounded by pill bottles, one tends to think it wasn't an accident. Aside from the shock of someone so young and seemingly successful dying, this occurrence makes me think about how we all try and try to reach certain professional and personal achievements - we make more money, get the promotion, marry the perfect person - and yet we're still unhappy and sometimes destructive. I think Heath Ledger's death is a sure sign of how uncertain life can be. Even with fame and fortune, sadness and despair and recklessness can prevail. I am sad for Heath Ledger, his family and friends, but I am hopeful that his death can somehow be a wake-up call to some other favorite young celebrities (whether they are our favorite ones to love or hate! i.e. Ms. Spears) because whether they like it, or not, they are the ones our children are looking up to, including their own children. I would hate to think that my nieces and nephews are seeing a celebrity's destruction sensationalized by the media and somehow think any part of the behavior is alright. I just hope something positive can come out of something so sad, and I hope when further news of Heath Ledger's death comes out, the media will focus on what may have led to this tragedy and how others might avoid it for themselves instead of sensationalizing the dark side of fame.

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." — Michael Burke

Instincts can be tricky, particularly if we don't listen to them. I consider my instincts a God-given gift that keeps me centered and in tune with myself. Lately there have been lots of conversations going on around me with people in my life about possible change and big life decisions - changing careers, starting a new job, buying a new home, having a baby, making a big move...and the list goes on. I find that during times of decision and choice, it is when we make a definitive decision without much discussion that we are probably acting upon that instinct and doing what is right for ourselves. It is when we begin to question ourselves that things get sticky and confusing. Though I am a talker and one who likes to think about and discuss things to death, I must admit that it's the decisions I make without much of that stuff that tend to be the decisions best suited for me. My career choices, my home, my decision to attend SMU for my undergrad and graduate studies...all of these were decisions that I made pretty easily and have not lived one day of regret about.

Instinct also tells us when someone is 'good' for us and when someone is not. This could be in a professional setting or a personal one. I've found these instincts to be pretty strong and pretty accurate over the years. Instinct allows for self-preservation in so many ways if we'll just listen and be aware and act accordingly. In a world of mass communication, information over-load and having our time fully booked, that place within ourselves that serves to help us know what is best is the only voice worth listening to and the most worthwhile time spent.

Family Weekend

This past weekend in Houston was pretty wonderful. Not only did I get to spend time with my aunt, uncle and cousin from San Diego, but there was a mini reunion at my grandparents' house on Saturday with 17 of us all there together at once. Probably the most wonderful part of it all was watching two of the little cousins, sons of my first cousins, play together. It was like they'd known one another for their entire lives, though they'd only just met that very day. They built toys in the garage workshop together; they acted out skits together; they laughed at each other's jokes and even ate the same thing for lunch! I admit, I got quite sentimental and choked up over the whole experience. There were several of the cousins missing, which was unfortunate, but having so many of us together at once was such a gift. I'm so glad I was able to make it to Houston to be a part of this special time.

Weekend Excitement!

I am super excited about my up-coming weekend. My Uncle Eddie, Aunt Sachiko and second cousin, Wesley, (whom I've never met) are in Houston visiting our family there and I am flying down tomorrow to see them! These are two of my favorite people and I haven't seen them in years. Anyone who knows me well has heard me talk about my Uncle Eddie who is a retired naval officer, lives in San Diego and has always called me "Little Girl." I think I've always held a special place in his heart because he had two sons and I think he may have liked to have a little girl, as well. If you know me well you also know that my Aunt Sachiko who is from Japan is probably the first person in my life to introduce me to Japanese food and Japanese wonders like hand-painted fans and tea sets, silk robes, colorful hankerchiefs, paintings and all the beautiful items that she has given me from her country over the years. Everyone knows I have a real fascination with the Asian culture and with Asian food; Aunt Sachiko started it all! It is even because of her that I call my grandmother "Baba" (meaning 'old woman' in Japanese) and my grandfather "Gege" (meaning 'old man' in Japanese). These are the terms of endearment of all grandparents in Japan. Uncle Eddie and Aunt Sachiko are also the parents of my very favorite cousins, Richard and Kenji. There were times, even though they lived far away, that Kenji (who is only a year older than me) felt more like a brother than a cousin. Kenji even came to Texas and stayed with us over a couple of summers and boy did we have a blast! Every time we saw one another, it was like not a day had gone by and we picked up right where we left off. Not to mention the many, many letters we've written to one another over the years. "Pen Pals for Life" is what we would write. To tell the truth, Kenji and I were pretty enamored with each other. We would laugh so hard we would cry, he would pick on me 'til I wanted to scream and we would share all of our secrets because we trusted that they would stay a secret. Richard, the older, wiser one, was always so allusive and "so cool," but even now when we speak on the phone I feel that same way with him, that there's no space or distance between us. I have always felt very connected to Richard and Kenji and their parents; I always have and I think I always will. When I am around them or speak with them, it just feels like we're family. So, I can't wait to see them and hug them and spend time with them. I am so glad they made their way from San Diego to Houston.

Another greeting that I am overjoyed about making this weekend is with my Mom's new pup - Sunny!! She came into my Mom's life over Christmas and we are both so happy she did. Sunny is a brand new Sheltie puppy and was the runt of the litter just like one of my childhood dogs, Pupkin. Mom and I loved Pupkin so much and her passing was particularly tough on Mom. I always knew that she would have another Sheltie and I am so glad that it's Sunny Girl!! I've seen her once when she was still with her little brothers and sisters and also in a photo, but I can't wait to hold her and squeeze her and play with her this weekend. YEA!! Can't wait.

"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend." — Henry David Thoreau

I am a person of action. Since one of my very best friends has been going through one of the most difficult times in her life, I have wanted to do something for her. I want to feel like I am helping her and helping to in some small way make things better for her. I coordinated a plan to do just that a few weeks ago; I took action. But that plan, though greatly appreciated, was not to be, and I was back to feeling a bit helpless. Since then I have learned a valuable lesson. The very best thing you can do when a friend is experiencing pain and fear and emotional upheaval is just be a friend. I have heard her voice when I tell her I am here for her and she can be as sad or as mad as she wants with me. I have seen her face when I look into her eyes filled with tears and cry with her. I have heard the gratitude when I have said something that has made her laugh even though her heart is aching. Now I realize that my need to take action is somewhat selfish. I want to feel like I'm helping by taking action when this situation is not about me. If I am simply available to my friend, responding to her emotionally, I know instinctively what to do for her and we help each other.

On Monday night at about 12:30 a.m. I got one of those dreaded phone calls from a family member saying someone I love was in the emergency room in serious pain and that I was needed. I didn't even think about it before springing out of bed, putting on my clothes and getting to the hospital right away. I sat with my brother and his wife for hours in the ER while they ran tests and gave very little information all while my brother moaned in agony over the pain he was experincing. This situation was very different from the one previously described because I was asked to help - to do something. It is equally as important to be there during a crisis in the physical sense as it is to be there in the emotional sense. Sometimes just sitting and talking with a loved one at the hopital so they won't be alone in their fear is critical to allowing the patient to in some way relax. My brother had surgery yesterday and he is doing much better today. My sister in law has finally slept, as have I, and this day is looking much better than the last. Being there emotionally and physically for others has made me understand that this is what we're all really here for...to love one another in the best way we can, no rules just right.

I have been loved so much in my life and it feels so good to share that love with those most important to me. Thank you to my best friend, Jenn, my brother, Brett, and sister in law, Tiffany, for helping me see that the very best gift you can give to another is to be their friend and that many times action and plans and stuff has little to do with that.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." — Joseph Campbell

Appropriate Indulgence

My week off for Christmas included the following...

Dec 20: champagne, wine, lots of tasty appetizers and great conversation shared with my new co-workers

Dec 21: dinner, drinks, gifts and so much to say with Nicole

Dec 22: sleeping late, Christmas church service and a long, luxurious dinner by the fire at a new restaurant with Lauren

Dec 23: sleeping late, starting on a well overdue scrapbooking project, Dallas Stars vs. the Canadiens hockey game, large beers and lots of laughs with hubby and Jenn, greeting the hockey players following the game

Dec 24: sleeping late, massage, yummy Thai lunch, purchasing a bag of books to read, "Opa!" fantastic Greek dinner, signature cocktails by the fire at home as I'm opening gifts and staying up late playing a board game with my hubby

Dec 25: sleeping real late, watching the original "Miracle on 34th Street" for the first time, spending time with family and sharing an overabundance of food

Dec 26: sleeping late, lazy time spent with Greg, reading a romance novel, working on a scrapbooking project

Dec 27: sleeping sort of late, a long brunch (3 hours!!) with Nicole, navigating the mall (BAD idea!), more scrapbooking, pizza and beer with hubby

Dec 28: sleeping real late, more scrapbooking, more reading, dinner, drinks and darts with hubby

Dec 29: sleeping late, more scrapbooking, chick flicks at home, drinks with a new friend

Dec 30: sleeping late, breakfast with a big group of friends, more scrapbooking (I think to myself, "Will this book EVER get completed?!"), football, jell-o shot making and poker at Dan's, pizza and beer, bubble bath and finishing the romance novel.

That brings me to today. As one can tell, the last eleven days have been filled with sleeping late, friends, food & drink, my two favorite hobbies, relaxation and more food & drink. If "dinner and drinks" was left off on any of the days above that is simply because I can't remember every meal we enjoyed, but believe me there was plenty enjoyed. I find these indulgences to be a proper finish to a year filled with indulgence, both good and bad.

Indulgence is defined in several ways:

1. something that somebody lets himself or herself or another person have, especially a luxury

2. a kind or tolerant attitude toward somebody

3. the act of gratifying or yielding to a wish

None of these definitions have a negative connotation to them yet so many times the word "indulgence" is associated with over doing something, like over-eating, over-drinking, over-shopping. I intend to continue my indulgences in 2008, but I will be sure that those indulgences are positive in nature and make me feel good as opposed to making me feel bad about myself (as in the over-eating or over-drinking). At the end of this long week off, I feel happy, a well-earned paunchy, very relaxed and certainly ready to ring in a new year of indulging in the journey with my spiritual self, friends, family, healthy fare and the fulfillment of dreams and goals. I wish you the same!

Canceling Christmas

In the spirit of "Christmas with the Krank's," that not-so-funny Tim Allen movie where he over does it with the spray tan in anticipation of a Christmas cruise he and his wife never get to enjoy because their daughter decides at the very last minute to come home for Christmas, I made a bold decision over the weekend. I canceled Christmas.

The original plan was for my grandparents and my mother to come to Dallas and stay with us. We would have dinner on Christmas Eve, probably attend a church service, and then open gifts on Christmas morning before heading out to Bedford to spend some time with Greg's family. Though I was looking forward to spending some time with my family for the holidays, I also know that a quiet Christmas at home alone with my husband is just what the doctor ordered. I asked my grandparents and my Mom if they wouldn't mind if we canceled our plans and they all seemed very understanding. I'm truly not trying to be all "bah-hum-bug!" or anything, I just feel a little overwhelmed and really want to focus on me and Greg.

I still have all the gifts wrapped and under the tree. I still exchanged presents with co-workers, friends and other family members. I will still enjoy drinking hot cider by the fire with my hubby next week, I just won't have to be running around the house all crazy hoping everyone is comfortable all the while only making myself uncomfortable. The few short days Greg and I have off from work together, I want to cherish and enjoy in as much peace and quiet as possible. I'm so glad my family members understand my need for that this year. I am also grateful to have been with them over the long weekend in Houston, which makes the decision so much easier.

All of that said, I am wishing all of you a happy, happy holiday filled with peace of mind, quiet, special moments with the ones you love and, most of all, joy in your heart. Remember, sometimes the very best gifts are the ones we give ourselves, but are also some of the toughest things to remember at this time of the year, like knowing when to say "no" and when to take time alone.

There's just so much I love about music. I have it on all day long - in my office, on my MP3, in my car. My husband accuses me of being into only the lyrics, but that's not the case at all. I have songs that I blast at full blown purely because of the beat. But I will admit that most songs, particularly country music songs, grab me because of the lyrics. Here, a few examples of my favorite awesome, put-a-smile-on-your-face lyrics:

"Settle for a Slow Down" - Dierks Bentley

I must look just like a fool here

in the middle of the road

standing there in your rearview

and getting soaked to the bone

this land is flat as it is mean

a man can see for a hundred miles

So I'm still praying I might see

the glow of a brake light.

But your wheels just turn,

down the road ahead

If it hurts at allyou aint showed it yet

I keep a lookin' for

the slightest sign that you might miss

what you left behind

I know there's nothing stopping you now

but I'd settle for a slowdown.

I held on longer than I should

Believing you might change your mind

And those bright lights of Hollywood

would fade in time.

But your wheels just turn

down the road ahead

If it hurts at all

you aint showed it yet

I keep a lookin' forthe slightest sign

that you might miss

what you left behind

I know there's nothing stopping you now

but I'd settle for a slowdown.

But your wheels just turn

down the road ahead

if it hurts at all

you ain't showed it yet

your just a tiny dot on that horizon line

come on tap those brakes

baby just one time

I know there's nothing stopping you now

Im not asking you to turn back around

I'd settle for a slowdown

come on just slow down

I'd settle for a slow down.

This song just makes me feel all warm and bubbly inside when I hear it. Lyrics, music, voice and all...

"Bubbly" - Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now

You've got me feelin' like a child now

'Cause every time I see your bubbly face

I get the tingles in a silly place

It starts in my toes

And I crinkle my nose

Where ever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Where ever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane

But we are hiding in a safer place

Under covers staying safe and warmY

ou give me feelings that I adore

You start in my toes

Make me crinkle my nose

Where ever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Where ever you go

What am I gonna say

When you make me feel this way

I just mmmmm

Starts in my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose

Where ever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Where ever you go

I've been asleep for a while nowY

ou tuck me in just like a child now

'Cause every time you hold me in your arms

I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul

And I lose all control

When you kiss my nose

The feeling shows'cause you make me smile baby

Just take your time now

Holdin' me tight

Where ever where ever where ever you go

Where ever where ever where ever you go where ever you go

I always know

'Cause you make me smile

Even just for a while

Just a Few Things...

-One of my best friends and her husband are experiencing what none of us would ever want to experience: He needs major surgery and there is the potential for other scary medical news this week. We are hoping and praying that the patient pulls through with flying colors, that a benign "softball" is all we're looking at and that he'll be happy, healthy and cracking jokes about his "battle scar" before too long.

-I attended a farewell luncheon today that I was hesitant about going to because it was for a co-worker (who happens to be a close friend of mine) from Presbyterian, and I would be surrounded by ex-coworkers. Don't know why I was hesitant as they all seemed happy to see me and made me feel so welcome. I'm really glad I attended the luncheon.

-I was completely inspired by the spirit and dedication of my friends who ran a half marathon here in Dallas yesterday! I was also thrilled and proud of the excitment my friends displayed in cheering them on. It made me so happy to be a part of such a wonderful circle of friendship.

-I finished all of our Christmas shopping over the weekend. It took me a few clicks of the mouse to order most things on-line in addition to about five hours of shopping in the stores on Saturday. Whew...marathon shopping.

-I have also almost finished yet another semester of school. I completed the last of the papers and sent them out to my professor today, and all I have remaining is a final exam on Wednesday. I will greatly appreciate walking out of that test Wednesday night...D-O-N-E!!

-I think I am almost fully recovered from my traumatic facial experience last week. The memories of the pain are almost gone, replaced by memories of the wonderful massage I experienced that day, as well.

-I REALLY miss my friends that moved to Connecticutt!! I had a phone date with Jenn last Tuesday evening and we laughed and talked and when we hung-up all I could think was, "I wish we still lived in the same city." Some people move away and you miss seeing them, but it's not top of mind so much. That just isn't the case with Jenn and Mark. I find myself on random Saturdays thinking, "Hey! Let's call them up and go grab a beer." And then I remember that isn't possible...so sad. I guess it just goes to show how much I adore them that I can miss them so much.

Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye.
— Grey Livingston

As I reflect this week on beauty and the things we do for beauty, this quite resonates with me. I endured a pretty severe facial treatment on Tuesday that included about 20 minutes of "extractions," which is a really nice way of saying "excrutiating annihialation of one's face." I've had some issues with my skin for a while now due to those lovely hormones that women deal with. I put off going to see a professional for my issues thinking I could handle it on my own. When there seemed to be no improvement after using various soaps, washes, toners, masks and scrubs, I decided it was time to bring in the big guns. Well, the facial started out wonderfully. A massage here, a scrub there and some relaxing steam all over...but then came that scary magnifying glass with the bright light, a needle and two eager hands to attack my "imperfections." I have never felt pain like this before; I am not exaggerating. For about 20 full minutes, I would wringe my hands, grit my teeth and sometimes cry out in pain. When she was done, which seemed like an eternity from when she began, I was exhausted and my face felt mutilated. "Why did I do this to myself?!" I screamed in my mind. Surely there is a good reason.

It's now a little less than 48 hours later and my face is somewhat calm, but still looks and feels wretched in some areas. The estetician said it would be a good three days for the areas to clear up so I guess I'm hoping that by the weekend, I'll feel and look somewhat back to normal...or better.

Anyway, my point in relaying this horrific event is this: We put ourselves through such pain and anguish for the sake of beauty and yet I'm not even sure what beauty really is. I think what Livingston has to say about the subject is right on - we have to feel beautiful before we will look beautiful. And to be honest, after that facial I put myself through I feel a lot less beautiful now than I did when I walked in to my appointment that day, and I'm sure that's written all over this red, splotchy, raw face. The question is: Do we have to get to the "red, splotchy, raw place" in our lives before we can begin to feel beautiful again? I would hope not in most cases, but in my case, I sure hope so!

Strange things...

-There was a curious squirrel outside my office window for a while when I arrived at work this morning. It seemed to want to come in a stay awhile with me. It stood on its hind legs with it's front paws on the window just staring in at me.

-I saw and experienced my first real wrinkle. It's a crease more than a wrinkle and it's in my forehead. It didn't really bother me when I first saw it, I felt more like, "Aha, that's what people are talking about..." But it seems to grab my eye every time I look in the mirror now. I ask myself, "How did that get there? Will it always be there? Will this become something I'll fret over like so many other women?"

-I attended my first yoga/pilates fusion class at the SMU gym and ended up being the only participant to show up. So, I received a private lesson. It was intimidating and cool and a great workout. The instructor was maybe 20 years old, probably a dance major here at SMU and I felt as though he had no worries in life.

-People who don't get up every morning and go to a "job" intrigue me. I'm not talking about people who work from home, or who travel for work, I'm talking about homemakers and retirees. What do they do all day? Don't they get bored? Do they sleep in late when they want, shower only if they want to, eat whatever and whenever?

-I find it easier to cry and express emotion when watching a TV show than when something dramatic is happening in my own life. My latest craze is Extreme Home Makeover. I cry at the previews! I'd like to think this is because nothing in my life warrants the kind of raw emotion that someone who is in such a situation that they're needing a home warrants, but I'm pretty sure it's something else altogether.

-I have always had a sick competition with my Mother over beauty pageants and the kind of things that just don't matter all that much. When I was very young, I would pick a winner and she would pick a winner and if my girl didn't win, I would cry and cry. Not because I cared for the girl so much as I wanted to beat my Mom. Well, last night it reared its ugly head again because my girl on Dancing with the Stars, Julianne, won the competition for the second time and the only other dancer who has done that is, you guessed it, my Mom's favorite, Cheryl. What was my thought when they handed Julianne and her partner the trophy? "The competition is on!" (Smiles, Mom!!)

-People put so much energy into their wedding day - the plans, the upsets, the stresses, the intricate details - but do we put that much energy into our marriages?

-I'm actually, honestly playing with the idea of getting another degree after I finish my masters next semester. Now that is crazy!!!

What I'm Thankful For

It's that time of year again when people come together to give thanks and to be with family. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because one's only obligation is to share in the abundance with those we love and reflect on what we are grateful for. And that's no obligation at all, but such a blessing!

This year, I am thankful for the people in my life...
my siblings who love me and have always looked out for me
my Mother who is all her own person
my grandparents who make me chuckle
my Father who is always so jolly
my nieces and nephews - every moment with them is such a joy
my New York family who I miss every day, especially on holidays
my friends, without whom I would be lost
my Husband, who fights for me and for us, and who comforts me and keeps me close to his heart.

I am also thankful for...
my new job that I love
my new car that still gets me excited about waking up and driving
inspirations that remind me how blessed I am
therapy
massage
dessert
time alone
great books to read
a friendly smile
a hearty laugh.

Wishing you and yours a time to reflect and be thankful.

New York for the Holidays

Since I can't be in New York for the holidays this year, my sweet mother-in-law has been bringing New York to me through her fabulous photos of all the traditional holiday preparations in the Big City. From the skating rink in Bryant Park, the twinkly lights on all the bigs buildings, the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center to the awesome window dressings in all the department stores, she has really made me feel as close to New York as can be. Nothing compares to a Christmas spent in New York City, what a gift to have family there to visit and to have a New York Mom who cares enough to send me a small piece of what makes New York so wonderful. Here I share some of her gifts...

Leaves changing

City lights

Lord & Taylor, choir and lights

Fabulous department store window - Carmen Marc Valvo, a favorite designer

Another wonderful store window

An appropriate part of this great gift of the holidays in New York, a holiday chef as part of one of the department store windows!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hopeful Expectations

I remember when I was a little girl I would pull everything out of my closet 0r my dresser drawers and I would organize things, throw stuff away that I did not need and I would replace everything I had taken out in a neat and orderly fashion. I would clean my room, dust the shelves and vacuum the floor, putting everything in its place. Then, when everything was sparkly clean and just right, I would bounce down the hall to where my Mom was and excitedly ask her to come see what I had done. She would get that knowing smile on her face and follow me to my room. My Mom would "ooh" and "ahh" at my work all the while thinking to herself, "what kind of child gets this excited about cleaning?" It would thrill me to tackle these projects and then receive the utmost praise and validation from the most important person in my life. No, I wasn't destined to be a housekeeper or manager of the Container Store, though I would be really good at both, I just enjoyed the process of getting things in order and then having someone appreciate it.

Two nights ago I experienced this phenomenon again, but this time I was on the other end of the praise. My Husband has a room in our home that is all his own - his office. It's a wonderful room that has needed some TLC lately due to some poor construction issues when the house was first built. Now that the structural problems are fixed, the walls are patched and the carpet installed, Greg must tackle the task of getting the room just right. (Boy do I know that feeling!) It's still a work in progress, but on Tuesday he'd made a few adjustments and asked that I come see the results of his work. Upon entering the room and seeing the furniture, which has been moved around countless times, in yet another new positioning, I also saw that look on Greg's face. It's the look that I would get as a child watching my Mom enter my room to validate my work. It can only be described as "hopeful expectation." I melted when I saw this look on my sweet Husband's face, and I was also literally taken back to those numerous times as a little girl when I felt exactly the same way. How interesting that Greg and I would both get this hopeful expectation over doing the same types of projects and tasks.

We all experience this hopeful expectation throughout our lives. We thrive on that positive energy that comes from hearing someone you love and respect tell you that you've done well. Imagine how different I would be as a person if, after seeing my work as a child, my Mom had said, "that's good, sweetie, but maybe you should've hung your jackets like this instead," or if she hadn't been willing to walk down the hall to see my work. Though I don't intend to overdramatize this, I do think that how we respond to someone's hopeful expectation of us can truly affect that person. So, when Greg asked me what I thought of his new furniture arrangement in his office I turned to him, smiled and said, "I think this is the best it's ever been and I can't wait to see what else you're going to do in here. Good work!" Though my words were probably a little less impactful to a man of 35 years than for a child of five or six, I knew it could do a world of good none the less.

Who knew that I would learn so much from myself as a little girl that would apply to myself and my marriage at age 28. Who knew that the simple praise and validation from my loving Mother for cleaning my room would make such an impact on me forever and, therefore make an impact on those I love most. It goes to show that you never know what footprints you are leaving on another - walk softly and praise often.

Eating Like a Queen

Since last week when my husband began cooking dinner every night for one of his catering clients, I have eaten like a Queen. I get to sample all of these delicious meals and desserts and I feel so indulgent with every bite. All of the flavors meld together into such an experience...I am in awe!

I have to be honest, Hubby and I went to a very nice restaurant on Saturday night for our anniversary dinner and, although our dinner was good, I truly feel that my husband's food is way better. Maybe I'm biased; maybe we share a love for certain flavors and spices, but I really do think my husband's food is so much better than most meals I have in restaurants. Of course he says that translating one's food to two people at home versus 150 people in a restaurant makes for a variance in quality, but I think he's just gifted.

So, here's to my gifted and talented chef husband. I know how hard you are working this week, how hard you are always working for us and our home and I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.

Happy Anniversary, my love. Four years married and it feels like four minutes! Seven years together and I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for who you are and how you love me. Cheers to us as we celebrate our love and our beautiful, wonderful, perfect day on Saturday, October 25, 2003.

Meet Jett!

So this isn't my exact baby, but I'll have to settle for this photo of a close cousin of her's I found on the Internet to show you how fabulous she is. We brought her home on October 8 and I've enjoyed every minute of my time spent with her. I waited a little while before shouting my love for Jett from the rooftops so as not to offend Rocky, the Jeep Liberty that kept me safe and happy for the last four years. I feel that three weeks is enough time to mourn Rocky and move forward with Jett. All kidding aside, I really do enjoy this car.

My vehicle history is short, but distinguished and might even say a bit about me. I've driven a Jeep since I was 16 years old when, for my 16th birthday, my father gave me "Bitch" as I called my fire engine red Jeep Cherokee Laredo. I drove her for a mere five years before some kids out causing trouble on Halloween in 2000 decided to break into her, drive her into a fence and dump her. She was never driveable again. So sad. Then I was given Sahara, a gold Jeep Grand, through the generosity of our family's local Houston bank and my grandparents. She was expensive, but a nice luxurious step up from the more rugged ride of the Laredo. Sahara and I went through a lot together in the short three years of our relationship. She and I sang tunes at the top of our lungs on the long road between work and home on 175 to Seagoville. And one terrible night, on that dreaded highway as I spoke to my Mother on the phone, I came upon a dog in the far left lane of the highway. I couldn't swerve and I couldn't slow down in time...you know the rest of the story. It was horrible. Sahara and I both knew that things had to end soon after that. If there ever were such a thing as bad karma that was it. So, Sahara was traded in for Rocky - the Jeep Liberty. Rocky was special because it was the first vehicle my husband really encouraged me to get for myself. I picked it out, I wanted it and I was so overjoyed with it. Rocky had leather seats, a sun roof, was the perfect size for a lady and I had no complaints about that great vehicle. But Rocky was leased and it was time to say 'good-bye.' I had a short separation period preceding the lease turn-in, which allowed me to more easily part with Rocky. During that time, I drove my husband's Jeep Grand (pretty sure he hasn't named his Jeep!). I, once again, was able to appreciate it's feeling of comfort and safety that was there from the beginning when I first sat behind the wheel of the Jeep Laredo - the car I learned how to drive in. Jeep has been good to me and I'm glad we've still got one in the family. But now on to my new love...

Jett is a 2008 Volkswagen Jetta. She is a beautiful, yet fun, blue graphite color and she has all the upgrades - sun roof, satellite radio, six-disk CD player, leatherette seats and, my favorite feature, butt warmers!! Jett has a fantastic sound system and she drives like a dream. I, once again, feel both safe and luxurious. I'm glad to know this car is one of the safest on the road with it's multitude of airbags and what not. I also love that the trunk is unreasonably large for a car this size. I never thought I would want to drive anything but a Jeep, but now I know there is a car that suits me just as well.

So, though it may seem strange to spend this much time and thought on a new car, I think it's important to enjoy something you spend so much time with. What a great way to start my day than being excited to drive my new car?! So much has happened with me and my vehicles over the years and I look forward to many new memories with Jett.

Things I've learned this week...

We are coming to the end of the Information Age and going into the Imagination Age. In this new age, we must focus on our emotional intelligence - people skills & creativity - if we are to excel as a nation in this global economy.

Children can't fine tune their emotional intelligence with their thumbs working a Gameboy, their fingers on a keyboard, eyes always glued to the TV or with a phone afixed to their ear. They will need time every day for sanctuary to think, create and work on who they are as people and for those around them.

I miss playing outdoors and being creative like I was as a kid. I fill so much of my time "doing stuff" and not "just being." I'm sure there's some deep-rooted psychological reason for this...

I'll never stop being amazed by my husband's talent, skills and ability to wow those around him with his creativity, humor and great ideas. He is already waltzing through his own "Imagination Age" leading me to think he'll do just fine over the next decade.

Being the first to finish a mid-term exam should feel good, but it actually feels damn scary. Oh the power of peer pressure and self-doubt...

Fridays come pretty fast when you're enjoying every moment of your week.

I just love this quote, especially that I'm receiving it today since I've kind of splurged in the last 24 hours: had a piece of milk chocolate with my afternoon tea yesterday, licked the spatula after my husband made fudge last night, had a non-fat white mocha latte this morning and two pieces of toffee this afternoon. Funny how once you get started with that sweet tooth, you just can't stop!! We all need a little sweetness now and then...

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis

Fort Worth & Fall

It's amazing how the season of fall makes you feel. I'm so glad things are cooling down a bit. It's crazy how different 82 degrees feels from 92 degrees. It's been a warm October...a long summer and I am happy about fall. October is the month of leaves changing, people beginning to don light sweaters and jackets and snuggling a little closer together. October is also the month of my anniversary and that of several of my friends. We so enjoy the excitment of the plans and the reminiscing on our special days. Yes, October is one of my favorite months. There's just something fun and electric in the air.

On one of the first nights of fall, I went to Fort Worth over the weekend for only the second time in my life and I already want to go back. A friend and I met my Mom and Aunt for dinner in the Stockyards, which is a bustling area with restaurants and bars that definitely make Texas really seem like Texas. The restaurant we patronized was Lonesome Dove whose chef, Tim Love, has battled the Iron Chef (and won!!) on the Food Network. We got our photo taken with Chef Tim (see below) and enjoyed the food and wine.

Nicole, Chef Tim Love and Me

After dinner, we headed to downtown Fort Worth where we encountered bikers, cowboys, rockers, frat guys, rastafarians and a late-in-life gigilo all at one old music mainstay of Fort Worth - J&J's Blues Bar. Quite an experience! The music was great and I'd say it was a memorable night.

Yes, I definitely want to return to Fort Worth and experience all the other things that city has to offer. For only being about 50 minutes from Dallas, it sure is different and I liked it.

VALIDATION

"Shall we bet on the over and under for how many words they'll change today?"

"I think they might be on LSD...how much of this thing has changed..."

"You've really busted your ass on this thing and they just keep changing their minds."

I've been working for the past few weeks on a project that has truly tested my ability to mediate and communicate between different people from various facets of this new career world I am living in. The quotes above are from a faculty member who really "got my back" throughout this whole thing. We met for the first time in the meeting where this project was first discussed. I had not met him, or anyone else in the room that day, before. My job was to take what the internal folks and the external folks all wanted and make it cohesive and executable while maintaining the professionalism it takes to keep everyone happy. A lot of trust and faith goes into all that. This faculty member I mentioned previously not only put the utmost of faith and trust in me, he has also validated what this process has been like for me through his humorous comments above. And let me tell you, there's nothing quite like validation, especially when you've been thrown into the fire on a $500,000 proposal that involves curriculum changes at the masters level and the approval of people like the Provost of the school, all of the heads of my department, the leadership of the business school and the department that stands to benefit from this gift. Yes, validation is paramount and I have latched on to all that I can get through this whole process.

Luckily, the proposal is complete, has been approved by all the powers that be and it is due today. I am sincerely grateful for getting through this and coming out on the other side feeling relieved, frazzled, proud, scared and validated all at the same time. Strange thing is--though it's been a crazy few weeks working on this project and I've questioned myself and battered my way through--I've loved every minutes of it!!!!!

That Stinks!!

As I look out my office window I see the students and adults walking by with cigarettes in their hands or hanging from their lips and I am reminded how much I loathe it. I truly think smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco are two of the absolute worst things. I've always hated cigarettes as many of the people in my family smoke, including my Mom, so I've been exposed to it for as long as I can remember. Luckily now that I am older, cigarettes have less of a place in my life except when I am with family. Only a couple of my friends smoke and they are very considerate of those who do not that I don't even notice that they smoke, and since the smoking ban passed here in Dallas, I don't even have to encounter this smelly, disgusting inconvenience when I'm out anymore. Thank goodness! Honestly, I just don't get it. The smell, the cost, the health risks...why would ANYONE want to smoke? When I see these college kids smoking, it makes me think that it's being done purely for the rebellion. If you never start, you never have to stop and I don't know why anyone would ever pick up something that gives you bad breath, stinks up your clothes, burns your throat and lungs, makes you cough, takes money away from other, more fun, activities, and annoys those non-smokers around. This is one of those soap box issues for me-I'm surprised I haven't hopped up on it for a blog entry before. Cigarettes and tobacco are good for nothing and they affect not only the consumer, but also those around them and that just stinks!! I wish cigarettes and tobacco would cease to exist and that all tobacco and nicotine addiction would be eradicated.

New things in my life that I find fun/interesting/unique:

-walking in the rain this morning with my new raincoat on--I LOVE my new raincoat and have been dying to wear it!!

-Baby Isabelle, Baby Oscar

-learning about being of Generation Y

-great double dates with M/M Childs

-an extended and beneficial beauty routine in the evenings

-reading the news on Yahoo! each day

-class descriptions, though seemingly enthralling, can be deceptive of what you actually get

-watching "Dancing with the Stars" when I can,

the new "Bachelor" and the new show

"Private Practice" every week

-new friends that make me laugh

-attending new and different workout classes

at the SMU gym

-not sweating the small stuff

-eating sushi for lunch two times per week--YUM!

-keeping a lunch date with my friend, Brooke, every week

-not using car time as "phone time" but as "me time"

-new windows, new carpet and some other new surroundings that make our home even more wonderful for us to come home to, which I didn't think possible

-the simplest luxuries that make a real difference

-waking up earlier, working later

and making the most of every minute that I'm awake!

"In youth we learn; in age we understand."
— Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

I like this quote and the idea behind it, but I wonder if this is really true. I know for sure that after a nice, long conversation with my Mom and Grandmother (Baba) while in Houston over Labor Day that they are at different points in their learning and understanding. Mom being 55 and Baba being just shy of 86, you can probably guess that each had their own take on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I think my Mom understands a lot, but she also admits to continuing to learn things about people, about the world and about herself. I respect the fact that my Mom doesn't pretend to know and understand it all. What I learned from Mom on this trip:

-Love and friendship are great, an integral part of marriage, but sex and attraction is equally as important.

-Every day we wake-up and we have choices. It's what we do with those choices that shapes our lives.

-One of the most important relationships is the one we have with our parents/parental figures.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

My Baba, on the other hand, is not a 'know it all,' but I get the sense that she just understands the things about her life that the rest of us are still learning a little deeper than anyone can who hasn't lived as long. She doesn't get bogged down in the little things of life, like I tend to do, she just knows a few, simple, yet crucial things about life that she understands deeply and holds strong to and that's it. From my talks with her alone, I learned:

-A woman can never have too many pairs of shoes, even at 86.

-Jewelry, hand bags and a new outfit will always bring a smile to a woman's face and a grumpiness to a man's voice.

-Being desired by a man is always nice.

-Baba originated, and still holds to the mantra, "Always keep a little for yourself..." (I just thought that my Mom coined the phrase!!)

-Giving to others is one of the most blessed things in life.

I can say the same for my Grandfather (Gege), who Baba and I talked with later after the Mom and Baba conversations. Baba and Gege don't really question certain things, like their marriage, their faith, their life situation, their past. They understand that what you worry about all your life, or live all your years learning about, comes down to a few simple beliefs, in no particular order, that I was able to glean from this conversation with my Baba and Gege:

-Enjoy life as much as you can, and know that you can't change those around you, only yourself.

-Be faithful to God, family and self.

-Friendship and love are to be cherished, no matter your age.

-You're going to screw up, people around you are going to screw up--deal with it, learn from it, try to do better/be better next time and move on.

-Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it, you can only change how you let it affect you.

-Work hard, play hard. Save for retirement, but don't ever really "retire."

-Pay your taxes.

-You have more resilience than you could ever imagine.

So, I guess Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach is right. We spend all of our younger years learning what we can only hope to understand as we grow older and wiser. I am lucky that I have grandparents and a mother who try to teach me all that they already understand in such a loving way. But, as is the way of children/grandchildren, there are plenty of things I am just going to have to learn on my own that I can, hopefully, try to teach my children and grandchildren one day.

"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
— Mother Theresa

My husband had sinus surgery last Thursday and contrary to what he and I thought, it is one of the worst experiences of his life. The surgery went well and took all of an hour, but the recovery has been brutal. He's still at home now trying to recuperate. For the last four days I've done my best to be patient, kind, accommodating, wifely, quiet, helpful, sweet and all that, but it's been frustrating not to be able to help rid him of his pain and anguish altogether. In my powerlessness these last few days, I've found there's really something about being needed. I've enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy, doing the smallest things, like warming up a wet wash cloth to lay on his forehead, that makes the biggest difference. I appreciate his wanting me there with him even when he sleeps, or his allowing me to help him move around long after he really needed me to.

When I saw this quote from Mother Theresa come across my e-mail this morning I knew it was an opportunity to look at this time with my husband as a gift. Needing one another is a fundamental part of marriage and I'm grateful that I am needed and that I can give with all my love. It's unfortunate that feeling needed most times comes during times of hurt or illness, but to feel needed is to feel loved and to give in a loving manner is the greatest gift two people can share. God must put these trials and tribulations in our lives to remind us of this, and I think this quote could not have come into my life at a more perfect time for a more perfect reason.

So much to report, but I'll keep it short and sweet!

We have a new arrival for the O'Neill Clan--the first O'Neill Baby in 35 years. My husband was the last O'Neill Baby born until now.

Oscar Benjamin Joseph O'Neill was born yesterday, September 9, to Greg's brother and his fiance, Lisa. We are so overjoyed at the latest addition to the family.

Two new nephews in one year (We welcomed baby boy, Blane Carman, to the family in June!!)...doesn't get any better than that!

A few things...

-Well, it's been a whirlwind few days at the new job. I am enjoying it and learning a lot and feeling more and more like this was the best decision.

-My husband has "knocked it out of the park", making me so proud and excited for him. He was the chef/caterer for a high profile wedding held over three days out of town this past weekend. From what he has said and from the reviews of those in attendance, it was a fabulous weekend of wonderful cuisine to rave about!! I can't wait to see what sort of opportunities this exciting event may open up for him.

-I am headed to visit my grandparents and my mom this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the long weekend to reflect on my new job and to share a lot of love and hugs with my grandparents. I haven't been to see them since my grandfather's very crucial, very successful surgery, and I'm happy to report that he's getting better every day, he just wants his Claire there to give him some love!! I'm on my way, Gege.

-Having additional work done on the house, which is good, but always a bit stressful. Greg and I are dealing with it very well and I am happy to let him handle it. He's great about balancing a good deal with good workmanship.

-I have begun school and I'm taking two really interesting courses--speech & body language and the interpretation of dreams. Hope I can keep my head above water with the new job and the full schedule at school!!

That's the report for now.

I can't even begin to express my complete and utter joy over being back on the SMU campus as a student AND a staff member!! Who would've ever guessed this would be where my path would lead me? I am seriously on Cloud Nine and I haven't felt this excited and this happy in a long time--particularly about work. Funny thing is, you almost don't realize how unhappy you are with things until something else shows you how good it can be elsewhere.

Almost as a symbol for how things are for me right now, I have a nice, new office with a bright window overlooking the bustling campus very near to my freshman dorm and the student center (aahhh...the memories!), I have new co-workers that I am extremely excited to get to know better and who have made me feel more than welcome here and I feel so proud of myself, which probably sounds a bit strange, but it's really the only way I have to describe this feeling--pride and joy.

All is good with the world today!!!

A Note on My Reluctance

There are few things in life that truly scare me. Fear is not something I walk around with each day and not something I give power to, if I can help it. As my Mother has always taught me, "If you're doing/not doing something because of fear, you are doing it/not doing it for the wrong reasons. Nothing good comes from a place of fear."

Well, I may not have a lot of fears in my life, but the ones I do have are very serious. One of those fears has been on the tip of my tongue, in the sharpest corner of my mind and has permeated my dreams lately. That fear has caused me to be reluctant in writing about something that has been severely weighing on my mind. Until I had some resolution, I couldn't bear to think much about it, much less blog about it.

That fear is losing my grandparents.

Last Monday, my first love underwent cardiac bypass surgery. When I heard that this surgery was going to be necessary, I almost lost my breath and I definitely lost my grasp. My grandfather is an active, spirited 81 years old. Some of his favorite past times are working in the yard, home improvements and building things, so you can imagine when he began having severe chest pains that he was not happy about it. He wanted relief, no matter what. So, when the doctor said that major open-heart surgery was necessary, the Lord allowed my grandfather to forget the pain and anguish of his first by-pass surgery performed more than 15 years ago, and he said without a doubt, "Sign me up!" It's that attitude and gumption for life that I love about both of my grandparents. But I was scared...

You see, there's just something about me and my grandparents, and I like to think it's unique to us three, so we'll just pretend that it is. My grandparents are like no other two people I've ever met, both in who they are to the world and who they are to me. I know I am blessed to have two grandparents around to know and love, but I am even more blessed to have these grandparents.

My grandfather, Gege as I call him, is the first man I ever fell in love with. That kind of love that no matter what, he can never do any wrong. He is a father, grandfather, friend, confidante, teddy bear, rock, comedian, perfectionist, teacher and he means the world to me. Who wouldn't love a man who has a sparkle in his eye, an intelligent word to say, an unwavering faith, a funny spark of humor, is good-looking and loves you so much you can feel it every time you're around him?!? I still get that "Gege's little girl" feeling that I've had since birth when I'm around him, and that is just priceless. He is a true gift...

So, you see, I have been reluctant about saying anything about his surgery until I knew for sure my Gege would be alright. I only told a few people about this so that they could pray and hope and wish with me for his healthy recovery. Now, I can shout from the rooftops, "Fifteen more years with my Gege!!!!" He's all mine.

No more fear or reluctance, just love and gratitude and "hallelujah!"

I love you, Gege, more than I could ever express, more than you can ever know. Thank you for being the strength and courage and faith that I have always depended on. Thank you for fighting for me having my Gege for another 15 years. Thank you to the doctors and nurses at St. Luke's Hospital in Houston for allowing me more time with my first love.

"There are two good things in life; freedom of thought and freedom of action."
— William Somerset Maugham

I must agree with Mr. Somerset Maugham. In the last few weeks I have had the pleasure of enjoying much freedom...the freedom to dream about what could be ahead for me in my career, the freedom to make the decision to stay or to go, the freedom to accept a new job and resign from the old one. And I jumped on that freedom, grabbed it around the neck, flung it around in raw, crazy emotion and then hugged it tightly to myself so as to make it a part of my being.

On Monday I accepted a job offer from Southern Methodist University, my alma mater. The place that seemed like only a lofty aspiration when I was 17 looking for the right college. Fortunately, SMU became a great reality that brings me so much joy to remember and so much happiness even now as a graduate student. I have been given the chance to work for a place I have so much passion about, a place that, in many ways, has saved my life. I will be stepping out of doing communications work, as I do now, and into fundraising for the Cox School of Business at SMU. The Cox School is a Top Ten business school and is very well-respected in Dallas, in Texas and in the U.S. This is a new, exciting, challenging opportunity, and I can't wait to get started.

It feels very freeing to have sought this opportunity and had the interest in me returned from SMU ten-fold. As has been the case in so many ways in my life thus far, this great thing happened at just the right time and for all the right reasons. I feel so blessed.

Freedom - we may think we have it because there are no visible chains and no obvious mental control, but freedom is something we feel in our hearts. I know because today my heart soars unbound and overjoyed!!